in a desperate attempt to NOT read Redeemers, Bourbons, & Populists of Tennessee from 1870 to 1896 ((EW!)) i have decided to scrap that book and today i will be checking out American Folk Music and Left-Winged Politics from 1927 to 1957!
FUCK YES!
i actually can't wait for the library to open.
i hope to finish reading it by tuesday so i can finish my 7 page paper by thursday.
((breath))
in other news... had an awkward run-in with jx last night as he was leaving his gig at andy's. the last time i talked to him was about a month ago when i called asking for some of my things back... that he's had for over a year... but claims to have lost them or have never borrowed them at all...
((do less drugs or become a better liar))
but he chatted up dx for a good five minutes before even looking at me, and then waited for his new girl to walk back inside with x's ((HA! minors...)) on her hands before saying hi.
wow, dude. grow up. then grow a pair. balls. i just want my shit back.
in other exciting news, cxpx texted me at 8am and is apparently stopping in denton on his move to brownsville, tx... TODAY! also... he was in kansas at the time. half-way. a two-day notice would have been nice... and even better if i could get my work shift picked up.
but even if my shift was covered, i would still feel guilty about not reading my book for the class i'll more than likely fail.
i still hope to see him.
Showing posts with label jx. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jx. Show all posts
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
defying physics, i find myself much less attractive the more i drink.
but tonight was of great irony.
i went to rubber gloves for art fusion night with a dude i met at andys last night. turns out he's waay more interesting after... wait... no... he's just uninteresting.
tonight's art medium was nude body painting. and who would be modeling but my bff!!!
she approached me while i was talking about something of minimal interest with lamedudefromandys and told me that she was one of the models for art fusion night and immediately added that she thought she was preggers5000. don't caere.
rx and tx are regulars at rubber gloves, and tx is one of the regular artists.
tx mostly painted anatomical inside-out-man-stylee. prior to hearing the preggers story, she drew a fetus on ariel's stomach. AWKWARD! i jetted shortly after. i'm sure she totally thinks i squealed, but that's someting only blog-gossip and homeboy-telling worthy.
whatevs.
jx showed up with my favorite italian and we will see batman via imax tomorrow because i was officially fucked out of 311 and snoop.
ya'll can fuck yourselves.
but tonight was of great irony.
i went to rubber gloves for art fusion night with a dude i met at andys last night. turns out he's waay more interesting after... wait... no... he's just uninteresting.
tonight's art medium was nude body painting. and who would be modeling but my bff!!!
she approached me while i was talking about something of minimal interest with lamedudefromandys and told me that she was one of the models for art fusion night and immediately added that she thought she was preggers5000. don't caere.
rx and tx are regulars at rubber gloves, and tx is one of the regular artists.
tx mostly painted anatomical inside-out-man-stylee. prior to hearing the preggers story, she drew a fetus on ariel's stomach. AWKWARD! i jetted shortly after. i'm sure she totally thinks i squealed, but that's someting only blog-gossip and homeboy-telling worthy.
whatevs.
jx showed up with my favorite italian and we will see batman via imax tomorrow because i was officially fucked out of 311 and snoop.
ya'll can fuck yourselves.
Friday, July 25, 2008
broadcasting live from my new chair that really ties the room together.
i think i should spend the rest of my night sitting on my chair upside-down and practicing backward somersaulting off of it. you know, for special guest or featured artist entrances.
i'm actually slightly disappointed that i the places i went tonight were places i guess i could have gone earlier. i went to boiler room to catch some hip-hop. i felt bad for talking it up to homeboy, but it sucked when he got there so he left, but then the people that were on stage earlier and were good went back up again and were alright and then sucked again when we left. thursday night! bi-polar hip-hop night! whatever.
in between i went to hailey's for barf-night, err 80's night... whatever. it's ultra-upsetting since the only other times i've been there were for fucking great shows. whatever.
at least haters can't say shit because they were all there and probably danced. gross.
i think i should spend the rest of my night sitting on my chair upside-down and practicing backward somersaulting off of it. you know, for special guest or featured artist entrances.
i'm actually slightly disappointed that i the places i went tonight were places i guess i could have gone earlier. i went to boiler room to catch some hip-hop. i felt bad for talking it up to homeboy, but it sucked when he got there so he left, but then the people that were on stage earlier and were good went back up again and were alright and then sucked again when we left. thursday night! bi-polar hip-hop night! whatever.
in between i went to hailey's for barf-night, err 80's night... whatever. it's ultra-upsetting since the only other times i've been there were for fucking great shows. whatever.
at least haters can't say shit because they were all there and probably danced. gross.
Friday, June 06, 2008
i woke up scraped and bruised from last night's wrestling match over my camera.
since i can no longer afford my trip to LA, px says i owe him big time. i decided to repay my debts to him the only way i know... explicit photos.
the importance of the privacy of these photos is mild. px enjoys the fact that he is the only one that gets to see them, but if someone were to glance at one or two, i can't say i'd care.
however, there is a possibility that these photos were taken in the bed of the homeboy trying to wrestle the camera from me. so the importance of the privacy of these photos from him is much higher.
then upon leaving homeboy's place, i was attacked by this guy.
had to drive home with a swollen mound on my back so i could ice it for an hour to get the stinger out. apparently taking nudie pics of yourself in someone else's bed with no intentions of showing them later is just bad kharma. bitches.
is this even street legal?
last night was big momma and little daddy's drag show at the boiler room. presenting the same gay 30-somethings doing the same christina aguilera songs with a better girlish figure than me.
jx showed up, fresh from 80's night at hailey's, with less than fresh clothing... note the sweat lines. ((also, FUCK 80's night))
i remember who black mike is! he's the guy that's more into himself than homeboy is that works at the abbey inn! anyway, he was at the drag show last night and he bought me a shot and i was okay with it and he said i was pretty while he walked me to my car and i rolled my eyes because i don't really subscribe to that, but it was a nice gesture and he kissed me and it was nice but i asked him to stop because i don't really subscribe to that either. blah blah blah everything predictable about leaving the bar and that one guy just won't leave you alone but you're too nice or awkward to just say no. but then he said something that actually suprised me.
