banter.

11ish.

bballamike.

so i totally though mrnvisible was bballamike...

my apologies, sir, i have been mistaken. but welcome, and feel free to continue not commenting on my blog.

in other news... newroommaterx and i are going to move in together after kx sells the house. yay for not being homeless!

also, he took a picture of me sleeping and it totally looks like i'm smelling my armpit... one day my ego will shrink enough to show you.

dadx said:

saturday night... popcorn, fudge and watching heart and souls movie... wish you were here.

mengtar said:

i had a shiner black beer at movie tavern and watched the new hellboy2 movie. i wish i was there too.

dadx said:

i'd rather watch hellboy and have a black.



i take my hydration very seriously.



my afternoon of greatness and drinking and watching the twins game at the bar and more drinking and then watching hellboy2 and still drinking came to an end right about there.

there was a 180 mood change once i got to jupiter. i'm pretty sure i'm premensing. look out, kids, i am bad attitude central.

i mean, i wasn't completely unprovoked.



ugly kid in a pantera shirt wouldn't leave me alone. i'm wearing headphones and reading a book. do i really look like i'm welcoming a conversation?

luckily homeboy texted me to meet up again at coolbeans because there was some kicking music. too bad i STILL don't have my id and STILL can't get into certain bars certain nights of the week.

fuck texas.

and fuck the minnesota dmv.

i went home to play some splinter cell. ((tom clancy video games: mengtar's guilty pleasure)) but the fucking new roommates are playing ironman, which is lamecity. not even tom clancy lame, because, like the rainbow six games, it is at least fun in the "i just want to kill some bitches" sort of way, but it has reached a very true and genuine level of lame that can only be matched by sporty velcro sandals and muzak.

at least i had the time to hold up the bathroom once i got home to take an explosive dump from my movie tavern cheese pizza. ((special note: mengtar loves cheese... also, mengtar has a lactose intolerance... also, mengtar doesn't care, it's totally worth it))

about a minute later, bballamike called to tell me that the dude playing at the garage "is soo amazing" and that i "haaave to be heere!!!!" i played off the whole "awww... that's too bad, i totally would go if i had an id" but really i was just screaming in my head because i'm sick the bullshit. i hung up the phone and threw it at the wall.

then i pooped some more.

i like rock band.

and i like guitar hero.

but i'm not going to lie, with two of my roommates out of town the past couple weeks, my favorite part was not having to listen to fucking rock band music all fucking day!!

don't you kids have social lives? ever heard of a book? cross-stitch? any hobby that doesn't irritate the fucking shit out of me??!??

i just woke up from a nap to the news that bballamike is not playing at andy's tonight. with no legit reason to leave the house and drink, i'm left with nothing to motivate me other than this vexation.

i'm fixin'to slit throats.

in other news, newkidatog bodyslammed me onto the sidewalk outside boiler room last night.

also, i NEED NEED to see funny games.

((need))

dear homeboy,
thank you for continuing to be ultra-receptive to my bi-monthly apologies of being a stubborn, overreacting drunken bitch.
love, mengtar.

another night of sorts brought to you by the fantastically stubborn mind of drunklor mengtar. special note: the photos are not from last night and in no way correlate with the story. i will also have you know that it was not my camera and i have no idea to work the settings. get over yourself.

a great night was had at the boiler room in celebration of bballamike's birthday. i helped decorate the cake, and i also accepted free shots.

per usual, after too many drinks ((too few of them being whiskey)) i decided that i was angry ((for probably no reason)). if i am drunk and angry ((again, for probably no reason)), i also usually decide to direct my drunklor anger at homeboy. he's a good sport about it.

i knew that i couldn't drive my prettymobile home, but also refused to get a ride from homeboy. or anyone else, because those people were suggested by homeboy so i was mad ((for probably no reason)) at them by association.







therefore, i'm walking. i live about 4 miles from the square. i'm okay with this.

i start walking home and everyone is calling and texting and apparently made it into a huge ordeal. i pretty much stopped caring.

also, i was cute, but wasn't about to get raped. it looked like i had at least three concealed weapons.

i peed behind a bank. classy.

i angry-walked for a good hour or so with an exceptional level of sass. those hips were dangerous. it was around 3 that i realized that i had no idea where i was.

i got lost.

in denton.

i had been walking and turning, so sure i was homebound, but not stopping to think which way home was. i turned a corner and looked up to see a glowing refuge of familiarity. the wells fargo sign. wait... i'm still on the square!!!

i was defeated and sobering up. i walked back to my car and drove home.

but it doesn't end there. of course not.







homeboy calls to affirm my safety. i'm sober enough to drive, but i'm not sober enough to be rational. that doesn't come until the following afternoon... usually after a stop at jupiter house.

i got home around 4am and decided to discontinue our friendship... again. this usually happens about once a month... and lasts until the following afternoon... usually after a stop at jupiter house.

in true hangoverlor mengtar fashion, i stumbled up to jupiter house this afternoon. i was walking behind four old men and got some catcalls from big momma and little daddy as they drove by. they all turned around to look at me. "it's okay, they're gay." they were not amused.

the radio made me feel angry, so i held imaginary, yet ultra-cool conversations with myself in my car and spilled coffee down my shirt.

i'm the coolest person you know.

also, happy birthday bballamike!



