kx has left for a summer on tour with the madison scouts. ((but i secretly have money on him coming home in a month on injury))

i played dress-up today in bkx's zoot-suit and fedora. it was basically amazing... ignore the mess... everywhere.






so last night in all of it's glory started out with me gimping out to boiler room to catch the hickory street hellraisers. i was immediately called out by this older guy who has seen me before. "you're the baseball girl!" ((as a matter of fact, i AM the baseball girl)) he's foreign ((don't know from where)) and is kind of cool to talk to. but then he got over-complimenting and asked me for my number and i gave him a fake ((obvs)) and i'm glad he didn't try to call me right away or i would have had to bolt to the ladies' room and call homeboy to make sure he wasn't stalking me from outside the bathroom door.

but i remember last time i was happy to talk to him because i was drunk and he gave me a legit compliment: my outfit was classy. it was.



this pose was supposed to be me selling bootleg rolexes on the street... brooklake street... but instead it turned out to be creepy stripper. hat angles and the intsensity of the part in your hair mean everything.



if only i had a bigger collar to pop. le sigh.



featuring the latest design in pimp-wear... wrap-around pants! so the legs remain baggy and your pants stay up so you can keep your cane in one hand and your bitches throat in the other.



this was supposed to be my badass pose, but ended up looking like an attempted sexy pose. special note: i don't have a sexy pose.



i ((don't)) like to think that the type of people who approach me in public are the same type of people who read my blog.

the type of people who read my blog are...
unattractive older men that are not rich
drug addicts that will overdose soon
obnoxiously artsy college students whose art i don't like
attractive similar-aged college students who have a major red-flag malfunction like 2 kids or axe murderer or foot fetishes

on my way home i got a flat tire. beautiful. and my trip to LA was just in reach! now i need tires. ((fuck my life))



this is the face of everything awesome, and that is all you ever need to know.



i have a million things to do tomorrow, but instead i think i'll go teach drum corps.

new levels of narcissism... stalking yourself.

mengtar loves narcissists.

not in an ooo yeah, oh baby oh baby way... but in more of an i could chill with that mofo because they're practically bballa sort of way.

it's whatever.

by onepm i had realized that my whole day from the beginning was a bad idea. a new game was played at work. last cup didn't stand a chance to our new game of get sick and go home early game. the only stipulation was that you had to get sick by drinking WAY too much decaffeineted coffee.

fuck decaf.

i drank too much shitty coffee and was soo close to vomiting my very being all over the og. whatever. i banked and got over it.

legit.

((special note on bad idea from the beginning exceptions: morning sex and pre-work starbucks were great ideas. that is all.))

received a text message from the original ax informing me that ray davis and pocket full of blues was playing up at his bar, texas 8ball, tonight. and that they are "way badass"

i made a cameo. ((special note: any bar appearance lasting under an hour and a half is known as a cameo... starting now))

i enjoyed them. not as bluesy or jazzy or mellow as their name made them appear, but apparently i shouldn't name bands. it fit. they grooved like mofos and i thoroughly enjoyed myself. homeboy was not a fan.

((special note: homeboy pays dumb bitches to wipe their assholes...wow... just wow.))

iwrite music homeboy hates. homeboy equals hater... starting... NOW!

i'll blog the rest of my bar napking later. it's bedtime.

ps, bx says hi.

chicago was a complete success.

we didn't spend as much time in the city as any of us had expected, but downer's grove proved to be more exciting than any of us had expected.

yesterday was italian night. lasagna, wine and painting. we ventured out to buy groceries and chianti and i bought yet another outfit at target ((this week only: mengtar is the cutest thing ever)) and matching kicks from payless... also, kicks is double plural because they had a bogo sale.

also, the downer's grove payless salesman is the coolest guy frpm chicago i've ever met. well, guy from chicago that i met in chicago... sure.

after clothes and shoes, we finally made it to the grocery store and home for some fine lasagna and wine and painted MODERN art... well, momx and sx painted random shapes and i made trees which weren't modern at all, but the painting was completely baller and i wanted to take it home.

oh well. cx and i will have a painting reincarnate night immediately followed by a painting hang-a-thon because my walls are bare and my house is a bore.

i woke up to confusing text messages from a seemingly somber jx.

jx said:

do you believe that people can change?

mengtar said:

absolutely.

jx said:

you are radiant and sensational.

sometimes it's nice to hear compliments before you accept your own death via planecrash.