black mike said:
you're right. i shouldn't be doing that if you're still with that other guy.
mengtar said:
what other guy?
black mike said:
your boyfriend. the dudeboy with the sweatband on.
mengtar said:
whoa.... no no no... where did you get that idea?
black mike said:
last time i saw you out, he told me to back down because the two of you were kind of together...
wow, jx, your shallow levels never cease to amaze me. just wow.
but apparently the feelings from the combination of being less attractive than drag queens and homeboy deciding 3 minutes in that he was just too tired has carried over from last night into my morning. i'd rather not go to work and stay in my room and not let anyone look at me today.
i need a break from the way you make me feel like shit. i'm glad pumpkin head will be here soon.
since i can no longer afford my trip to LA, px says i owe him big time. i decided to repay my debts to him the only way i know... explicit photos.
the importance of the privacy of these photos is mild. px enjoys the fact that he is the only one that gets to see them, but if someone were to glance at one or two, i can't say i'd care.
however, there is a possibility that these photos were taken in the bed of the homeboy trying to wrestle the camera from me. so the importance of the privacy of these photos from him is much higher.
then upon leaving homeboy's place, i was attacked by this guy.
had to drive home with a swollen mound on my back so i could ice it for an hour to get the stinger out. apparently taking nudie pics of yourself in someone else's bed with no intentions of showing them later is just bad kharma. bitches.
is this even street legal?
last night was big momma and little daddy's drag show at the boiler room. presenting the same gay 30-somethings doing the same christina aguilera songs with a better girlish figure than me.
jx showed up, fresh from 80's night at hailey's, with less than fresh clothing... note the sweat lines. ((also, FUCK 80's night))
i remember who black mike is! he's the guy that's more into himself than homeboy is that works at the abbey inn! anyway, he was at the drag show last night and he bought me a shot and i was okay with it and he said i was pretty while he walked me to my car and i rolled my eyes because i don't really subscribe to that, but it was a nice gesture and he kissed me and it was nice but i asked him to stop because i don't really subscribe to that either. blah blah blah everything predictable about leaving the bar and that one guy just won't leave you alone but you're too nice or awkward to just say no. but then he said something that actually suprised me.
black mike said:
you're right. i shouldn't be doing that if you're still with that other guy.
mengtar said:
what other guy?
black mike said:
your boyfriend. the dudeboy with the sweatband on.
mengtar said:
whoa.... no no no... where did you get that idea?
black mike said:
last time i saw you out, he told me to back down because the two of you were kind of together...
wow, jx, your shallow levels never cease to amaze me. just wow.
but apparently the feelings from the combination of being less attractive than drag queens and homeboy deciding 3 minutes in that he was just too tired has carried over from last night into my morning. i'd rather not go to work and stay in my room and not let anyone look at me today.
i need a break from the way you make me feel like shit. i'm glad pumpkin head will be here soon.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
because of superbonbon's jerkface comment i ran this morning. i was planning on eating absolutely horribly all week and gaining a million pounds and then requitting smoking post-birthday and running... but this means war...
could have been cool, but my camera sucks and i didn't get to approve it. fuck. homeboy, we have to recreate this with your camera of goodness instead of my camera of blurry nightshots before they take down the minibridge of all things adorable.
two days ago i had a dream that sisterx had worms and i was scared that i had them. i knew what kind they were in my dream, but i can't remember the name. i remember they come from eating undercooked pork and it's the kind that gets into your muscles and is all coiled up ((not the heart kind or the super-ultra gross one that hatches in your lungs and then you cough it up and swallow it and it spends the rest of it's life in your digestive track until it's time to lay its eggs again and then it eats through your stomach and into your lungs and lays it's eggs and then crawls back into your stomach and doesn't stop growing until one of you dies. that's legit. ew.)) anyway, it starts with a 'p' or a 't'. i'm pretty sure it's the 't'.
later that night best friend and i finished the commuter crossword puzzle at work. first word of the puzzle, 4 down, segmented worms, eight letters. ANNELIDS. damn, i'm good.
i came home to find these little guys hanging out in my window. cuteness5000. but i bet they have mites.
i had tiramisu for breakfast. then i went running. i'm lactose intolerant and wanted to throw up. now that i've settled a bit, i kind of just have to poop.
i went to texas 8ball the other night to shoot some pool with jx. we played for shots and i won 2 of 3. the original ax was there ((along with everyone else i've ever met in texas ever)) and greeted me with, "hey, sugar, good to see you. have you lost weight?" and then i decided that everyone should say that every time they see me and then buy me shots of jameson later. work on that.
yesterday was earth day. what did i do for earth day... around 11.45p i made an atm bank deposit and i chose the "no receipt" option. yay earth!
i'm working on incorporating barrettes into my hair-accessory rotation. it's proving to be more difficult than i thought because i don't know how to style my hair and i only own one barrette that i found on the floor at work. le sigh.
after my 13-hour shift yesterday, i took the longest and most amazing shower that i've probably ever taken ever. even after running, i think this is the cleanest i've been in about 5 years. i shampooed twice.
i don't work until noon, which means i'm probably going to be working on the patio which means that i will either be sent home or be really crabby the rest of the day. i hate the patio.
could have been cool, but my camera sucks and i didn't get to approve it. fuck. homeboy, we have to recreate this with your camera of goodness instead of my camera of blurry nightshots before they take down the minibridge of all things adorable.
two days ago i had a dream that sisterx had worms and i was scared that i had them. i knew what kind they were in my dream, but i can't remember the name. i remember they come from eating undercooked pork and it's the kind that gets into your muscles and is all coiled up ((not the heart kind or the super-ultra gross one that hatches in your lungs and then you cough it up and swallow it and it spends the rest of it's life in your digestive track until it's time to lay its eggs again and then it eats through your stomach and into your lungs and lays it's eggs and then crawls back into your stomach and doesn't stop growing until one of you dies. that's legit. ew.)) anyway, it starts with a 'p' or a 't'. i'm pretty sure it's the 't'.
later that night best friend and i finished the commuter crossword puzzle at work. first word of the puzzle, 4 down, segmented worms, eight letters. ANNELIDS. damn, i'm good.
