i don't remember the last time i shampooed my hair and i'm making a pizza at 9am.

whatever.

no, i don't know how to make the video stop playing!

hung.

i still felt sick and mopey last night and was supposed to go to the blue condition show at the door.

bailed.

then cxpx called to ask some stupid question...

cxpx said:

so what are you doing tonight?

mengtar said:

i don't know. probably just stay home and rest a bit.

cxpx said:

aww... are you throwing up?

mengtar said:

no.

cxpx said:

do you have a fever?

mengtar said:

no.

cxpx said:

then wipe the blood off your vagina and go get something to drink!

well worth it.

the rest of the night was NOT worth it.

my nipple ring fell out in my sleep and now my boobie looks naked. i found the bar but because it was out all night, i can't fit it back in.

FUCK! i only slept like 4 hours! how does that shit heal up so damn fast!?!? i hope rx is still doing piercings so i can get this fixed. FUCK!

FUCK!

((fuck))

welcome to cooking with mengtar.

i'm paging through some ads while i defrost my chicken.

medieval times has adult tickets at kid prices until halloween. that was really exciting until google told me that kids tickets are still almost forty dolla.

i'm on a budget. i'd be better off buying a bigger dog and holding my own back yard joust.

i dreamt that a spider slit my throat, but i survived.

i woke up hella hung and spent most of my day staring at wall, but upon further examination, it's more likely that i'm sick.

((heh... back yard joust))

dear homeboy,
thank you for continuing to be ultra-receptive to my bi-monthly apologies of being a stubborn, overreacting drunken bitch.
love, mengtar.

another night of sorts brought to you by the fantastically stubborn mind of drunklor mengtar. special note: the photos are not from last night and in no way correlate with the story. i will also have you know that it was not my camera and i have no idea to work the settings. get over yourself.

a great night was had at the boiler room in celebration of bballamike's birthday. i helped decorate the cake, and i also accepted free shots.

per usual, after too many drinks ((too few of them being whiskey)) i decided that i was angry ((for probably no reason)). if i am drunk and angry ((again, for probably no reason)), i also usually decide to direct my drunklor anger at homeboy. he's a good sport about it.

i knew that i couldn't drive my prettymobile home, but also refused to get a ride from homeboy. or anyone else, because those people were suggested by homeboy so i was mad ((for probably no reason)) at them by association.







therefore, i'm walking. i live about 4 miles from the square. i'm okay with this.

i start walking home and everyone is calling and texting and apparently made it into a huge ordeal. i pretty much stopped caring.

also, i was cute, but wasn't about to get raped. it looked like i had at least three concealed weapons.

i peed behind a bank. classy.

i angry-walked for a good hour or so with an exceptional level of sass. those hips were dangerous. it was around 3 that i realized that i had no idea where i was.

i got lost.

in denton.

i had been walking and turning, so sure i was homebound, but not stopping to think which way home was. i turned a corner and looked up to see a glowing refuge of familiarity. the wells fargo sign. wait... i'm still on the square!!!

i was defeated and sobering up. i walked back to my car and drove home.

but it doesn't end there. of course not.







homeboy calls to affirm my safety. i'm sober enough to drive, but i'm not sober enough to be rational. that doesn't come until the following afternoon... usually after a stop at jupiter house.

i got home around 4am and decided to discontinue our friendship... again. this usually happens about once a month... and lasts until the following afternoon... usually after a stop at jupiter house.

in true hangoverlor mengtar fashion, i stumbled up to jupiter house this afternoon. i was walking behind four old men and got some catcalls from big momma and little daddy as they drove by. they all turned around to look at me. "it's okay, they're gay." they were not amused.

the radio made me feel angry, so i held imaginary, yet ultra-cool conversations with myself in my car and spilled coffee down my shirt.

i'm the coolest person you know.

welcome, visitor 5,001. i appreciate your business.

so this new kid at the og has a metal band looking for a singer... and homeboy happens to be a singer looking for a metal band...

last night was said metal band's drummer's birthday party, so kid from work thought it would be a great opportunity to meet homeboy and kind of get a feel for his level of interest and whatnot. whatever, i just wanted to drink.

homeboy couldn't make it. i still wanted to drink.

luckily, i left work in a great mood and actually felt alright about venturing to a party where i only knew one person and knowing that i would have to talk to strangers.

i showed up at the party. kid from work was wearing a polo shirt. fuck. i hate polo shirts. mostly, i hate the type of people that wear polo shirts. his collar was not popped, so i didn't want to be too judgemental. i let it slide. it was for the best.

i met some really interesting people and they dug my shit, which means they understood that i was waay cooler than everyone else there.

made some friends, whatever.

no. not whatever. i was happy about it.

several hours later, homeboy showed up... in a polo shirt. ((what the fuck, was he trying to blow my cover?)) but he also does not pop his collar, so i let it slide again. but it turns out he has known all these kids that i've been chatting up all night since grade two.

i just can't have my own thing when this kid is around!! he has to win everyone over with his cuteness and personality and polo shirts. whatever.

after kid from work's party, we went to yetanotherjx's after party where he continued to talk shit about my polo-wearing-homeboy in a wickedly upsetting attempt to get me in bed. although the late-night text of "nice boobs. i want them" almost won me over...

also, i kicked ass in drunken bones. i do believe i'm undefeated... but i drink a lot.

i did not wake up sober.

what are you doing, mengtar?



making breakfast.

are you wearing a scarf?

yes, and last night's bar clothes even though i just did laundry and have piles of outfits that smell like springtime.

i may be slipping from my ledge of sanity.

i like looking at my bedhead in the reflection on my computer monitor when my laptop goes to sleep.




