joe salsman = awesome dude of the day!

"I was watching a special earlier tonight on Discovery health Channel about a women name Kathy who was having stomach-stapling surgery. Kathy wouldn't have been bad looking if she dropped two hundred pounds and stopped wearing her hair like the Hulk. She actually looked a lot like Agustas Gloop. The documentary narrator must have said the words 'morbidly obese' about forty times. I loved it. I don't know why , but I enjoy those words very much. Maybe because they're so brutally honest. So, how was your blind date? 'Morbidly obese.' Not a lot of room for interpretation there. It's probaby not a term used very often in singles ads. 'Morbidly obese woman seeks morbidly obese gentleman for friendship and geometrically impossible attempts at intercourse. Must enjoy strenuous activities such as breathing, shoe tying, and taking long, romantic walkes to the kitchen. I love dogs and horses as well as traditional luncheon meats. My favoirte films are Shallow Hal and anything starring Marlon Brando after 1980.You must be sincere. intelligent, and adapt at barnacle removal.'
I sure would hate to be stricken with morbid ovesity. I wonder how the doctor words that to a patient. 'Well, Kathy, as everyone in the free world already knows, you're obese. Now I hate to be the bearer of such news, but I'm sure your suspicions were alread aroused by things like creaking floorboards and housedresses that were mistaken for car covers. I feel it's my duty to inform you that your obesity has shot past unpleasant, sailed right over disgusting, made a brief stop at horrendous, and finaly landed on morbid'"