i came home to find these little guys hanging out in my window. cuteness5000. but i bet they have mites.
i had tiramisu for breakfast. then i went running. i'm lactose intolerant and wanted to throw up. now that i've settled a bit, i kind of just have to poop.
i went to texas 8ball the other night to shoot some pool with jx. we played for shots and i won 2 of 3. the original ax was there ((along with everyone else i've ever met in texas ever)) and greeted me with, "hey, sugar, good to see you. have you lost weight?" and then i decided that everyone should say that every time they see me and then buy me shots of jameson later. work on that.
yesterday was earth day. what did i do for earth day... around 11.45p i made an atm bank deposit and i chose the "no receipt" option. yay earth!
i'm working on incorporating barrettes into my hair-accessory rotation. it's proving to be more difficult than i thought because i don't know how to style my hair and i only own one barrette that i found on the floor at work. le sigh.
after my 13-hour shift yesterday, i took the longest and most amazing shower that i've probably ever taken ever. even after running, i think this is the cleanest i've been in about 5 years. i shampooed twice.
i don't work until noon, which means i'm probably going to be working on the patio which means that i will either be sent home or be really crabby the rest of the day. i hate the patio.
Friday, April 18, 2008
it's not so much that i drank too much last night as much as i just drank too much all day.
i started my day with lunch at chopstix with sx. i showed up early and had some shiner so i could keep drinking while she was there and only look like an alcoholic in front of the waiter. i'm not above that.
couple beers to hold me out the rest of the day.
sobered up at jupiter and talked to a good friend for about 4 hours.
went home to ((drink)) make banana bread... and i learned that i should never cook sober again. here is an incomplete list why:
i'm more inventive.
i become ((fearfull)) cautious around ovens
i photograph!
i don't have the patience for lists today. i already started the laundry, cleaned, and vaccuumed, what more do you want from me?
don't worry, i will also provide some step-by-step instructions on how to make my amazingly simple banana bread of awesomeness. later.
i rewatched sweeny todd. my new favorite tragedy. still love it, and not because i'm swooning over johnny depp... whatever.
caught up with homeboy ((to drop off my banana bread donation and for intense cuddling)) and watched jet li's unleashed. suprisingly good. fewer fight scenes than i had ((hoped)) thought, but there was actually a decent storyline... and morgan freeman is a blind piano tuner with the personality of every morgan freeman role he has ever played... but i still love it.
i also watched the first third of sawIII. ew!!! just like sawII, i closed my eyes during a gross scary part and fell asleep. i deserved it.
UPDATE: also, while i was sitting at jupiter house for forever, jx and Max ((not to be confused with mAx or max)) walked in. i was on my laptop and had headphones in. i looked up and smiled and waved. Max gave me stinkeye and jx just looked at me awkwardly and gave a half-wave. less than a half wave. let's go with a fifth. he waved at 20 per cent capacity. unacceptable.
they got some coffee or whatever and i figured they would say hi or jx would give me a hug or something since every time we talk he goes on and on about how he's "still crazy about me" and whatnot, but when i looked back up, they were walking out.
who the hell do you think you are?!? i know you know that i'm kind of a big deal, and just because your bff hates me doesn't mean you should be putting on a fucking show just because she's with you. we're not together and despite your continued fantasies, won't be getting back together so why are you continuing to lie about it?
whatever.
i started my day with lunch at chopstix with sx. i showed up early and had some shiner so i could keep drinking while she was there and only look like an alcoholic in front of the waiter. i'm not above that.
couple beers to hold me out the rest of the day.
sobered up at jupiter and talked to a good friend for about 4 hours.
went home to ((drink)) make banana bread... and i learned that i should never cook sober again. here is an incomplete list why:
i'm more inventive.
i become ((fearfull)) cautious around ovens
i photograph!
i don't have the patience for lists today. i already started the laundry, cleaned, and vaccuumed, what more do you want from me?
don't worry, i will also provide some step-by-step instructions on how to make my amazingly simple banana bread of awesomeness. later.
i rewatched sweeny todd. my new favorite tragedy. still love it, and not because i'm swooning over johnny depp... whatever.
caught up with homeboy ((to drop off my banana bread donation and for intense cuddling)) and watched jet li's unleashed. suprisingly good. fewer fight scenes than i had ((hoped)) thought, but there was actually a decent storyline... and morgan freeman is a blind piano tuner with the personality of every morgan freeman role he has ever played... but i still love it.
i also watched the first third of sawIII. ew!!! just like sawII, i closed my eyes during a gross scary part and fell asleep. i deserved it.
UPDATE: also, while i was sitting at jupiter house for forever, jx and Max ((not to be confused with mAx or max)) walked in. i was on my laptop and had headphones in. i looked up and smiled and waved. Max gave me stinkeye and jx just looked at me awkwardly and gave a half-wave. less than a half wave. let's go with a fifth. he waved at 20 per cent capacity. unacceptable.
they got some coffee or whatever and i figured they would say hi or jx would give me a hug or something since every time we talk he goes on and on about how he's "still crazy about me" and whatnot, but when i looked back up, they were walking out.
who the hell do you think you are?!? i know you know that i'm kind of a big deal, and just because your bff hates me doesn't mean you should be putting on a fucking show just because she's with you. we're not together and despite your continued fantasies, won't be getting back together so why are you continuing to lie about it?
whatever.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
chicago was a complete success.
we didn't spend as much time in the city as any of us had expected, but downer's grove proved to be more exciting than any of us had expected.
yesterday was italian night. lasagna, wine and painting. we ventured out to buy groceries and chianti and i bought yet another outfit at target ((this week only: mengtar is the cutest thing ever)) and matching kicks from payless... also, kicks is double plural because they had a bogo sale.
also, the downer's grove payless salesman is the coolest guy frpm chicago i've ever met. well, guy from chicago that i met in chicago... sure.
after clothes and shoes, we finally made it to the grocery store and home for some fine lasagna and wine and painted MODERN art... well, momx and sx painted random shapes and i made trees which weren't modern at all, but the painting was completely baller and i wanted to take it home.
oh well. cx and i will have a painting reincarnate night immediately followed by a painting hang-a-thon because my walls are bare and my house is a bore.
i woke up to confusing text messages from a seemingly somber jx.
jx said:
do you believe that people can change?
mengtar said:
absolutely.
jx said:
you are radiant and sensational.
sometimes it's nice to hear compliments before you accept your own death via planecrash.
