new game plan... again...

instead of eating... ever... i'll just put all of those funds and effort towards not eating and photo shoots with merkley??? when i go out to cali.

and then give them to px.

but i can still spend money on coffee from jupiter house, wine, liquor, and cigarettes... and the import beer of the night on tuesdays at lou's... and maybe the occasional bran muffin...

but that's it!

and i mean business!

((balls))

i bet if i consumed half as much water as i consume red wine, tonight's run would have been half as painful...

i'm not sure if that sentence is properly structured or if it means i should consume more water or less wine.

i'm over it.

px, you will be HAPPY to know that a ROAD TRIP is being planned to visit SO-CAL so i can see a CERTAIN SOMEONE!!!! i'll keep you updated if you stop being a little cunt about not sending you nudie photos. ((love you))

also... if anyone catches any sweet camera deals/sales/whathaveyous be sure to let me know so i can send some nudie photos to a certain little cunt. ((still love you))

also, let's reminisce.










((i miss pictures))

mengtar the saved: master of the guilt-trip blog!

((love you, man))

you're right, and you have every right to be upset that i'm unable to see you play in austin. i understand that this tour is a big deal for you. i would love to be there and to finally see you again. it is long overdue.

and you were right about homeboy. i don't know why i continue to put myself into a situation that makes me feel increasingly uncomfortable. and i don't know why you would compare the situations.

but you can't choose my priorities for me. i hold your friendship in high regard, but i also need to be sure i'm taking the correct steps to better myself. i've wasted plenty of time out of school and now know that it is now something i should be taking much more seriously.

i'm extremely proud of you. and not in the "keep in contact with him so you can have a famous friend" sort of way. i'm glad that you're enjoying your life and the payoff of your hard work.

i don't ask to hear your stories so i can live vicariously through you and see what life is like being an LA rockstar. i enjoy hearing that you're enjoying and taking pride in what you do.

and you don't have a right to accuse me of fabricating reasons i'm unable to visit LA or austin. i've tried. and i'm still trying. i've held this in higher regard than you think.

and if you're truly done "wasting your time on me", it's been nice. apparently your standards are higher than what i can offer at this time.

((i guess i just need better friends))

no, i don't know how to make the video stop playing!

hung.

i still felt sick and mopey last night and was supposed to go to the blue condition show at the door.

bailed.

then cxpx called to ask some stupid question...

cxpx said:

so what are you doing tonight?

mengtar said:

i don't know. probably just stay home and rest a bit.

cxpx said:

aww... are you throwing up?

mengtar said:

no.

cxpx said:

do you have a fever?

mengtar said:

no.

cxpx said:

then wipe the blood off your vagina and go get something to drink!

well worth it.

the rest of the night was NOT worth it.

my nipple ring fell out in my sleep and now my boobie looks naked. i found the bar but because it was out all night, i can't fit it back in.

FUCK! i only slept like 4 hours! how does that shit heal up so damn fast!?!? i hope rx is still doing piercings so i can get this fixed. FUCK!

FUCK!

((fuck))

go px!

i woke up scraped and bruised from last night's wrestling match over my camera.




since i can no longer afford my trip to LA, px says i owe him big time. i decided to repay my debts to him the only way i know... explicit photos.

the importance of the privacy of these photos is mild. px enjoys the fact that he is the only one that gets to see them, but if someone were to glance at one or two, i can't say i'd care.

however, there is a possibility that these photos were taken in the bed of the homeboy trying to wrestle the camera from me. so the importance of the privacy of these photos from him is much higher.

then upon leaving homeboy's place, i was attacked by this guy.



had to drive home with a swollen mound on my back so i could ice it for an hour to get the stinger out. apparently taking nudie pics of yourself in someone else's bed with no intentions of showing them later is just bad kharma. bitches.

is this even street legal?



last night was big momma and little daddy's drag show at the boiler room. presenting the same gay 30-somethings doing the same christina aguilera songs with a better girlish figure than me.

jx showed up, fresh from 80's night at hailey's, with less than fresh clothing... note the sweat lines. ((also, FUCK 80's night))




i remember who black mike is! he's the guy that's more into himself than homeboy is that works at the abbey inn! anyway, he was at the drag show last night and he bought me a shot and i was okay with it and he said i was pretty while he walked me to my car and i rolled my eyes because i don't really subscribe to that, but it was a nice gesture and he kissed me and it was nice but i asked him to stop because i don't really subscribe to that either. blah blah blah everything predictable about leaving the bar and that one guy just won't leave you alone but you're too nice or awkward to just say no. but then he said something that actually suprised me.

black mike said:

you're right. i shouldn't be doing that if you're still with that other guy.

mengtar said:

what other guy?

black mike said:

your boyfriend. the dudeboy with the sweatband on.

mengtar said:

whoa.... no no no... where did you get that idea?

black mike said:

last time i saw you out, he told me to back down because the two of you were kind of together...

wow, jx, your shallow levels never cease to amaze me. just wow.

but apparently the feelings from the combination of being less attractive than drag queens and homeboy deciding 3 minutes in that he was just too tired has carried over from last night into my morning. i'd rather not go to work and stay in my room and not let anyone look at me today.

i need a break from the way you make me feel like shit. i'm glad pumpkin head will be here soon.