((come here))

one day i will get a camera and show pictures of my amazing car and exceptionally cute hair.

until then...

so last night was pumpkin head's last night in texas. hit up hooligans ((where i still can't drink until i get my ID back... bitches)) and then to andy's to watch bballamike sing. he did a great job until some drunk non-friend decided to try singing with him. i'd have taken a great video of non-friend trying to sing and knowing he wasn't good so he turned the microphone away during all of the high barely in range screamy parts. also, he was bad.

i tried to find my pumpkin afterwards but he had left for ihop. i had every intention of joining him, but ran into the original ax and was swept away by the idea of another round of ((free)) drinks at boiler room.

the original ax said:

so are do you want to come over tonight?

mengtar said:

no, i have to go home.

the original ax said:

come on, you know you want this...

mengtar said:

well... my crotch is still exploding. ((lie))

the original ax said:

i have a shower.

mengtar said:

ew. ((not a lie))

meanwhile, homeboy is standing three feet away. it's always pretty awkward being propositioned for sex when i'm out with him.

i had to give him a ride home because he was too drunklor, where he continued to try touching me and taking out his weewee for me to touch. i managed to decline.

we also ran into my bff, but she un-facebook friended me, so i didn't feel the need to say hi or try to out-fake-nice her.

it's art-fusion night at rubber gloves again. i'm supposed to be joining rx and tx, but just realized this afternoon that i won't be able to get in without my id. fuck this shit.

it's time for rum.

i just got off work. i smell, i'm hungry, and i'm tired.

i don't like to eat right before sleeping. it's just silly.

if i shower now, i'll have to change my bedsheets before taking a nap, because they smell like smoke and boy and body fluids. by the end of my shower i will be too unmotivated to change them and will be angry the rest of the night that i ruined my cleanness on dirty sheets. also, one of my pens exploded on it.

if i sleep first, i might not want to take a shower later tonight. and depending on my unmade plans, i might not have time to eat before going out to drink.

instead, i'll just watch kx play gta4 and blog about not doing things.

bballa mike played a great show and andy's last night. i got blitzed and may or may not have come home and had sex. hard to say.

but i did join a bicycle gang.

i also danced. bad idea.



i started upstairs for some photo-ops and cozied up to my stretch of railing, but then some stranger wanted to make conversation while my friend was singing and i was only on my first drink. uncomfortable.



i don't remember his name, but he is also in my bicycle gang.




cutest tiniest kickdrum ever. also, was he in scv? 04 maybe?



next week will be this kid's last week closing andy's open mic. apparently he's moving on to bigger and better things. almost as sad as the thought of me being done blogging. ew.



((this is ground control to major tom))



also, the hopeless look in my eyes is because i had just realized that they were out of toilet paper and paper towels.



((le sigh))

so tonight was pretty much disappointment central with a couple perks to keep me going.

i was supposed to play dominoes... err... bones... with best friend and rx, but they bailed because i got out of work too late and we all work in the morning.

bones postponed to tomorrow.

invited the unresponsive homeboy. whatever.

i decide to go home and sleep off the hate.

after doing some more layout work to the blog and laying in bed for twentyish minutes naked with the lights off in a failed effort for sleep, i decide ((7 minutes prior to showtime)) to go watch bballamike play at andys.

upon my arrival, descent guitar player with a wicked hat and vest and major phasing issues with his co-guitar player were on stage. i didn't vibe it. too bad.



moving on.

his show was far better than average. complete with a song about snowballing his wife. how sweet.





i was basically bored and miserable ((pouting)) for the first half hour of andys until i saw a girl with a "so it goes" tattoo.



as a vonnegut fan, i FREAKED ((internally)) but complimented her anyway. i've NEVER been one to believe in copying ink... but i'm pretty sure i NEED this tattoo. whatever. she's pretty baller and introduced me to this dude mohammed. ((above average good-looking and a more than awesome conversationalist)) who insists on buying me drinks for the rest of the night.