((don't be alarmed, every time i ride a plane, i come into full acceptance that it is my deathday. i assure you, this is not new. i hate planes.))
chicago is my favorite city to fly over. second prettiest skyline in the us. second to minneapolis, of course.
i like being cute in airports and wearing sunglasses because people will assume you are a big deal. i'm glad i shaved my armpits this morning. if i hadn't and someone noticed, it would have devastating effects on my big deal status.
i shaved my armpits this morning. i am a big deal.
i have finished another book by the indespensible kurt vonnegut. timequake. if i had finished the rest of the collection ((working on it)) i might say that it is his best book since his slaughter-house days. i'm glad that now i can discuss it with best friend and the girl from work who is definitely not my friend, but i will talk to her because she just recently finished timequake as well. i'm over it.
homeboy is taking me to the aquarium today. things i want to see at the aquarium:
sea dragons ((because they were on animal planet today as the number two most extreme disguises.))
balluga whale. ((because of the raffi song and because cx said they had a whale.))
cougar ((because i heard they had one, and that is just silly))
speaking of silly, did you know that your eyelashes are just silia? whoa.
also, sharks are neat, but if i get too scared, i will have no use for the swimsuit and loosely-knit over-suit thing i also bought. i mean, i'll wear it someplace eventually, but with little or no purpose.
water = scary. damn you, stephen speilburg!
one thing i continue to find interesting when i travel is that when strangers talk to me, they often ask about my nationality.
uhh... white?
this time i was told i had an interesting accent and asked by a polite businessman if i was from the ukraine. no... minnesota. not even fucking close.
other popular potentials are russia and new york. new york is not a nationality, i understand this. strangers do not. i'm over it.
now i have to wait forever for homeboy to pick my ass up from public. i'm beginning to re-hate being in public. it comes and goes. currently, it is gone.
we didn't spend as much time in the city as any of us had expected, but downer's grove proved to be more exciting than any of us had expected.
yesterday was italian night. lasagna, wine and painting. we ventured out to buy groceries and chianti and i bought yet another outfit at target ((this week only: mengtar is the cutest thing ever)) and matching kicks from payless... also, kicks is double plural because they had a bogo sale.
also, the downer's grove payless salesman is the coolest guy frpm chicago i've ever met. well, guy from chicago that i met in chicago... sure.
after clothes and shoes, we finally made it to the grocery store and home for some fine lasagna and wine and painted MODERN art... well, momx and sx painted random shapes and i made trees which weren't modern at all, but the painting was completely baller and i wanted to take it home.
oh well. cx and i will have a painting reincarnate night immediately followed by a painting hang-a-thon because my walls are bare and my house is a bore.
i woke up to confusing text messages from a seemingly somber jx.
jx said:
do you believe that people can change?
mengtar said:
absolutely.
jx said:
you are radiant and sensational.
sometimes it's nice to hear compliments before you accept your own death via planecrash.
((don't be alarmed, every time i ride a plane, i come into full acceptance that it is my deathday. i assure you, this is not new. i hate planes.))
chicago is my favorite city to fly over. second prettiest skyline in the us. second to minneapolis, of course.
i like being cute in airports and wearing sunglasses because people will assume you are a big deal. i'm glad i shaved my armpits this morning. if i hadn't and someone noticed, it would have devastating effects on my big deal status.
i shaved my armpits this morning. i am a big deal.
i have finished another book by the indespensible kurt vonnegut. timequake. if i had finished the rest of the collection ((working on it)) i might say that it is his best book since his slaughter-house days. i'm glad that now i can discuss it with best friend and the girl from work who is definitely not my friend, but i will talk to her because she just recently finished timequake as well. i'm over it.
homeboy is taking me to the aquarium today. things i want to see at the aquarium:
sea dragons ((because they were on animal planet today as the number two most extreme disguises.))
balluga whale. ((because of the raffi song and because cx said they had a whale.))
cougar ((because i heard they had one, and that is just silly))
speaking of silly, did you know that your eyelashes are just silia? whoa.
also, sharks are neat, but if i get too scared, i will have no use for the swimsuit and loosely-knit over-suit thing i also bought. i mean, i'll wear it someplace eventually, but with little or no purpose.
water = scary. damn you, stephen speilburg!
one thing i continue to find interesting when i travel is that when strangers talk to me, they often ask about my nationality.
uhh... white?
this time i was told i had an interesting accent and asked by a polite businessman if i was from the ukraine. no... minnesota. not even fucking close.
other popular potentials are russia and new york. new york is not a nationality, i understand this. strangers do not. i'm over it.
now i have to wait forever for homeboy to pick my ass up from public. i'm beginning to re-hate being in public. it comes and goes. currently, it is gone.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
as many of you may know, some time ago mengtar was engaged to a certain jx for just under a year. however, three months after she moved her ass across the country for this wonderful specimen, he started fucking a certain laura derousselle ((more commonly known as cunt-face-slut-bitch))... IN DECEMBER!
moving on...
when mengtar discovered that their relationship wasn't being flushed because of their own problems but because jx is a lying whore-monger, she went down an epic spiral of depression, drug-use, anxiety and alcoholism that she hasn't started pulling herself from until the last couple months.
mengtar dropped out of school. she drank til her kidneys bled. she lost 30 lbs. in anxiety-attack vomiting. she was unable to sleep by herself. she passed out inside petco. she fucked a lot of stupid people. she pushed everyone away.
and then they started a relationship.
cue transformation into angry-mengtar. picture the hulk... only an anxious alcoholic.
a few aspects have improved. mengtar drinks less. she eats and doesn't throw up. she stay conscious. she can sleep by herself at times. and though the wall is intact, she opens the door for a couple friends on occasion. ((ballers only!))
and now for the good part... ((man, i love facebook))
December 10:
Laura is going to be in Denton this weekend.
December 14:
Laura is in Denton being with Jx.
December 17:
Laura is back home until the next time she goes up to Denton.