((don't be alarmed, every time i ride a plane, i come into full acceptance that it is my deathday. i assure you, this is not new. i hate planes.))

chicago is my favorite city to fly over. second prettiest skyline in the us. second to minneapolis, of course.

i like being cute in airports and wearing sunglasses because people will assume you are a big deal. i'm glad i shaved my armpits this morning. if i hadn't and someone noticed, it would have devastating effects on my big deal status.

i shaved my armpits this morning. i am a big deal.

i have finished another book by the indespensible kurt vonnegut. timequake. if i had finished the rest of the collection ((working on it)) i might say that it is his best book since his slaughter-house days. i'm glad that now i can discuss it with best friend and the girl from work who is definitely not my friend, but i will talk to her because she just recently finished timequake as well. i'm over it.

homeboy is taking me to the aquarium today. things i want to see at the aquarium:
sea dragons ((because they were on animal planet today as the number two most extreme disguises.))
balluga whale. ((because of the raffi song and because cx said they had a whale.))
cougar ((because i heard they had one, and that is just silly))

speaking of silly, did you know that your eyelashes are just silia? whoa.

also, sharks are neat, but if i get too scared, i will have no use for the swimsuit and loosely-knit over-suit thing i also bought. i mean, i'll wear it someplace eventually, but with little or no purpose.

water = scary. damn you, stephen speilburg!

one thing i continue to find interesting when i travel is that when strangers talk to me, they often ask about my nationality.

uhh... white?

this time i was told i had an interesting accent and asked by a polite businessman if i was from the ukraine. no... minnesota. not even fucking close.

other popular potentials are russia and new york. new york is not a nationality, i understand this. strangers do not. i'm over it.

now i have to wait forever for homeboy to pick my ass up from public. i'm beginning to re-hate being in public. it comes and goes. currently, it is gone.

as of a couple hours ago, my pumpkin head is in texas!!

join us for the slamming of thirty beers on the square! ((after the og)) t'will be a grand time.






in other news, homeboy's black car ((the one that makes me imagine him burning alive after rolling and tumbling and flipping nine times through fruit markets and school zones loaded with small children because he drives like the madman he pretends not to be)) is running again!... sort of. it just needs a jump or five.

also, lake dallas barbecue is soo much better than denton barbecue. except for the yams. apparently you have to back to the north to eat a good fucking yam. it's whatever. but we went to this place called leona's or laina's or loaner's or something for breakfast and i giggled at weird situations and ate an incredible barbecued pork sandwich and super-candied yams that were not quite super.






also, i found a new shirt in my trunk. if i don't decide to try on a thousand different event-outfits for pumpkin head's homecoming, i will wear it. it will be okay i think. but i can't wear it with the butt-crack pants i wore yesterday and i don't think i want to wear the pants with the hole in the knee because it is chilly again and drafty pants make me frustrated i wonder if i can find my darkwash jeans but they might match my shirt TOO well.




last night i thought i was going to stay home and watch the office in my couch fort but that didn't happen. cx and i watched hours upon hours of project runway and sell this house and then started talking about repainting our kitchen to FINALLY get rid of our heinous wallpaper and curtains. i think it was when we were discussing making matching outfits out of our floral curtains that i decided it was time to leave the house.




i went to jupiter house for seven minutes. just enough time to cozy into a chair and read the same paragraph eight times trying to block out the NOISE of others, order a coffee and then decide to go to homeboy's place to read in peace. i call other peoples' conversation NOISE because i think it was completely unnecessary. some days i feel completely narcisistic and everyones' existence makes me angry... unless you're making me coffee or doing me favors or whispering so i can barely hear you because then you're in the "white noise" category and i don't have to use my shift key when i blog about your presence.




