welcome to boredom marathon 2008.

mr. clean magic erasers are black magic. no other way it could be that good. but scrubbing bubbles still reign superior when it comes to shower grime. ew...

i mean... err... my body emits daisies and i have no use for a shower. whatever.

i got my new license plate registration stickers in the mail and was going to take a picture of me posing and maybe flashing gang signs, but then the neighbor let his crotch spawn out to ride bikes in the driveway. what a dick.

productivity and rum consumption are inversely related. i would have argued differently based on the rum as motivation factor. apparently not so.

i almost forgot. i went to jupiter house before an am shift and this girl that i don't know was sass-central. also, it is important to know that i am incapable of thinking about the things i say this early in the morning. again also, it is also important to understand the flow of the conversation. sassy girl's comments are spoken slowly... with sass... and mine are quick, sharp and spoken immediately after her statements. there are pauses after mine before she starts again.

mengtar said:

can i get a medium soy mocha?

sassy girl said:

soy?

mengtar said:

yes.

sassy girl said:

((disgusted sigh)) you know that costs extra, right?

mengtar said:

don't get cocky.

wow... all that lead, i bet you thought it was going to be a great conversation. i'm over it.

thanks px.... ((i guess))

23

while i was at work, some kid was coloring a turkey in her coloring book. her mom made a comment about how that's what they eat on thanksgiving. i already made the joke to myself so whatever.

then later when the mom is in the bathroom the girl says to her other youngster friend at the table "how do they get the feathers off?"

also, maybe i hadn't eaten and we got to taste more of our new drinks ((by the way, the limemint fresco is amazing even though no one else liked it so i drank the whole thing)) or maybe because i'm incredible, but i decided to tell her how they get the feathers off:

WELL ((this got her attention now she is looking up at me)) first they chop their heads off... then adam who was standing near me goes MEGAN! in his scolding voice so i wasn't able to get to the then they run the bodies under scolding hot water and skin them part. whatever. she wanted to know, right? and if your mom is a bitch enough to make a that's the animal we will be eating joke then what does it matter if i get graphic?

this just in: kids suck anyway! yes, yours too!

ps. fil came to the og to brag about how he haggled for his meats at the meat choppery. he got the end pieces for 99 cents a pound instead of the 2 dollar whatever price. also, he is turning into an old woman.

also, today must have been "bring your kid to work day." and by "work," i mean, "my work," and by "kid," i mean "unholy terror spawned from your gaping vagina."

we had wave after wave of parents bringing in their little broodlings and giving them sugar injections of cherry italian creme sodas and then let them have free reign of the lobby. the yuppies with their soupandsalad looked annoyed. i like to imagine that at one point in time, no one brought their kids to restaurants. it would be like taking them into a pg13 movie. no one is going to stop you. but why?

bottom line is that i just don't like your kids.

i have never worked a drive-thru in my life. in fact, i have never even driven through starbucks drive-thru in my life. my personal philosophy is if i don't have the time to shift my car into park and walk inside to buy a $2 cup of coffee, i really just don't need coffee. it kind of cheapens the whole experience anyway. The whole romanticism of a good cup of coffee is lost when you contrast it with suburban moms throwing all their little crotch spawn into the minivan and driving them through the starbucks so they can't run amok in the cafe. why even put on pants? starbucks has a drive-thru now!

also it doesn't help that the latest trend of the retarded kids everywhere is to play "fire in the hole". basically you borrow daddy's bmw and order a drink from a drive-thru and then throw it back at the worker and shout "fire in the hole" as you drive off. then you upload the video to youtube. inspired, i know. if you have ever worked retail, food service, or fast-food in your life, then this will make you cringe.



if you raised any of these crotch spawn, you failed as a parent; and when the myspace generation starts having kids, we are so fucked.