December 18:
Laura is debating the options left open to her.
December 19:
Laura has decided that she hates you.
Laura hates you so much right now that she shakes uncontrollably and vomits when she thinks about you.
get over yourself. you actually thought it was going to work? seriously?!?
anyway, if you need me, kx and i are going to addison to do some joy-drinking. i'll be the one laughing uncontrollably at the predictability and lack of irony of the situation you put yourself in.
also, laura derousselle, fuck you.
ps. while you were together, i fucked him out of the vengeance i had for you.
moving on...
when mengtar discovered that their relationship wasn't being flushed because of their own problems but because jx is a lying whore-monger, she went down an epic spiral of depression, drug-use, anxiety and alcoholism that she hasn't started pulling herself from until the last couple months.
mengtar dropped out of school. she drank til her kidneys bled. she lost 30 lbs. in anxiety-attack vomiting. she was unable to sleep by herself. she passed out inside petco. she fucked a lot of stupid people. she pushed everyone away.
and then they started a relationship.
cue transformation into angry-mengtar. picture the hulk... only an anxious alcoholic.
a few aspects have improved. mengtar drinks less. she eats and doesn't throw up. she stay conscious. she can sleep by herself at times. and though the wall is intact, she opens the door for a couple friends on occasion. ((ballers only!))
and now for the good part... ((man, i love facebook))
December 10:
Laura is going to be in Denton this weekend.
December 14:
Laura is in Denton being with Jx.
December 17:
Laura is back home until the next time she goes up to Denton.
December 18:
Laura is debating the options left open to her.
December 19:
Laura has decided that she hates you.
Laura hates you so much right now that she shakes uncontrollably and vomits when she thinks about you.
get over yourself. you actually thought it was going to work? seriously?!?
anyway, if you need me, kx and i are going to addison to do some joy-drinking. i'll be the one laughing uncontrollably at the predictability and lack of irony of the situation you put yourself in.
also, laura derousselle, fuck you.
ps. while you were together, i fucked him out of the vengeance i had for you.
Friday, December 14, 2007
so i got home from work and slept like a mofo and woke up crazy-happy for no reason at all... other than that i had finally gotten some sleep... which, if i'm not mistaken, is definitely a reason... fuck you.
except for the first few minutes ((5.27p)) where i ran through the house three-quarters-dazed thinking i had to be at work at 5.30... i'm awkward.
then cx and i played some yankee card games ((cribbage... and i won)) and gossipped about how everyone and their mothers are breaking up... okay... so actually only two couples... one is sad. the other made me laugh pretty hard... could have said something. didn't. whatever. as you soon as you decide to stop being fucking retarded about everything and using your fucking head once in a while, i would happy to be a part of your life. you know what the right decisions are. and you know that they're not that hard to make. it's about time that you stop being so fucking selfish about all of them and just fucking start making them.
i miss scottie raveling. for some reason i was thinking about him today and remembered him recommending the movie run lola run back in the day. i almost watched it tonight. didn't. i'm glad i could tell you that.
also, what am i supposed to say to that?
except for the first few minutes ((5.27p)) where i ran through the house three-quarters-dazed thinking i had to be at work at 5.30... i'm awkward.
then cx and i played some yankee card games ((cribbage... and i won)) and gossipped about how everyone and their mothers are breaking up... okay... so actually only two couples... one is sad. the other made me laugh pretty hard... could have said something. didn't. whatever. as you soon as you decide to stop being fucking retarded about everything and using your fucking head once in a while, i would happy to be a part of your life. you know what the right decisions are. and you know that they're not that hard to make. it's about time that you stop being so fucking selfish about all of them and just fucking start making them.
i miss scottie raveling. for some reason i was thinking about him today and remembered him recommending the movie run lola run back in the day. i almost watched it tonight. didn't. i'm glad i could tell you that.
also, what am i supposed to say to that?
Monday, December 10, 2007
one year ago today...
tonight was a night of nights.
first, I read my post from drunk last night. wowsers. I don't even know.
I worked. whatever.
John and I drove to Dallas to watch Austin Ford's band play in some Battle of the Bands. The first band was this crazy metal trip. The drummer had a small tom covered with yellow zebra-print fabric. They all wore stone-washed jeans. ((not metal)) and polo shirts. ((also less-than-metal)) they had 2 singers ((well... screamers)) a drummer and a keyboard player. the keyboard player was my favorite. he looked like he was 12 and was wearing a backpack. occasionaly he would also sing, but it was super highpitched and Austin and I would look at eachother and laugh ultra-hysterical-like every time. It was great.
After them, we had to leave because John found out that it is his dad's birthday and he is in a play.
I felt really bad that John had spent much money on gas, parking, admission and dinner and we couldn't stay to see Austin's band. and the fact that we had to ditch Austin. I hope they still did well without me getting all loud and drunknoxiuos.
so we had to come back to Denton. His dad's play was actually a Madrigal Dinner. He was the "fool" ((court jester)) He did very well. He has a good voice and is a very animated actor. This was the first time I had seen him act, and maybe the first time I saw a REAL smile on his face, even though it was still an acting-smile.. Word.
Apparently I offended him later. We came back to his parents' house afterwards to watch the rest of the Cowboys-Saints game. The Saints were ahead by quite a bit and his dad was being super crabby-pants about TO dropping and shit. ((understandably, sounds like my dad when he watched Culpepper after his prime season. notice how season was singular.)) whatever. I said some things about the game, nothing against the Cowboys and apparently they were taken offensive and I didn't get a goodbye hug.
Whatever.
I understand that John was raised under the rule of elders. However, I hate the feeling that his dad is always talking down to me. I have respect for my elders,
however, just because 21 is young doesn't mean that I don't have an opinion or that I should have to bite my tongue any more than anyone else.
I wish I had been more drunk.
Frustrating.
Oh yeah, John bought me a stapler too.
tonight was a night of nights.
first, I read my post from drunk last night. wowsers. I don't even know.
I worked. whatever.