UGH i ate waaay too much breakfast stir-fry and drank a thousand glasses of water and my head is pounding worse than when i woke up. i think it's time to go back to bed. but i'm still glad that my poetry-slam outfit jeans fit again.




at least i bought my hairspray and toilet paper.

i think its time to poop and then go back to sleep until work.

if i had a laptop, i would be blogging from bed this morning. in my dirty underwear. holding my head and pulling my hair. listening to the greatest hangover music with the smell of whiskey and too many cigarettes though it was barely any. the smell follows me every time i toss and turn in my bed. i feel like pig pen from the peanuts cartoons. my nose is stuffy and i probably purred like a mountain lion last night. i'm not sure who thought it was a good idea, but giving head in the morning didn't help.

a very nervous mx played at andys last night. good job, yo.

and a very perplexed and anxious mengtar drank too much knowing that she didn't have to work the next day. mr. seagrams, we are no longer friends.

a dude from the bar kept talking to me about music and how he is soo amazing at recognizing talent and is a great frontman and musician and he can play everything soo well and he wants to put some groups together and he can tell that i'm sooo good and he neeeeds me in his project because of how i act and don't care about anyone including him and we could walk to his place from there and just listen to music and everything would be just chill. wow, dude... wow.



i don't like your hair. i don't like the way you compliment me without knowing what the fuck you're saying. i don't like it that you're better dressed than i am. especially with your corduroy jacket. i don't like it that you look like mitch hedberg only uglier and not funny. i will let you buy me drinks and bum me smokes... but dudeboy, your not getting in anyones pants with lines like that... except girly girls that don't know shit about what you're talking about and are compliment-crazy and self-involved and love getting their dicks sucked by not mitch hedberg.

so after bar close i went to jupiter and overly-pretentious music guy started talking to the cool poet dude that i talked to briefly about where he gigs and such so i can check his shit some more or something and homeboy picked me up so i wouldn't have to walk forever to get home.

kx's computer caught fire today so he bought a new computer from best buy and after i saw it, i decided i needed a laptop starting NOW. we went to best buy. found my laptop. but i didn't qualify for the financing. apparently i have too many open lines of credit. i can't argue with that... but they're in good standing! i promise! that doesn't work with ladies.



but apparently most people that don't qualify still get one in the mail... so in a few weeks ((which by then i could probably just fucking buy it straight up)) i may have my new laptop. may.

FUCK TODAY!

thanksgiving was alright. my unapproved wardrobe was "cute" and "nice" from reliable sources. ((thanks guys)) i only had to dodge relationship questions from two family members, and only one relative asked why i moved to texas. i hesitated and said, "school?" tx laughed and ((someone)) almost hit him.

mengtar does not have violent characteristics...



this time i charged my camera battery... but didn't put it in my camera. mengtar is a dumbshit.

we went to the bar shortly after and found a jmx and i drank enough zeigen bocks to unquit smoking ((FUCK FUCK FUCK DAMMIT I HATE MYSELF)) and pass out two minutes into watching grandmas boy. ((another time perhaps.))



i had a crazy dream that i was fucking this dude i work with and he pulled out and i grabbed some kleenex that were by the bed because i didn't feel like swallowing. and he came in the kleenex and i grabbed them to dispose of them and there were WORMS!!! not like earthworms, but parasite worms! like planarians and shit! ewww!!! and then later in my dream i was fucking tx and started crying because i was probably giving him worms and i told him and he was all comforting like "oh, that's okay, hun!" and i was like "no!! you don't understand! i think you have WORMS!!!!"

::sigh:: boys just don't get it sometimes.

now i'm feeling really paranoid and i'm not going to fuck anything for months or until after work...

why can't i have GOOD sex dreams with hot guys with big dicks or sweet lesbian shit or something?!?!?

i woke up with a horrible hangover and it felt like the worms were in my brain and eating the back of my eyes.

i also heard the news that torii hunter will be playing center field at the twins home opener! in an ANAHEIM UNIFORM! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? fuck anahiem.






also, i'm planning my birthday party. it will be 3 days long. april 25-27 and will consist of drinking overpriced beer and eating overpriced hotdogs and watching the twins kick the shit out of the rangers!!!! ((sans hunter))

48, it was a good run. 15 years is a lot of time to give to any team. we enjoyed our time with you, and you will be greatly missed, but seriously... fuck anaheim.

woke up with a weird groggy stuttering mess in my head. that's what happens when you chase your tylenol pm with beer.

nothing beats running when it's 40 degrees outside. maybe i should come home around the snowflake shuffle again... they did have the best shirts...



i was crazy-mad when i got back from my run, because cx had already left. there was no one home to approve my thanksgiving outfit. pants vs. skirt. quite the predicament.

mx got a package from camel yesterday. a zippo and a shit-ton ((okay, like five)) of coupons. he left the coupons for me. NOT HELPING!!!! but i will keep them just in case...

then i remembered how weird and awkward i will probably be, because i will be sober and i'm really never very sure what to say to peoples' parents. so i decided to have a couple beers before leaving the house. also, not helping the fact that i really want to be smoking right now.

also, his ex that i feel excessively weird about works at tjs/the boiler room. i'm not sure how i'm going to feel about hanging out there like ever...



"hi, i'm tom peters, and i'm full of ideas!"

((hate you))

last night's early bedtime and late cuddling was the perfect ending to a miserable day of faux-giving recovery. even though i had to wake up hella early.

((here's your photo, bitch))



or



or



i'm toying with the idea of becoming a sex mediator. one who mediates a couple as they discuss their sexual frustrations.

is that a real job? no joke.

cx comes to texas tomorrow and we go to san antonio for the weekend! holy excited batman!



mengtar was perxactly schwasted.

i was about to make a funny joke but my attic critter is squeaking and is plural.

also, mengtar + antibiotics = pooplor.