i'm usually okay with that.

closing track of the closing act was major tom, of course, and bballamike accompanied ((beautifully)) and this dude played harmonica in the corner and he was basically badass about it in an overly pretentious way... "i don't have to be on stage OR have a microphone to accompany you on harmonica. i accompany who i want when i want whether they like it or not." it reminded me of kyle. i miss him. and i feel retarded for letting him slide for someone else too pretentious for my own good. at least he was genuine and made me feel pretty.




also, last night i drank at loophole with the roommates and made awkward eye contact with one of his old friends we used to hang out with. i remembered his name this morning and found his number in my cell phone later this afternoon. i think it's about time to swallow my awkwardness.

homeboy texts back enough to make me antsy but standoffish enough to make me roll my eyes and scream "get over yourself!"

whatever. i've been phased and replaced, but am not necessarily over it.

i'm over the fact that i'm not over it and don't need to hear what you have to say about it.

also, i'm not turning into a lesbian. but if it happened, i would be over that too.

((so it goes))

also, bballamike, sorry i missed you playing at the garage last night. i didn't get your voicemail til after work and homeboy was writing up a heavy lab report and i just wanted to watch who framed roger rabbit because on the new og shitty music soundtrack they have an old frank sinatra song that i couldn't figure out how i knew it but i only knew the line "although i know it's strictly taboo" but the rest of the song wasn't familiar at all and then i figured out that in the ending battle between eddie valiant and judge doom ((after you find out he's a toon)) eddie pulls out the singing sword and it's frank sinatra and that's the line he sings...

mengtar just scored an all new low on the excuses used to not see bballamike play meter... 4.

but she also just scored a possible all-time high on the longest run-on sentences ever used in her blog meter... 122.

mengtar is feeling particularly crazy lately... look out...

red made my jupiter house mocha shake with peanut butter especially thick today. loving it.

bballa mike was hit by a car on his new motorcycle. no bueno. he's okay. fucked some ribs and the bike... but okay.

hearing the news made my heart sink as i am the mistress of what-if syndrome. i've come to accept my losses as of late, but anything more would put me over the edge and would officially be filed under "things mengtar is incapable of dealing with right now and could cause her to emotionally detach herself from human relationships even more than she already has." that file folder is quite large and has an extremely long tab...

you say that bff hates me because you're not sleeping with anyone else. i think you hate it more than she does.

there is a training class at the og with yet ANOTHER mengtar. this will be the third mengtar at the og. seriously unnecessary. seriously.

however, i had some fun at work today. first, i danced. a lot. poorly ((as i am incapable of dancing otherwise))

also, i had a trainee shadowing me. and he is a transfer from one of our partner restaurants. as he already had a feel for the system, i was able to sit back and bark orders and make wonderfully dry and overly sarcastic remarks the whole time. when he laughed i told him to shut his mouth while talking to me.

i was phased from my shift shortly after og trainer ex told me that we were done with the shadowing. i joked that she should have held out an extra ten minutes so i could have made him clean my section. she didn't think that was a horrible idea, so i had 3 rookies clean my section while i continued sitting back and barking orders and making wonderfully dry and overly sarcastic remarks the whole time.

i had them clean trivial things that we are supposed to do, but never actually get done like wiping down the chairs and checking for gum and things on the underside of the tables and wiping the railings and window sills for dust. oh fun!

while ex and i sat back and watched them do my job, i asked if i could just fuck with them a little bit. ex is getting old in her age and cares less than she should. when they returned from doing my job, i told them to grab a wet rag ((which they replied with "what's a raayyig?" fuck you non-minnesotans)) and wipe down the stone wall behind the family table... fun.

ex and i sat immediately behind them giggling. i love myself.

more on everything as of late later. smokes then homeboys.

done and done.

also, i've been playing with black and white.



i've been playing a game at the og since my first week... alone... in my head. i call it last cup. how to play is if you pull out the rack of glasses and there is only one or you take the last one, you get a point. i finally admitted this loser-game to rx ((the sock burner)) and ax ((the one i don't fuck)) and i am now the founder of the lcl ((last cup league)) and will never lose. fuckers can't strategize.

you are among the famous tonight, kids.



and because i don't like actually searching out people or social situations...

dear smartass,
i don't even remember what xmas blog you're talking about. be less vague when talking to the retarded.
love, mengtar.



dear bballamike,
it has already been decided that i won't be burning socks OR buying laptops OR going to minnesota or vegas or south padre or chicago or anywhere. instead i will just keep getting speeding tickets and paying for them and not sucking cops dicks for who knows what reasons. it's kind of a touchy subject so i encourage you to walk on eggshells every time we're in deep conversation about anything to not say laptop or anything that rhymes with computer. moving on.
love, mengtar.