John and I drove to Dallas to watch Austin Ford's band play in some Battle of the Bands. The first band was this crazy metal trip. The drummer had a small tom covered with yellow zebra-print fabric. They all wore stone-washed jeans. ((not metal)) and polo shirts. ((also less-than-metal)) they had 2 singers ((well... screamers)) a drummer and a keyboard player. the keyboard player was my favorite. he looked like he was 12 and was wearing a backpack. occasionaly he would also sing, but it was super highpitched and Austin and I would look at eachother and laugh ultra-hysterical-like every time. It was great.
After them, we had to leave because John found out that it is his dad's birthday and he is in a play.
I felt really bad that John had spent much money on gas, parking, admission and dinner and we couldn't stay to see Austin's band. and the fact that we had to ditch Austin. I hope they still did well without me getting all loud and drunknoxiuos.
so we had to come back to Denton. His dad's play was actually a Madrigal Dinner. He was the "fool" ((court jester)) He did very well. He has a good voice and is a very animated actor. This was the first time I had seen him act, and maybe the first time I saw a REAL smile on his face, even though it was still an acting-smile.. Word.
Apparently I offended him later. We came back to his parents' house afterwards to watch the rest of the Cowboys-Saints game. The Saints were ahead by quite a bit and his dad was being super crabby-pants about TO dropping and shit. ((understandably, sounds like my dad when he watched Culpepper after his prime season. notice how season was singular.)) whatever. I said some things about the game, nothing against the Cowboys and apparently they were taken offensive and I didn't get a goodbye hug.
Whatever.
I understand that John was raised under the rule of elders. However, I hate the feeling that his dad is always talking down to me. I have respect for my elders,
however, just because 21 is young doesn't mean that I don't have an opinion or that I should have to bite my tongue any more than anyone else.I wish I had been more drunk.
Frustrating.
Oh yeah, John bought me a stapler too.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
ONE YEAR AGO TODAY:
OJ Simpson wrote a book.
"If I did it, here's how it happened"
Also known as "Here's how it happened"
wow. just wow.
I want it soooo bad.
Also, my least-favorite boss at Black Eyed Pea, Barbara, is totally his cousin.
No joke.
whoa.
The bartender at the Black Eyed Pea ((Shaun)) told me that he used to live in Sartell, MN. ((which is about 5 miles from my house in Rice for all of you out-of-staters))
When he asked me if Rick's Cafe was still around, I knew he was legit.
I saw the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale, last night. It was great.
Don't worry, I'm not going to give anything away, but if you watch it, the chase scene in the beginning is INCREDIBLE. Apparently it's this new style of martial arts shit with your feet. I don't know. Whatever.
But Bond is SUCH a good dresser. Damn. And I'm not just talking about his tux or
anything. I was thinking that through the whole movie. and his eyes are superstar blue, which is cool. and he totally wore the 2006 Blue Stars Pit booty shorts in the beach scene.
AND, of course, google images doesn't have any full-outfit shots. Just head shots and busts.
Then after we got out, John totally asked me to dress him up all James Bond Stylee. ((yes!!!!!!))
I had a dream that Oprah's friend Gale died and she wanted a new best friend and she picked me. It was cool. She gave me a bunch of money and I got to play with her dogs and she MADE me a diamond ring. Also, my blog became part of O-magazine and I got to talk about things on her Oprah and Friends XM radio channel. Also, Buctrose was there and Oprah came to all of my drum corps shows. Buctrose hit on Oprah and I was jealous because I wanted her all to myself.
OJ Simpson wrote a book.
"If I did it, here's how it happened"
Also known as "Here's how it happened"
wow. just wow.
I want it soooo bad.
Also, my least-favorite boss at Black Eyed Pea, Barbara, is totally his cousin.
No joke.
whoa.
The bartender at the Black Eyed Pea ((Shaun)) told me that he used to live in Sartell, MN. ((which is about 5 miles from my house in Rice for all of you out-of-staters))
When he asked me if Rick's Cafe was still around, I knew he was legit.
I saw the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale, last night. It was great.
Don't worry, I'm not going to give anything away, but if you watch it, the chase scene in the beginning is INCREDIBLE. Apparently it's this new style of martial arts shit with your feet. I don't know. Whatever.
But Bond is SUCH a good dresser. Damn. And I'm not just talking about his tux or
anything. I was thinking that through the whole movie. and his eyes are superstar blue, which is cool. and he totally wore the 2006 Blue Stars Pit booty shorts in the beach scene.AND, of course, google images doesn't have any full-outfit shots. Just head shots and busts.
Then after we got out, John totally asked me to dress him up all James Bond Stylee. ((yes!!!!!!))
I had a dream that Oprah's friend Gale died and she wanted a new best friend and she picked me. It was cool. She gave me a bunch of money and I got to play with her dogs and she MADE me a diamond ring. Also, my blog became part of O-magazine and I got to talk about things on her Oprah and Friends XM radio channel. Also, Buctrose was there and Oprah came to all of my drum corps shows. Buctrose hit on Oprah and I was jealous because I wanted her all to myself.
Friday, November 16, 2007
broadcasting live from the lobby of the quality inn of san antonio!!!
traffic in austin = suck.
chic-fil-a was better than last time. i guess i will groan less when i have to go.
i found my scarf and haven't really taken it off except for sleeping and driving.
also, he has my adidas gym bag. i didn't realize it until i wanted to go the gym. that was enough to unmotivate me. ((but remember, it doesn't start til we're out of faux-giving leftovers))
i guess i'll go back to my hotel room and drink beer and come back with something more interesting to talk about other than how cute i'm going to look tomorrow all dressed up and such... i mean... fuck skirts!
homeboy is at a tool concert ((ridiculous jealous)) and cx is here in SA with me and we listened to this crazy-amazing string orchestra playing tool songs. no idea what they're called or anything, but fucking great. holy-goosebumps, batman.
nothing photoworthy as of yet.
i hope this was the biggest disappointment of your day.
traffic in austin = suck.
chic-fil-a was better than last time. i guess i will groan less when i have to go.
i found my scarf and haven't really taken it off except for sleeping and driving.
also, he has my adidas gym bag. i didn't realize it until i wanted to go the gym. that was enough to unmotivate me. ((but remember, it doesn't start til we're out of faux-giving leftovers))
i guess i'll go back to my hotel room and drink beer and come back with something more interesting to talk about other than how cute i'm going to look tomorrow all dressed up and such... i mean... fuck skirts!
homeboy is at a tool concert ((ridiculous jealous)) and cx is here in SA with me and we listened to this crazy-amazing string orchestra playing tool songs. no idea what they're called or anything, but fucking great. holy-goosebumps, batman.
nothing photoworthy as of yet.
i hope this was the biggest disappointment of your day.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
so blogging is new to me, but i thought i would give it a shot...
so i'm mengtar and i have a blog now. i will give you limited information about myself and too much information about everyone i sleep with and hang out with and make my friends feel awkward or guilty or whichever way i decide to manipulate my stories.
also, there is no reading or glancing as i blog. rule number one of mengtar's blog.
also, this is a live broadcast from mike's laptop at jupiter house.
