my new composition professor is roughly ninety years old. i doubt she reads my blog.

she told us that this course will teach us the crucial critical thinking skills to make good decisions as we journey through the path of life ((clicheeeeeee))

does that mean i can't do coke off my kitchen counter top anymore?

mengtar said:

hey, how're ya'll doing?

tablex said:

two iced teas

mengtar said:

well that's good. my name is mengtar and i'll be taking excellent care of you today. can i start you off with anything to drink?

tablex said:

what?

mengtar said:

i'm doing well too. ((exit stage right))


they complained to the manager...

sometimes at work, i'll walk around the restaurant looking for people i know... so i can not talk to them.

don't freak out. the irs will be paying me ten thousand dollars on february sixth. ten thousand. don't freak out.

tomorrow will be spent cleaning on account of the discovery of a cricket refugee camp under my sweater. find peace in your shelter tonight, boys, tomorrow is your day of reckoning.

gaymanagerx said:

UGH! i hate that smell.

mengtar said:

clams? i think that's why we both like boys.

a half hour and a bottle of wine later...

pasta bowl time.

not a happy mengtar.

when working togos at the olive garden, typically 3-4 people have access to the drawer that i take full responsibility for... not the fairest system.

so i got fucked out of some "mishandled" money tonight... about sixty dollars worth... so while i should have walked out with ninety, i have thirty.

do you know how many large hawaiian macadamia nut coffees and bran muffins from jupiter house that is?!?

a lot.

((14.1176))

over a month of caffeine and overly-regular bowel movements. ((but they're soo good!))

it's whatever.

i'm super-questioning faux-giving in chicago this year. i'm not sure if it'd be a better investment to rock it or actually spend christmas with my family. there's no way i can afford both.

when the fuck am i going to pay off my car?

or afford next semester's tuition?

i ran into my favorite crashsite drummer last night. ((swoon)) he apparently just lost his job at kroger for a misweighed salad.

at least i can still steal all the salads i want.

but he will be joining us tuesday for lou's import glass night. excellent.

i'm unable to subdue my drinking habits. even in financially difficult periods, i would let it consume ninety per cent of my budget.

now i even drink alone sometimes.

i haven't decided if i'm a functioning alcoholic, or just an alcoholic.

so i've been eating bran muffins for a while now. i really like them. and pooping.

so i was pooping at work. in the handicapped stall, because it's roomier. i like to refer to it as the luxury stall.

and i'm mid-poop when i hear a mom and her kid walk in.

and i notice that i didn't lock the door.

and the door is out of reach.

and i didn't want anything to drip inside my pants because... ew.

i panicked.

luckily, they picked the two other stalls.

also, i need soccer shoes. and a nap.

happy 700. i'm over it.

my identity has officially been stolen... again.

can't i just belong to myself for a fucking minute?

whatever. i'm just going to sit here in my clothesplosion of a bedroom and list off things i hate in order to improve the quality of procrastination for writing my gilgamesh essay. balls.

stealers
liars
eric novotney
people that bring their crotch spawn to restaurants
white people with dread locks
nick cannon
shrimp

so there's a girl at work that mAx and i are not fond of. she ordered a shrimp alfredo and told mAx he could have some. he rushed me to the table so we could eat all of the shrimp ((and only the shrimp)) out of the dish before she returned.

i threw it up. i knew i didn't like shrimp, but i think i'm allergic.

way gross.

i'm too drunk to upload photos.

and still too angry and anxious to discuss this week.



jxnumbereighty-five isn't going to jail ((whew)) but has 20 months of probation, $4k in fines, 80 hours of community service, 2 months of anger management and 2 months of woman battering classes.

at this point, i'm feeling incredibly vengeful.

and then i went to andy's tonight...

heart vengeance.



here lies snowflake. 2006-2008.



worsehalfofjandl... it's not baseball or dead frogs... so check this shit! ((courtesy of rx))




jxnumbereighty-five said:

hey, man, what's with did you do to these brownies?

ix said:

hey, fam... hey...

mengtar said:

seriously. how many eggs did you use?

ix said:

back up.

mengtar said:

bwahaha. is this from a box? how many eggs did you use?

ix said:

i said back up!




also, i totally decided to hook up the photos anyway.



back up.

hotdogs, rootbeer, and sparklers on the patio of the olive garden.

happy independence day, everyone*.