dear worse half of j and l,
who are you and why are you asking me questions?
love, mengtar.



dear j and l,
i don't take pictures at your house because if i put them on my blog homeboy would cower in fear of your manliness and then he would stop reading altogether and without my blog his life and being is pretty much useless. your welcome. also, it's just weird that you read this because i talk about masturbating and when i come over you don't talk about masturbating and i'm not sure how to socialize without being awkward and intimidated. also, yes i would love to help break in his xmas present to himself. but the last two times i've gotten ear infections afterwards. so you are soo on notice.
not-quite-love, mengtar.

i only have an hour to nap and masturbate before getting ready for work.



le sigh.

if i had a laptop, i would be blogging from bed this morning. in my dirty underwear. holding my head and pulling my hair. listening to the greatest hangover music with the smell of whiskey and too many cigarettes though it was barely any. the smell follows me every time i toss and turn in my bed. i feel like pig pen from the peanuts cartoons. my nose is stuffy and i probably purred like a mountain lion last night. i'm not sure who thought it was a good idea, but giving head in the morning didn't help.

a very nervous mx played at andys last night. good job, yo.

and a very perplexed and anxious mengtar drank too much knowing that she didn't have to work the next day. mr. seagrams, we are no longer friends.

a dude from the bar kept talking to me about music and how he is soo amazing at recognizing talent and is a great frontman and musician and he can play everything soo well and he wants to put some groups together and he can tell that i'm sooo good and he neeeeds me in his project because of how i act and don't care about anyone including him and we could walk to his place from there and just listen to music and everything would be just chill. wow, dude... wow.



i don't like your hair. i don't like the way you compliment me without knowing what the fuck you're saying. i don't like it that you're better dressed than i am. especially with your corduroy jacket. i don't like it that you look like mitch hedberg only uglier and not funny. i will let you buy me drinks and bum me smokes... but dudeboy, your not getting in anyones pants with lines like that... except girly girls that don't know shit about what you're talking about and are compliment-crazy and self-involved and love getting their dicks sucked by not mitch hedberg.

so after bar close i went to jupiter and overly-pretentious music guy started talking to the cool poet dude that i talked to briefly about where he gigs and such so i can check his shit some more or something and homeboy picked me up so i wouldn't have to walk forever to get home.

kx's computer caught fire today so he bought a new computer from best buy and after i saw it, i decided i needed a laptop starting NOW. we went to best buy. found my laptop. but i didn't qualify for the financing. apparently i have too many open lines of credit. i can't argue with that... but they're in good standing! i promise! that doesn't work with ladies.



but apparently most people that don't qualify still get one in the mail... so in a few weeks ((which by then i could probably just fucking buy it straight up)) i may have my new laptop. may.

i look like i'm getting ready to hibernate. so all photos of me will be very strategicly taken and will most likely not make it to the blog. sorry, kids. guess we have to wait for my next trip to crazy-town or for me to pick out the most appealing eating disorder. whatever.

i want to take a nap but my bed is empty. the fact that that would stop me makes me more anxious than sleeping alone in the first place. i don't like the idea that might be depending on someone else... even maybe.

mx is giving out pony rides... er... motorcycle rides tonight. in exchange, you should just show up and cheer for him. 11pm. andys. done and done.

also, that was a lie.

jupiter house's mocha shake with peanut butter is incredible... however, if you substitute the ice cream for soy milk, ice, and a banana, it does not taste good. who'd have thought???

nap it is.

honda shadow 750.



bballa by definition.

what has mengtar been up to... nothing good, i assume.



i'm still having wet dreams over larger-than-life guitar hero. that's where you play it on a giant projection screen ((fifteen feet or so)) so your video-game character is actually larger than your being. ((ego not included)) but things haven't been the same since that night. and i'm having fun with it for now, but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't waiting for you to snap out of it.



my new favorite place to hang out has officially turned into the texas 8 ball. especially because i won my first game against homeboy last night... which means that we actually might stop hanging out there altogether to parallel the fact that after beating him once in both darts and bowling ((anything else i'm forgetting?? awesomeness perhaps?)) we have ceased participation in said activities. balls to you, sir.



new years was fun. i wasn't allowed to get as schwasted as i had hoped, as i had to work at 6am, but i still had a good time. i caught the end of the hickory street hellraisers' gig at banter. but was in time to listen to them sing ((poorly)) the 20-minute version of auld lang syne. apparently that song has a thousand verses. i giggled every time.