30 days of night is a quality film the first time you see it. however, the second time you see it, your friends will be shadey and then later decide to be okay, but not really.
then you will get a text message from someone you hate and you will throw your phone ever-so-violently and it will be caught by a ninja. also, this ninja on facebook calls himself a pirate, but that is a lie.
any questions? moving on.
also, i may have discovered the root problem of my growing angst as of late. i haven't gotten any in over a month. this tension is driving me pretty crazy.
homeboys, work on that.
also, blue balls fart and fly.
done and done.
so i'm mengtar and i have a blog now. i will give you limited information about myself and too much information about everyone i sleep with and hang out with and make my friends feel awkward or guilty or whichever way i decide to manipulate my stories.
also, there is no reading or glancing as i blog. rule number one of mengtar's blog.
also, this is a live broadcast from mike's laptop at jupiter house.30 days of night is a quality film the first time you see it. however, the second time you see it, your friends will be shadey and then later decide to be okay, but not really.
then you will get a text message from someone you hate and you will throw your phone ever-so-violently and it will be caught by a ninja. also, this ninja on facebook calls himself a pirate, but that is a lie.
any questions? moving on.
also, i may have discovered the root problem of my growing angst as of late. i haven't gotten any in over a month. this tension is driving me pretty crazy.
homeboys, work on that.
also, blue balls fart and fly.
done and done.
Friday, October 26, 2007
i find jupiter's new curly-haired, middle-aged regular and his trendy crew of college nothings zero-degrees shy of obnoxious. also, the braves suck. remember 1991? that is all.
the kharma of my shadey character has caught up with me this week. all obligations have fallen through.
i hate it that listening track 16 and watching grey's anatomy once in forever brings it all back and leaves me flooded with feelings of anger and inadequacy. yet completely empty.
tuesday the 6th is faux-giving.
returning coke habits would make me feel like less of an insomniac. tonight i only seek comfort and dependency. but not chemical.
clara and whoever honestyboxed me ((yes, i acknowledge my complete losery for referencing facebook applications in my blog)), i started writing my book. maybe i should scratch everything and work on an english/journalism degree.
there is something about watching mike play that makes me feel jealous or envious. i haven't decided which. he refuses to give up on his musical dreams that i feel have already passed me by. although i've been handed almost every building block opportunity i could have asked for, i have ammounted to nothing more than an og waitress with non-aspiring dreams of greatness. i deserve this life i live, only barely motivated to change.
i think this weekend will determine a lot.
i met tonight's jupiter barista at the loophole 2 weeks ago. the night i ran into kayla.
it will be days at least before the sub-38 degree cold hits my lungs and reminds me of every time i stepped outside for 20 years. i can't wait to flood my memory though i'm sure it will be followed by feelings of distaste for my southern entrapment.
there is something about sitting outside a crowded coffee shop by myself at 3am that makes me emo. but decidedly so, i should have kept my earmuffs yesterday. although, i wouldn't have this problem at all if i'd have gotten my DC hat from him months ago. but alas, she is in town with him for the weekend. so i will proceed with dangerous levels of caution every time i step into public. if only jack bauer was for hire.
also, that is the first joke of the blog. be ashamed if you smiled earlier. i hate you.
my completely unfunded vacation from the mundane, ordinary and monotony of life is fast-approaching, and my need for it grows exponentially.
i waited on the band director for ryan high. he marched phantom regiment and roomed with ray vasquez long ago before he was dr. ray vasquez. also, he left me five on a sixty. fuck them both. that is all.
short interruptions from chico's broken english story of bar rumbles and unfaithful girlfriends was appreciated. he took great interest in my story. then red kicked him out. i said thank you, but didn't mean it. i enjoy conversing with strangers. everyone has a story. they should be shared. i wish i was here alone last night.
instead, i fell asleep during the first x-men for the pluralth time. but it is a good movie. entertaining with little cinematic merit. my sleep is non-movie-discriminatory. i promise.
also, i will create whatever words i damn well please. get over yourself.
goal for the month: pay shit early and have money left over so i seem less financially desperate when my mom comes.
i haven't decided if i should act completely on emotion or logic. this middle-ground is providing less utility than hoped.
why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to maximize his utility.
haha, i should reread naked economics and start a xmas list. it would consist of the needs that will make me happy. like work shoes from that one place in lewisville or highland village or whatever.
on my way back from taking my lactose-intolerant-but-had-alfredo-sauce-at-lunch-poop i was stopped by homeslice with a camera. he was a jeremy or a david. he said "well aren't you dressed like the cutest thing ever." he took three shots and gave me a pat on the head on his way out. i'm glad my bedhead was appreciated even post-hood-removal. matted bedhead. my new look. whatever. he said he would contact me via my blog but after reading this post, that is unlikely. i don't mind.
i also want a laptop.
your apology last night took me by surprise. maybe i was standoffish so you thought i needed it. but the way you brushed off my inquisition made me anxious for the rest of the night. but i know it didn't show.
reading a madman dreams of turing machines requires listening to 311's evolution for at least the first 100 pages.
after six near-miss auto-collisions today, i think kharma is sending me a warning. point taken.
count the hyphens and made-up words in this post. i dare you.
the kharma of my shadey character has caught up with me this week. all obligations have fallen through.
i hate it that listening track 16 and watching grey's anatomy once in forever brings it all back and leaves me flooded with feelings of anger and inadequacy. yet completely empty.