i bought some crickets from petco and he gave me the pre-bagged ones that were hanging from the hooks in the reptile area. whenever this happens i feel pretty gyped. i imagine the crickets they get from the back are of a higher grade, or even a higher class. more civilized crickets. i paid $3.09 for blue collar crickets. i wonder if snowflake can tell.

today is a mengtar rarity. i want breakfast. hot damn.

it could be because i was actually awake from seven to eight and after that i had like a thousand bad dreams and mx and sx died and i shot myself in the forehead and didn't die which is too bad actually because it didn't even hurt but it wouldn't stop bleeding and then i was forced to be a pretend lesbian to get this other girl who was completely in love with me to help me escape on her raft into this community of floating houses... whatever.

then i wokeup half-screaming that edward elgar composed the pomp and circumstance marches. ((i'm glad you had already left for class))

i might go buy some noodles and make spaghetti with momx's christmas homemade spaghetti sauce and drink smoothies and take pictures of all of it so you have something to aspire to later in life.

also, this man is not good. but was pretty confident in a not-knowing/not-caring sort of way that was almost endearing. and his guitar said "this machine kills fascists" all woody guthrie style. cute. so cute, in fact, that hearing about homeboy's 3-hour cellular biology lab was far more entertaining than listening to him sing. check it.

UPDATE: mengtar is video error central this morning so fuck this shit and on to the spaghetti.

not all the cigarettes in the world can stop the jitters and feeling of constant anxiety for no reason today. it feels like i'm coming down from a mediocre two day cocaine blitz. i hope i sleep later.

curly-haired pretentious man from jupiter house is also a packers fan. one more reason you should hate him too.

also, i am the everything of anything that has ever been awesome.

so i'm not exactly sure what to do with myself especially now that i am basically stuck in this routine of being completely awesome all the fucking time.

who'd have thought bballa status would be so hard.

maybe i should moisturize.

also, just because my voice sounds funny over the phone doesn't mean i'm masturbating. that was ONE TIME!

((feel special))

merry 250 and welcome visitor 666!

so scratch my last statement. rant revoked. apparently i should just mature up a bit and not be socially awkward and actually approach people or something... how conceptual!

::le sigh::

also, in case you forgot how awesome i am... there is this.



in other news... i have officially gotten my fifth ear infection since moving to texas. but apparently lucky number five also comes with accute bronchitis! how generous!

last night i was exhausted and couldn't sleep for balls. even after watching two movies. ((one of which makes me fall asleep EVERY TIME!!)) but my head was pounding all crazy in every direction and then i was cold then hot then freezing then i turned crazy and at 6am i decided i needed to go home because i was tripping and told homeboy and he went to get some meds out of the bathroom and was gone for maybe 25 seconds and i layed down and passed out. then i drank water and decided that i'm stupid and to just go to bed. it was quite the ordeal.

tomorrow i have an interview with a holiday inn cat to see about that bartending gig for reals. keep it in the pocket.

why does she have to defend her feelings inside? why pretend she's not had a life of near misses? now all that she wants is three little wishes. she wants to see with your eyes. she wants to smile with your smile. she wants a nice surprise every once in a while. ((little fifteen))

for a sick kid, i must admit. i do look damn cute in my bedhead and loungewear.

also, if you google search "someone's in the kitchen with Diana," not only will you find me here, but you will also find Diana the transexual;s blog about being transgendered in the nutmeg state. interesting.

that is all.

none of my roommates play guitar. however, someone is clearly playing guitar in my house. odd.

while driving back to my house from the airport the other day, i was scared because i saw fire over the trees. there was a giant burning torch where they used to be scavenging or drilling or whatever the correct terminology is for natural gas. i thought it was going to explode my house. turns out, it's completely safe and had been burning since i left. it was off tonight so i couldn't take a picture. i am now convinced that they do that every time i leave because denton misses me.

yes, that's how i sleep at night.

i want to go to jupiter house tonight, but patrick isn't texting me back and i'm getting a bit upset.

mike stole a dog, so now we have three.

it's okay because colby's neighbors used to hit it.

i took zero pictures in minnesota. so you will have to keep waiting for something interesting to happen.