with best friend in jail and rx leaving the og, it's becoming more difficult to work there.




((yep, all clear))




are those birthday titties i see?? why, yes! as a matter of fact they are!



if anyone knows of a kickin position opening somewhere, let me know.





openings in LA and chitown will also be considered.

dear homeboy,
thank you for continuing to be ultra-receptive to my bi-monthly apologies of being a stubborn, overreacting drunken bitch.
love, mengtar.

another night of sorts brought to you by the fantastically stubborn mind of drunklor mengtar. special note: the photos are not from last night and in no way correlate with the story. i will also have you know that it was not my camera and i have no idea to work the settings. get over yourself.

a great night was had at the boiler room in celebration of bballamike's birthday. i helped decorate the cake, and i also accepted free shots.

per usual, after too many drinks ((too few of them being whiskey)) i decided that i was angry ((for probably no reason)). if i am drunk and angry ((again, for probably no reason)), i also usually decide to direct my drunklor anger at homeboy. he's a good sport about it.

i knew that i couldn't drive my prettymobile home, but also refused to get a ride from homeboy. or anyone else, because those people were suggested by homeboy so i was mad ((for probably no reason)) at them by association.







therefore, i'm walking. i live about 4 miles from the square. i'm okay with this.

i start walking home and everyone is calling and texting and apparently made it into a huge ordeal. i pretty much stopped caring.

also, i was cute, but wasn't about to get raped. it looked like i had at least three concealed weapons.

i peed behind a bank. classy.

i angry-walked for a good hour or so with an exceptional level of sass. those hips were dangerous. it was around 3 that i realized that i had no idea where i was.

i got lost.

in denton.

i had been walking and turning, so sure i was homebound, but not stopping to think which way home was. i turned a corner and looked up to see a glowing refuge of familiarity. the wells fargo sign. wait... i'm still on the square!!!

i was defeated and sobering up. i walked back to my car and drove home.

but it doesn't end there. of course not.







homeboy calls to affirm my safety. i'm sober enough to drive, but i'm not sober enough to be rational. that doesn't come until the following afternoon... usually after a stop at jupiter house.

i got home around 4am and decided to discontinue our friendship... again. this usually happens about once a month... and lasts until the following afternoon... usually after a stop at jupiter house.

in true hangoverlor mengtar fashion, i stumbled up to jupiter house this afternoon. i was walking behind four old men and got some catcalls from big momma and little daddy as they drove by. they all turned around to look at me. "it's okay, they're gay." they were not amused.

the radio made me feel angry, so i held imaginary, yet ultra-cool conversations with myself in my car and spilled coffee down my shirt.

i'm the coolest person you know.

((also, i set my webcam to take pictures of my reactions every minute and a half... lucky you))




i missed morneau's homerun in the 10th due to my 45 second ass-explosion. it was pretty intense. 9-8 top of the 10th.

i'm sure you care.



((and you're welcome))



in other news i have neglected to share, best friend got married. however, he's unable to drink anymore at all ever and doesn't really hang out anymore. boo hiss. but go best friend!



joe nathan just replaced jesse crain. joe nathan is our number one relief pitcher, and also number one in relief pitcher hotness. number two in overall hotness, second only to the gorgeously incredible joe mauer.



we're gonna win twins,
we're gonna score!
we're gonna win twins,
watch that baseball soar!
knock out a homerun,
shout a hip-hooray!
cheer for the minnesota twins today!



((9-8 f/10))

special note: this post was written sober, added to after drinking, and finished after sobering up... work with me.

in a fit of awesomeness, i went out with best friend and rx with girlfriends in tow for drinks and dominoes. mostly drinks, but after reviewing the photos this morning, apparently there were some dominoes in there too.

we met up at riprocks to see some soul kitchen. i was digging it more than usual and talked to a stranger in a less-awkward-than-usual fashion.







we drank a little more at cool beans... the whiskey starts... and i'd say that my emotional level is at about a 4.




welcome to best friend's bathroom. also, if you take pictures like these and don't delete then, this is what happens. readers, meet rx.





tx is amazing. i can't wait to sit and chat with her and drink wine and sew and cook and make out... i mean... cook. whatever.





i had no problem finishing this baby off. i heart canadian whiskey.