((*exceptions include mike case and eric novotney... also laura derousselle and all the haters in the house and also on the block for that matter))

jxnumbereighty-five came back last night and conned me into hanging with the og crew that i would normally avoid. i pretty much wanted to shoot myself in the face until a few cats showed up almost an hour before bar close. that's okay, it made it worth it, so i forgive you.



also, these beers were un-legit. ((r2x brought them in))




also, he might be moving in with me. ((rock on))

table 401 said:

do you have coffee... from the hills?

mengtar said:

duncan hills?





((fifteen dollar tip. fuck yes.))

i was so crabby about my afternoon run sucking so bad that i decided to run again after work... another shitty run time.

but highlights of tonights run were:
mengtar not looking both ways before crossing the street and almost getting obliterated by a semi.
mengtar getting pokey grass stuck in her ankle ((in the dark, mind you)) and screaming "SCORPIONS!" and running to the nearest un-grassy area crying and almost coming to terms with jesus. ((jan would have been so proud))
mengtar forgetting to remove her headband pre-run and then pouting later because it's full of sweat and probably going to be smelly or discolored or something else unpleasant.

i waited on the principle harpist for the dallas symphony orchestra tonight and her husband who was some percussion head back in the day for the university of michigan. when i told her i was still debating going to school for music she said that i should email her a date and she could get me free tickets to the orchestra. ((bballa!)). and her husband invited me to some event that he hosts every december where the wind symphony performs. umm... also sweet. finish with a descently awesome tip and i was a pretty happy mengtar.

hey, mengtar, what are you doing on saturday?

teaching drum corps! ((it's whatever))



apparently to customers, this joke isn't funny...

customer said:

do you make your italian sausage here?

mengtar said:

no, sir, we don't catch the salmon here either.

he asked to speak with my manager... who laughed.

please don't speak to me when i'm trying to pee. after a few drinks, it takes intense focus and muscle coordination to pee and take your picture...



coming out of jupiter house yesterday for my pre-work coffee, i was greeted by little daddy who was cooking up some barbecued everything outside hooligans. he excitedly informed me that he had just received a shipment of FRESH NORTHERN WALLEYE!! ((definitely something to inform one about excitedly.))

something i learned pre-fresh-northern-walleye: nobody in texas knows what walleye is or gives a shit.

i worked. i came home and changed and ate the shit out of that walleye.



something i learned post-fresh-northern-walleye: fuck texans and their negative fish attitudes, because it was incredible.

i just wish i would have starved myself for a month prior because the filets were MASSIVE and i had to give the rest to homeboy whose reaction was, "it's fish". dick.

in more recent headlines, i took snowflake and wellington also to the vet for a check-up. i didn't learn until afterwards that most people don't actually take pet frogs to the vet... not for check-ups anyway...

the vet took a look at wellington also and his eyes got really wide.

"you're frog's overweight!"

wellington also is currently on a low-cricket diet. i feel neglectful. like i should be a guest on maury or montel williams ((because he's prettier)) as a mother with a 250lb. 8-year-old. that's my favorite episode.

otherwise my frogs are completely healthy. other than being neglectful, i am a great pet-owner!

watch your step, kids! don't do what i did which is step down onto the non-existant curb and slide underneath your own car and sit there for five minutes confused as all hell as to why you're sitting underneath your car. how much did i drink?!!?



also, i am amazing at navigating wal-mart, even when my eyes look like this...

special news break: tune in monday to see px drum with ray j on jay leno.

fuck. yes.

yesterday i drove forever away through farmland and cattle ranches to sherman, tx for og ct training.

waste. of. time.

i saw eight dead cats and a coyote. also, mckinney smells like rotten potatoes.

but they're going to pay me well and i got $.49/mile reimbursement ((which ended up being seventyish dollars. i can roll with that.

but i had to sit in a room with strangers ((eww)) that were overly excited about everything og. i was tired and less than thrilled.

speaking of tired, i think it's about time for a nap. yep.

pictures later because my camera is downstairs and my bed is here.

go px!

first and super importantly, i didn't smoke all day on purpose and i have only hated the past couple hours.

now, back in time...