FUCK! i was )( THIS close to booking my flight until i realized that i'm going to be on the rag that whole weekend. FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!

i'm waiting for px to text me back and give the a-okay for the dates i gave to fly to LA!! ((holy shit, i'm going to LA!)) so i'm busy raiding everyone's myspace pages and laughing at their losery.



cx pointed out in a picture from a few years ago how my face looked "uhh... rounder..." ha yes... so here is more of me and my former roundness. not that i am unrounded now, just less round.

Being goofy


also, i believe that he could single-handedly take down the dallas ((un-north)) stars... in a fist fight anyway.



i miss my friends' music and awesome shows in minnesota. for some reason, these silly texans haven't figured out that i'm kind of a big deal.



also, who's coming to the next crashsight show with me? no joke, this video kind of sucks... way flat and obnoxiously articulate. but i love watching them. fuck yourself.



i couldn't help but laugh through.... almost all of this. ((i miss it))

mengtar said:

then he ever-so-slowly got out of the car all kinds of confused and said "what the fuck are you doing in addison?"

px said:

That's soooo hot, I can see why u pork him. he's quality.

also, i am now taking applications for attractive females in LA to join the team of none in px's love life.

in other news, everyone is either going to prison or overdosing on drugs. i guess it's time i pick up some habits or commit some felonies so we can still hang out.

i quit.

special news break: tune in monday to see px drum with ray j on jay leno.

fuck. yes.

yesterday i drove forever away through farmland and cattle ranches to sherman, tx for og ct training.

waste. of. time.

i saw eight dead cats and a coyote. also, mckinney smells like rotten potatoes.

but they're going to pay me well and i got $.49/mile reimbursement ((which ended up being seventyish dollars. i can roll with that.

but i had to sit in a room with strangers ((eww)) that were overly excited about everything og. i was tired and less than thrilled.

speaking of tired, i think it's about time for a nap. yep.

pictures later because my camera is downstairs and my bed is here.

go px!

PEEECTURES!!




mengtar and a certain lx admired for his dancing, driving, snow fort demolishing, humor quoting, and baller skills.



we like to paint.




and drink wine.




i did trees.



momx thinks abstract is random shapes and colors that you can pretend to interpret after sharing three bottles of wine with her daughters.



SHARKS! going to the aquarium is quite possibly the best idea that homeboy has ever had... next to buying me a mattress.



px taught drums here. whaddya know!

i made queso with my dad's xmas salsa and a couple slices of american cheese and i took a picture but then i realized it looked like barf.

but i assure you, it was deelish.

today, px learned the difference between being the big balla and just being well-endowed. HA!

thanks px.... ((i guess))

23

we have ROCK BAND! and i'm not going to leave my house forever.

i didn't think i drank that much last night... but apparently i was incapable of driving or closing my bedroom door or at least trying to be quiet while having sex when my roommates are in the next room playing guitar hero or remembering that i had sex at all in the morning or waking up to get to work at 6am or show up to work at all or show up to my lunch shift that i didn't even know i had gotten someone to cover at my other job... completely incapable.

then i tried calling my boss like a bajillion times but his phone doesn't work. balls.

this dude i grew up with in rice, minnesota moved to vegas about a month ago. today he informed me that he is planning on moving to south padre, texas in a week. i got all excited and started planning a trip but then he re-messaged me and said that he decided he was going to move to san diego instead because he broke his hand beating down a mexican in a bar for slapping his wife. the lack of correlation doesn't really surprise me.

also, apparently i have to move to LA and hang out with px if i want to be with the REAL bballas. word.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

