too much drinking went on in the past week for me to remember most things... but some of the photographs reminded me...



jupiter house is no longer open 24hrs. what. the. fuck. what am i supposed to be antisocial at HOME?!?



my frogs were cute with me one night. they make me so happy. wait... where did snowflake go??



okay, back to cute.



momx visited for five days of drunken amazing times.



we played pool at the boiler room and i apparently introduced momx to everyone and didn't learn about it until last night when everyone asked where she was and said she was awesome. she is awesome.




while we were playing pool i remember some weird lawyer talking to us, and i wasn't sure if he was hitting on me or my mom but then his friend was like "hey, man, have you called your wife back yet?" and we laughed at him.



we shopped and i bought TWO dresses and we tried to find accessories even but we couldn't so i bought a hat instead.




((hey, sx, remember these???))



ALL junk stores should have junk jewelry for junk prices.



i got caught looking at myself when someone pointed out the sign that says "only you can stop narcissism."






this dress is totally julia roberts in pretty woman when the guy that plays george kostanza totally calls her out for being a hooker at the polo game or horse races or whatever. i didn't buy it.




this dress is the happiest dress in the world. but weird because my boobs are too big. my gut fits into it just fine, but i have to push my boobs in to zip the back. i totally bought it.



momx did not buy that dress. ((le sigh of relief))




awww



this building is in austin i think and there is one like it in minneapolis and i think mary tyler moore was filmed there or something i heard once... we call it "ghetto in the sky". if they released a videogame that took place inside ghetto in the sky, i would totally play it.






dci san antonio regional.

go blue team!

i'll rant about that later.



also, we drank and painted.

an evening in the life of being completely awesome:



((count it))



flying scorpions. invasive species?







::insert clever here::





i'm too buzzed to be clever and too sober to be witty.

le sigh.

sometimes i feel that my blog is actually like i'm writing for a magazine, but the only segment i get is the embarassing stories part of TEEN magazine... and all of the stories are mine... and you're going to rank them on a 5-point star scale system depending on whether or not the situation was mortifying or just awkward.



((don't ask))




we have recently obtained yet ANOTHER new roommate! bx, welcome to my blog. last night cx and her sister were trying to work the dvd player to watch friends, but were using the remote for the vcr that bx has recently contributed.




apparently bx forgot to remove his pornography labeled "dci summer music games" from the vcr before setting it up in our living room. we giggled and watched part of it before he got home. ((side note: there was also a segment where he recorded smallville OVER the porn. he should really be analyzing his priorities here))

yes, i called him out on it.




and now for your baseball update that you never cared about hearing:

the twins are cleaning house with sweeps against the chisox and detroit ((fuck yes)) and are securing their number one spot in the alcd and tied for fourth in all of the american league.




homeboy's mom teaches bellydancing and today they had a halfla ((recital)) at an abandoned missile base in denton. it was built to protect the dfw area from russian attacks during the cold war. ((yes, we researched it))

wow.

i want to live on an abandoned cold war missile base.

i'm a loser and forgot my camera, but will be stealing some kickin pictures from homeboy's camera in a few days ((please))

i fed my frogs and they have yet to find two of the crickets and they won't shutup about it. irritating5000.

the og scheduled me 2 days off in a row! i don't know what i'm going to do with myself, especially because everyone's going to be preparing for finals. maybe i'll finally get around to watching i'm not there ((courtesy of the worse half of j and l)) and i'll watch it 8 times and work on memorizing all of it. i think that would be for the best.



((down another 5 lbs. and one week non-smoking... bballa))

i never looked at that pic very close, i dig it... also does it still define narcissism for you?
--this punk



dear homeboy,
the post was supposed to be sarcastic-dry, not nearly as abrasive as everyone, including you, seemed to take it. the photo only defines narcissism because i like it so much... and because it's the desktop for my laptop... whatever.
love, mengtar

You hold coffee cups with your tits, how can that not be attractive.

dear anonymous,
for the record, it was a dr. pepper for tx.
love, mengtar

mengtar,

this is bx again

you stood me up on the email... what gives? we poopin or what? i have to poop now, and i wish you could watch me.

anywho, with that picture, you have effectively doubled the number of your boobs that i have seen

holla atcha boi some time ok?

your pooping buddy

superdearest bx,
congrats on the boobie doublage. i'm sorry i didn't email you. i actually JUST pooped and for the first time... almost ever... it was a rough one to get out. and like a triple wiper. ew.
love and poop, mengtar

whew, now that that's out of the way... HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEST FRIEND!!!

NACHO SIAM HOUSE!!! ((not funny))

so i met up with homeboy for lunch at siam house. i was greeted by this awesome dude that looked like stephen king minus twenty years ((still older)). he rode the line of being weirdo-central and cooler than balls. he greeted me and cleaned off a booth. post-booth-cleaning he asked "how's this booth?". i thanked him and sat down. then he informed me that it was the perfect booth for a perfect lady. ((hun, i already sat down, you don't have to keep persuading me. i'm already convinced. the motion was appreciated though)) it was pretty fucking good and well priced for my wallet.

after waking up before 9a, i couldn't get back to sleep, so i decided to paint my dollar ivy pot from target. i put on a thousand layers of yellow paint. even though it was 10a, it still didn't feel right painting without a bit to drink. whatever.







damn, looking at pictures, now i KNOW i need a haircut... but i can't really go back to her... how awkward would THAT be?!?

i was feeling a little period crazy and unpredictable this morning so i cancelled on hosting best friend's pirate-ninja birthday party tonight. i didn't want to get too drunk and cause any over-the-phone or in-person confrontations. i felt slightly confrontational this morning.

but once i entered the kitchen, i was greeted by more cuteness in my window.





luckily, best friend quickly replanned a barbecue at mx's place. i was in full attendance after learning there would also be veiwing of LOST! ((fuck yess))







HOWEVER

when i called for directions, mx sliced her hand open while on the phone with me. ((FUCK)) and best friend had to drive her to the emergency room. instead, i drove to jupiter to read for a couple hours to read while mx the trooper got stitched up.

mx has critters.




i finally finished slaughterhouse five. triple hearts for full zelda life... ((loved it)) i started reading player piano ((MORE vonnegutt)) but couldn't focus over all the worker-strikes going on across the street at the courthouse. whatever.

hmmm... other things i did today... per homeboy's recommendation, i went to hobby lobby to check out some picture frames. i got lost... for about ten minutes... i couldn't find the checkout. most. embarrassing. thing.... ever. i swear i had been following the perimeter ((although, i must admit, i got distracted by a few clearance signs along the way...)) but couldn't seem to find it. whatever.