sometimes life's biggest challenge is making it through the night...

without pooping your pants.

i've been home for twenty minutes and have already pooped and peed TWICE!

and we're not talking about that trickle-peeing like when you have a urinary tract infection... these have been healthy-portioned bowel movements.

UGH! every period is like i'm 14 all over again.

but i have to run so i have time to eat and shower and then drink an import and then get some close-encounters with titties and possibly some venereal diseases with the boys.

SWEET!

so i've been eating bran muffins for a while now. i really like them. and pooping.

so i was pooping at work. in the handicapped stall, because it's roomier. i like to refer to it as the luxury stall.

and i'm mid-poop when i hear a mom and her kid walk in.

and i notice that i didn't lock the door.

and the door is out of reach.

and i didn't want anything to drip inside my pants because... ew.

i panicked.

luckily, they picked the two other stalls.

also, i need soccer shoes. and a nap.

flash update!

i just pooped what looked to be a stillborn bunny. did i eat a rabbit or was something molding in my bowels?

ew.

last night's early bedtime and late cuddling was the perfect ending to a miserable day of faux-giving recovery. even though i had to wake up hella early.

((here's your photo, bitch))



or



or



i'm toying with the idea of becoming a sex mediator. one who mediates a couple as they discuss their sexual frustrations.

is that a real job? no joke.

cx comes to texas tomorrow and we go to san antonio for the weekend! holy excited batman!



mengtar was perxactly schwasted.

i was about to make a funny joke but my attic critter is squeaking and is plural.

also, mengtar + antibiotics = pooplor.