post-banter i grabbed a drink with bballa and co. at t8b and talked a bit with the original ax who is still trying to fuck me, but for some reason i'm hesitant. maybe it's because of l-t-lGH3 night. maybe it's because i don't like being choked.



we went again last night and before we left he gave me a hug and asked if i could come over after he was done closing down the bar. i told him that i was going to play some gh at homeboys place. in response, he slides one hand down my pants and runs the other hand through my hair, pulls it back and bites my neck. pretty hot, but not convincing enough. ((sorry))

partied later down in argyle or justin or something with homeboy's friends. had a lot more fun than i thought ((low expectations again)) because i remembered a few of them and more than a few of them remembered me. "hey, it's the yankee girl!" also, my pumas matched my shirt and belt and i felt i was dressed appropriately. ((thanks, cx!))



this was our first rock band injury. poor kx...



bx is at 40. how am i losing to a guy that wears a sweatshirt with cut-off sleeves?!? seriously! i mean... my hair is soo much cuter than his AND i have a blog! i should be dick central.



merry xmas to me on FRIDAY! my presents should be arriving via ups. ((but fuck ups because i'm still bitter about the yamaha incident of 2004... even though it was pretty badass))



also, this is my first new years resolution ever. and it's going to be badass and i hate you for being condescending about it. ((balls excited!)) if a mengtar is in a room by herself with no pants and messy hair, she probably just got done masturbating. you heard it here first.

mengtar is proud to present... bballamike!

i dreamt about killer whales the size of my forearm and the bad guy from no country for old men and i woke up a thousand times freaking out that i was about to get knifed or airgunned and flailed about and interrupted some above average quality cuddling. awkward.

((sorry))

and since i've had nothing but lots of coffee and half of my el guapo's ((at a discount rate of 40%... seriously... i should go there more often than twice ever)) i'm basically operating at the mental capacity of cheese.



my nap was postponed so i could spend some quality time with an ((understandably)) irritable mx in the emergency room. iron appedices and no surgeries is bballa by definition.

we even have matching hand wounds!



((and by matching, i mean that we are both on the disabled list))

now that i have christmas plans, i definitely need to do some shopping. i've been working up a good brainstorm, but my insomnia doesn't provide for much to be a-brewin'.

i feel sorry for everyone i'm about to wait on tonight.



also, my crotch is bleeding, but i'm too tired to notice.

for the first time in a while i think i might be standing in a financially decent spot. i'm not worried about rent. i'm confident i'll be able to pay all of my bills on time this month. i'll be able to pay off the rest of my mattress shortly after. ((fuck yes)) and i even took a full week off work this month.

SOMEBODY is feeling pretty bballa!

((unless there is a magic bill that i forgot about that just hasn't come in the mail yet...))

also, mengtar and mx will not be sassed. oh no ma'am.

last night was the most baller time to be had with no camera battery. ((boo-hiss)) jupiter. andys. BOILER ROOM!!! ((new tj's))



the boiler room is FINALLY open. beautiful inside. bar highlights:

working toilets.
hugelor projection screen ((perfect for football and karaoke)).
beautiful bar.
wonderful home-like feeling that i haven't felt in a bar since old tj's.



so afterwards i went to homeboys and watched blazing saddles. ((purely silly)) and passed out.

i meant to wake up at 8.30 so i could do a practice-run on my thanksgiving hairstyle. ((a success)) i don't want to look all scraggily for his family's bird-day dinner. i take my holidays very seriously. but i ended up waking up at 7. i got bored staring at the ceiling giggling at stupid nothings inside my head, and i tried waking him up. that only lasted as long as the festivities. it's whatever. i had some serious hair-business to take care of.



shortly after arriving to work, he sends me a text message....

tx said:

what time did i leave this morning?

now, a question like this presents a problem on a couple different levels.

1- we stayed at his place.
2- i left before him.
3- before leaving, i woke him up and said "it's 830. i'm leaving."
4- maybe i'm wrong.
5- what day is it?
6- oh my god, i think i just traveled time!
7- oh, no? it's still wednesday?
8- i'm so confused.

worked all day. some of my tables were very generous. not enough of them though. too bad. i hope they have a crappy thanksgiving and their turkeys are dry and pies are soggy and their children resent them for it.



also, i'm 3 for 3 on days of running and not smoking.

i forgot to buy crickets yesterday. petco was closed when i got off work. they will be closed tomorrow. ((sorry, snowflake and wellington also. i still love you and might even stay home tonight to hear you sing me thanksgiving morning holiday songs in the morning... maybe... like whether or not you will eat, i make no promises))



happy thanksgiving, everyone! ((except mike case and eric novotney and all the haters in the club))