rx likes to pretend that he's emo. i think he pulls it off.





tx has taken a particular liking to my titties and pretends they look like this...




later, my emotional level increased to about a 9 and rx and tx were about as awesome as physically possible and drove me to their futon and back to my car in the morning... well... late afternoon... i'm over it.

as of today's game, carlos gomez ((swoon)) is the third youngest player in mlb history to hit for the cycle.

did anyone else catch the interview/articles of ozzie kissing major ass on the twinkies? just how we're always fun to watch and the way we play the game and whatnot. nothing i didn't already know. but i agree that gomez's career will definitely be epic. i'm already waiting for this years new spread of topps cards so i can frame him up with my other greats. ((bert blylevin, paul molitor, brad radke, kirby puckett, and of course.... wally the beerman))

tonight was something of a different sort. i chilled with brothers and sons at the pourhouse and applebees. loud but chill and too much laughing and drinks... again.

drama ensued when jxnumbereighty-five went through my texting inbox while i was in the ladies room to find texts from homeboy. something about boys i'm not dating becoming ultra-possessive over other boys i'm not dating makes me frustrated5000. maybe i should have had more to drink.

i never looked at that pic very close, i dig it... also does it still define narcissism for you?
--this punk



dear homeboy,
the post was supposed to be sarcastic-dry, not nearly as abrasive as everyone, including you, seemed to take it. the photo only defines narcissism because i like it so much... and because it's the desktop for my laptop... whatever.
love, mengtar

You hold coffee cups with your tits, how can that not be attractive.

dear anonymous,
for the record, it was a dr. pepper for tx.
love, mengtar

mengtar,

this is bx again

you stood me up on the email... what gives? we poopin or what? i have to poop now, and i wish you could watch me.

anywho, with that picture, you have effectively doubled the number of your boobs that i have seen

holla atcha boi some time ok?

your pooping buddy

superdearest bx,
congrats on the boobie doublage. i'm sorry i didn't email you. i actually JUST pooped and for the first time... almost ever... it was a rough one to get out. and like a triple wiper. ew.
love and poop, mengtar

whew, now that that's out of the way... HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEST FRIEND!!!

NACHO SIAM HOUSE!!! ((not funny))

so i met up with homeboy for lunch at siam house. i was greeted by this awesome dude that looked like stephen king minus twenty years ((still older)). he rode the line of being weirdo-central and cooler than balls. he greeted me and cleaned off a booth. post-booth-cleaning he asked "how's this booth?". i thanked him and sat down. then he informed me that it was the perfect booth for a perfect lady. ((hun, i already sat down, you don't have to keep persuading me. i'm already convinced. the motion was appreciated though)) it was pretty fucking good and well priced for my wallet.

after waking up before 9a, i couldn't get back to sleep, so i decided to paint my dollar ivy pot from target. i put on a thousand layers of yellow paint. even though it was 10a, it still didn't feel right painting without a bit to drink. whatever.







damn, looking at pictures, now i KNOW i need a haircut... but i can't really go back to her... how awkward would THAT be?!?

i was feeling a little period crazy and unpredictable this morning so i cancelled on hosting best friend's pirate-ninja birthday party tonight. i didn't want to get too drunk and cause any over-the-phone or in-person confrontations. i felt slightly confrontational this morning.

but once i entered the kitchen, i was greeted by more cuteness in my window.





luckily, best friend quickly replanned a barbecue at mx's place. i was in full attendance after learning there would also be veiwing of LOST! ((fuck yess))







HOWEVER

when i called for directions, mx sliced her hand open while on the phone with me. ((FUCK)) and best friend had to drive her to the emergency room. instead, i drove to jupiter to read for a couple hours to read while mx the trooper got stitched up.

mx has critters.




i finally finished slaughterhouse five. triple hearts for full zelda life... ((loved it)) i started reading player piano ((MORE vonnegutt)) but couldn't focus over all the worker-strikes going on across the street at the courthouse. whatever.

hmmm... other things i did today... per homeboy's recommendation, i went to hobby lobby to check out some picture frames. i got lost... for about ten minutes... i couldn't find the checkout. most. embarrassing. thing.... ever. i swear i had been following the perimeter ((although, i must admit, i got distracted by a few clearance signs along the way...)) but couldn't seem to find it. whatever.