px said:
hey
mx said:
hey. what's goin on?
px said:
What's up
mx said:
not much. chillin. doing laundry. being lame. and single. and angry. how've you been, baller?
px said:
Haha baller? Where do u get that from
mx said:
uhh.. well i kind of am one. so i'm licensed to use it in conversation now.
px said:
Haha. Nice. I think this is the first convo I've had with u on here since like 01
mx said:
01?? whatever.
px said:
that's why its funny
mx said:
and i know i talked to you after i moved to texas.
px said:
Yes
mx said:
okay
px said:
U have. R u still there?
mx said:
don't make me feel like a bad friend.
px said:
Well I've prolly im you like 1500 times, but u never respond
mx said:
yeah, i know. that's because i leave my computer thinking i'll come back, but then i remember that i'm supposed to do things. and then i don't come home for 3 days
px said:
So then wouldn't that kinda make u a bad friend if u know? Lol
mx said:
and then i'm like "shit, i missed px again!"
px said:
Riiiight... Ok so give me the run down, what happend
mx said:
uhh, with john?
px said:
Yes
mx said:
do you remember laura derousselle? she played baritone? apparently he had been messing around with her since December...
px said:
Yes!!!! Huuuuge booty, how could I forget
mx said:
you're not helping.
px said:
Oh, sorry... Oops. Waut, like boning?
mx said:
yep
px said:
Wow, she doesn't look like the type, but anyway... So how'd u find out
mx said:
i was on his facebook, actually.
px said:
And.....
mx said:
and i read some of his old messages. well, the reason i did that is because i saw a text msesage from her on his phone. and there was a bunch of stuff. i don't really want to talk about it
px said:
Oh. Ok
mx said:
sorry, this whole thing has been really hard.
px said:
I bet!!!! I'm sorry. That's bogus. So what r u gona do?
mx said:
nothing. what am i supposed to do?
px said:
Move back? Move on? Idk
mx said:
i'm staying
px said:
Oh
mx said:
i like it here
px said:
So what did you do when u found out, what did u say to him?
mx said:
well, i found out like 5 minutes before i was supposed to leave for work so i got to work, and i kept crying and shit, because i'm a girl and that's what we do, and then i went home and got drunk at like 11am and he was out of town for a wgi show and wasn't going to be home until that evening. so i called his dad because i was WASTED. not to rub it in his face that he cheated on me, but just to tell him that he wasn't going to be sleeping at the house that night and that he would probably end up there. in my drunkenness i looked at it as like a courtesy call hold on, i have to pee and check laundry. go ahead and talk
px said:
Umm, I really dnt have anything to say, I'm more or less still listening. I am curious as to what his reaction was
mx said:
he was really angry that everyone found out. not angry at me, just angry.
px said:
Yeah. Wow. Have u talked to him since?
mx said:
yeah. we talk all the time. i still love him.
px said:
Wtf! That's crazy!
mx said:
i mean, it's impossible to go from wanting to marry someone to absolutely hating them. we're not together. and i'm angry about what he did. and i'm angry at him. but i still love him.
px said:
Yeah. Nice facebook pic btw
mx said:
ha, yours too. so profesional. ha
px said:
No, really.... I'm not bn funny
mx said:
i know, but i am
px said:
Ugh! Booo I like that pic!
mx said:
what?!? well thank you. i appreciate the complement.
px said:
I think I look handsome. And my eyes look dreamy
mx said:
yeah, i'm pretty sure i was drunk in that picture. because i think it's my cousin's wedding.
px said:
But whatever, u can hate on my pic if u want too... I like it
mx said:
i said i liked it!
px said:
U said u were bn sarcastic
mx said:
no. i meant that i liked your picture. i was just laughing at the idea of you being professional
px said:
Have oh. Have you had sex with anyone else since? Oh, whatever, I am professional!
mx said:
no. no one else. i wanted to. came close.
px said:
Why
mx said:
because i want to be a bitch. but... i can't
px said:
Y can't u
mx said:
because i love him! i would probably start crying or have an anxiety attack or something
px said:
Wow. That's heavy. You're such a girl
mx said:
i know... and i wasn't until i met him
px said:
Haha
mx said:
seriously, i was a crazy bitch who just like suckin dick and hated emotional attachments to anything
px said:
I can't imagine going from engaged to single
mx said:
yeah, it's a mind-fuck. and i've never had anxiety problems before this... but i had to go to the doctor and get put on meds because i kept having anxiety attacks and throwing up and shit. i passed out at petco like a week and a half ago so now i have to buy the crickets that my frog eats at petsmart. even though it's on the opposite side of town
px said:
Wow!
mx said:
yeah. this shit fucked me up
px said:
I'm sure. And that's a crazy thing to say, (u just liked to suck dick) Who says that!!?? Lol
mx said:
i did!!! haha i mean, i still do... but just his. i mean, i don't
px said:
Ha
mx said:
but i still like to
px said:
Ha!!!!
mx said:
well... shutup
px said:
I got ya
mx said:
okay, good
px said:
What's the joy in sucking dick for a girl anyway
mx said:
the same it is for a guy eating out some pussy. being able to give the other person so much pleasure is a major turn on
px said:
Ahh ok. Ic. That's true. It is a turn on..... Especially when they get off
mx said:
exactly
px said:
I don't know if I've met a wilder person
mx said:
i'm not wild. i'm just open. and i like what feels good
px said:
Well, I mean with a wilder life story
mx said:
haha
px said:
And that is as open. ...and what feels good?
mx said:
drugs. drinking. sex. love... but i kind of got fucked over in that department.
px said:
What feels good isn't what always is good for u
mx said:
i know. and that's why i don't do drugs anymore. except pot. but one step at a time
px said:
Good. Hable me.
mx said:
hable?
px said:
It means blow
mx said:
ha! that's how they say it in the hood?
px said:
Jk, it means talk to me in spanish. Lol! No!
mx said:
but in spanish isn't it one word because it's a command? hableme?
px said:
Maybe
mx said:
i don't know
px said:
Sure
mx said:
haha that's how the ballers ball