i had the whole day off work thursday and was excited to get all of the things done that i have been planning to do for weeks... clean the frog cage, vacuum, wash my sheets, whatever.

i painted and drank beer?

i met up with sx and best friend at riprocks for wings and beer. ((special note: mild is still too spicy for mengtar.)) and i burnt his cute but waay too regular friend with my cigarette, which i find is the best first impression one can make if one plans on being awkward around them until... umm... forever.

and i met someone in the music dept. at denton high. he was asking about my tattoo. i told him that i will probably be at ryan high this year and he seemed most disappointed in me. they just lost their percussion instructor and he took down my name and number. ((fuck yes)) also, his friend had a hawaiian shirt. if i were to make a list of pros and cons of teaching at dhs, the guy in the music department's friend would be in the con list.

yes, it is that big of a deal.

i got to do some back-yard underwear tanning thursday too. in a wonderful 86 degrees, i also had to call home and brag to my mom whom still has snow. HA!

but my butt is red. whatever.

after riprocks, we went to some girl from work's symphonic band concert where i ran into old roommate cx. other than insults and sarcasm, we really didn't have much to say to each other. good thing we had to go find seats so i didn't have to stand around and err and umm around every other topic that lasted two sentences.

i was supposed to go home to shower and change into pants and then meet best friend at lou's, but instead i napped until about midnight. ((fuck!!!)) i woke up and hauled ass to the boiler room to catch an AWESOME band.

the sugar free all stars consist of a very bearded drummer and a singer/keyboardist that looked a lot like dr. green from oldschool ER but with no hair instead of not much hair. they basically rocked the house. they were great musicians and their songs were very silly. they also released a kids album a while back that apparently went #1 on xm.

holy impressed5000!

they also played a kids show in shreveport, louisiana ((for the northern readers, st. cloud, minnesota is to madison, wisconsin as denton, texas is to shreveport, louisiana))yesterday and another one today at the denton library this afternoon. if i didn't have to work, i totally would have been there. they played their hit "bathtub roy" at the show. quality.

in the restaurant business, it is common courtesy for the host to alert the server of any special needs your table may need before you greet it. real life examples may include: "your table is an asshole" or "that old lady's farts may sound like puppies, but they smell like carp!" or today's "hey, you're WHOLE table is deaf".

i didn't get that warning.

i approached a table and talked for a good 20 seconds before they noticed that i was there. i didn't realize they were deaf for about another 20 seconds after that. ((i had been working for 12 hours and i get slow and grumpy when i don't eat)) but we laughed a lot ((well, they laughed at me and i was tired and delerious)) and they left a note saying that it was the first time they had eaten at a restaurant and been treated like real people and that they had a lot of fun. and as a ps, they liked me hair.

basically, i rock at everything... all the time, says the deaf ladies.

the night only gets better...

my manager made hotdogs for everyone! if i never told you before, i LOVE hotdogs.

likes: hotdogs.
dislikes: hawaiian shirts.

also, i'm a horrible non-photographer.

also also, i've said it before, but i'm not a good fucking dancer and i don't need you patronizing me every mother fucking time i want to go watch a band. fucking get over it!

i looked at my frogs just in time to watch snowflake face plant into the wall trying to catch a fly buzzing around the cage. i love those kids.






today at the og, i was the alcohol-sales contest battleship captain of the 10.30 team. we were victorious with the sinking of three ships with only two misses! i won a black tie mousse cake. sweet.




last night best friend and i danced away to the sounds of soul kitchen at the boiler room while homeboy pretended that he didn't know me. dancing will not be photo-documented until homeboy gets his new camera that will ship in 3-5 business days, but i assure you, a quality time was had by all.







after work, manager wx asked if i would be willing to stop by wal-mart to purchase $40 of kale. have you ever seen $40 of kale? apparently og manager wx hadn't either. it's a lot of kale. i cleaned out wal-mart, kroger and albertsen's with $6.27 to spare. filled my entire passenger seat. wx was impressed and the og is forever debted for my services.

hungoverlor!!!!!!

i woke up in a world of pain and stupor and ever-so-slowly got ready for work.

i threw up flourescent yellow and it was actually kind of pretty.