tuesday the 6th is faux-giving.
returning coke habits would make me feel like less of an insomniac. tonight i only seek comfort and dependency. but not chemical.
clara and whoever honestyboxed me ((yes, i acknowledge my complete losery for referencing facebook applications in my blog)), i started writing my book. maybe i should scratch everything and work on an english/journalism degree.
there is something about watching mike play that makes me feel jealous or envious. i haven't decided which. he refuses to give up on his musical dreams that i feel have already passed me by. although i've been handed almost every building block opportunity i could have asked for, i have ammounted to nothing more than an og waitress with non-aspiring dreams of greatness. i deserve this life i live, only barely motivated to change.
i think this weekend will determine a lot.
i met tonight's jupiter barista at the loophole 2 weeks ago. the night i ran into kayla.
it will be days at least before the sub-38 degree cold hits my lungs and reminds me of every time i stepped outside for 20 years. i can't wait to flood my memory though i'm sure it will be followed by feelings of distaste for my southern entrapment.
there is something about sitting outside a crowded coffee shop by myself at 3am that makes me emo. but decidedly so, i should have kept my earmuffs yesterday. although, i wouldn't have this problem at all if i'd have gotten my DC hat from him months ago. but alas, she is in town with him for the weekend. so i will proceed with dangerous levels of caution every time i step into public. if only jack bauer was for hire.
also, that is the first joke of the blog. be ashamed if you smiled earlier. i hate you.
my completely unfunded vacation from the mundane, ordinary and monotony of life is fast-approaching, and my need for it grows exponentially.
i waited on the band director for ryan high. he marched phantom regiment and roomed with ray vasquez long ago before he was dr. ray vasquez. also, he left me five on a sixty. fuck them both. that is all.
short interruptions from chico's broken english story of bar rumbles and unfaithful girlfriends was appreciated. he took great interest in my story. then red kicked him out. i said thank you, but didn't mean it. i enjoy conversing with strangers. everyone has a story. they should be shared. i wish i was here alone last night.
instead, i fell asleep during the first x-men for the pluralth time. but it is a good movie. entertaining with little cinematic merit. my sleep is non-movie-discriminatory. i promise.
also, i will create whatever words i damn well please. get over yourself.
goal for the month: pay shit early and have money left over so i seem less financially desperate when my mom comes.
i haven't decided if i should act completely on emotion or logic. this middle-ground is providing less utility than hoped.
why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to maximize his utility.
haha, i should reread naked economics and start a xmas list. it would consist of the needs that will make me happy. like work shoes from that one place in lewisville or highland village or whatever.
on my way back from taking my lactose-intolerant-but-had-alfredo-sauce-at-lunch-poop i was stopped by homeslice with a camera. he was a jeremy or a david. he said "well aren't you dressed like the cutest thing ever." he took three shots and gave me a pat on the head on his way out. i'm glad my bedhead was appreciated even post-hood-removal. matted bedhead. my new look. whatever. he said he would contact me via my blog but after reading this post, that is unlikely. i don't mind.
i also want a laptop.
your apology last night took me by surprise. maybe i was standoffish so you thought i needed it. but the way you brushed off my inquisition made me anxious for the rest of the night. but i know it didn't show.
reading a madman dreams of turing machines requires listening to 311's evolution for at least the first 100 pages.
after six near-miss auto-collisions today, i think kharma is sending me a warning. point taken.
count the hyphens and made-up words in this post. i dare you.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
it drives me crazy that months ago i tried everything to make you realize that you were making the biggest mistake. it's not until now that you're realizing it too. and i've completely lost interest.
::le sigh::
my computer has a 30G hard drive. it is full. i deleted everything i don't use ((with the exception of music and photos)) and it is still full. i can't even defrag because it requires 15% free space and i only have 2%. i have a few cds to import to my ipod but they won't fit on my computer.
sad panda.
maybe it's because i have so many songs i don't listen to and pictures of things like grasshoppers in my car...
speaking of grasshoppers in my car... this is andrew.
and this is andrew in the shadows of the night. be careful. he packs his guns in the club if they shrug and them thugs mean mug ya... he's a gangsta.
cyborgs are humans with robotic parts, and androids are robots with human characteristics. any questions? moving on.
post-bar-waffle-house i got a call from my ol homie brent to smoke out. twas an adventure of the most grand proportions. not really. i don't really remember much other than giggling and watching a movie with a robot. the robot was neither a cyborg nor an android. i even got woken up with a hearty breakfast of engineered chickens. the kfc chickens may have been androids. but then i realized that i was supposed to be in court for my speeding ticket and had to leave with only one sock because my socks disappear at brent's house. i saved some money and will hopefully be able to make another payment to barton building and loan.
this week, mike and i will venture to the great unknown of the attic to confront
critters about noise complaints and their unpaid rent. i hope that it is followed by a blog post full of photos of critters and uninjured people.
::le sigh::
my computer has a 30G hard drive. it is full. i deleted everything i don't use ((with the exception of music and photos)) and it is still full. i can't even defrag because it requires 15% free space and i only have 2%. i have a few cds to import to my ipod but they won't fit on my computer.
sad panda.
maybe it's because i have so many songs i don't listen to and pictures of things like grasshoppers in my car...
speaking of grasshoppers in my car... this is andrew.
and this is andrew in the shadows of the night. be careful. he packs his guns in the club if they shrug and them thugs mean mug ya... he's a gangsta.
cyborgs are humans with robotic parts, and androids are robots with human characteristics. any questions? moving on.
post-bar-waffle-house i got a call from my ol homie brent to smoke out. twas an adventure of the most grand proportions. not really. i don't really remember much other than giggling and watching a movie with a robot. the robot was neither a cyborg nor an android. i even got woken up with a hearty breakfast of engineered chickens. the kfc chickens may have been androids. but then i realized that i was supposed to be in court for my speeding ticket and had to leave with only one sock because my socks disappear at brent's house. i saved some money and will hopefully be able to make another payment to barton building and loan.
this week, mike and i will venture to the great unknown of the attic to confront
critters about noise complaints and their unpaid rent. i hope that it is followed by a blog post full of photos of critters and uninjured people.
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