last night ax was upset because she broke up with jx three weeks ago and he is ((already)) fucking other girls. i thought he would have been fucking other girls sooner, but hey. she was upset and it wasn't my place to judge her on that. she thinks that after being dumped, you should give the dumper a month and a half to get over you before you, the dumpee, sleep with other people. right.

but she's great.

my attic creature is moderately active today.

i got sent home from work for being entirely too awesome... and because they scheduled two people for the patio. poor dx was not happy about that...

dx said:

hey, let's play hand-clap games until we get a table outside.

mengtar said:

you mean, until YOU get a table outside.

dx:

what? wait... NO!! HOW?! UGH!!!!! i HATE you.

mengtar giggles uncontrollably and disappears into the fog. how mysterious. whatever.

so that means that i get to have birthday dinner with homeboy's family in lewisville and not drink because i'm pretty sure it would kill me.

also, self-guilt trip prelude to the real guilt trip that homeboy is going to give me later... i left the door unlocked last night so he could come over after he was done at the bar. since my roommates don't really stay out late, this has never been an issue. apparently that was not the case last night. cx came home after me and locked the door. homeboy showed up a half hour later and couldn't get in, called me a million times and i was drunklor-sleeping and then he had to drive all the way home. ((sorry, kiddo))

red dwarf equals effing hilarious.

i start my og togo training this week!

i got a mad splinter and i tried to pull it out and just broke off the end that was sticking out. great.

i woke up this morning with a no-longer-bleeding vagina and ready to jump a certain homeboy. but in his ever-so-snail-like wake-up, he realized it was 11 and was supposed to be working. biggest. disappointment. ever.

but then i got to sleep an extra hour and wake up to homeboy'smom'sx fresh blueberry muffins. fuck. yes.

i toast, therefore i am.

mengtar is feeling particularly crazy lately... look out...

red made my jupiter house mocha shake with peanut butter especially thick today. loving it.

bballa mike was hit by a car on his new motorcycle. no bueno. he's okay. fucked some ribs and the bike... but okay.

hearing the news made my heart sink as i am the mistress of what-if syndrome. i've come to accept my losses as of late, but anything more would put me over the edge and would officially be filed under "things mengtar is incapable of dealing with right now and could cause her to emotionally detach herself from human relationships even more than she already has." that file folder is quite large and has an extremely long tab...

you say that bff hates me because you're not sleeping with anyone else. i think you hate it more than she does.

there is a training class at the og with yet ANOTHER mengtar. this will be the third mengtar at the og. seriously unnecessary. seriously.

however, i had some fun at work today. first, i danced. a lot. poorly ((as i am incapable of dancing otherwise))

also, i had a trainee shadowing me. and he is a transfer from one of our partner restaurants. as he already had a feel for the system, i was able to sit back and bark orders and make wonderfully dry and overly sarcastic remarks the whole time. when he laughed i told him to shut his mouth while talking to me.

i was phased from my shift shortly after og trainer ex told me that we were done with the shadowing. i joked that she should have held out an extra ten minutes so i could have made him clean my section. she didn't think that was a horrible idea, so i had 3 rookies clean my section while i continued sitting back and barking orders and making wonderfully dry and overly sarcastic remarks the whole time.

i had them clean trivial things that we are supposed to do, but never actually get done like wiping down the chairs and checking for gum and things on the underside of the tables and wiping the railings and window sills for dust. oh fun!

while ex and i sat back and watched them do my job, i asked if i could just fuck with them a little bit. ex is getting old in her age and cares less than she should. when they returned from doing my job, i told them to grab a wet rag ((which they replied with "what's a raayyig?" fuck you non-minnesotans)) and wipe down the stone wall behind the family table... fun.

ex and i sat immediately behind them giggling. i love myself.

more on everything as of late later. smokes then homeboys.

done and done.

mengtar loves narcissists.

not in an ooo yeah, oh baby oh baby way... but in more of an i could chill with that mofo because they're practically bballa sort of way.

it's whatever.

by onepm i had realized that my whole day from the beginning was a bad idea. a new game was played at work. last cup didn't stand a chance to our new game of get sick and go home early game. the only stipulation was that you had to get sick by drinking WAY too much decaffeineted coffee.

fuck decaf.

i drank too much shitty coffee and was soo close to vomiting my very being all over the og. whatever. i banked and got over it.

legit.

((special note on bad idea from the beginning exceptions: morning sex and pre-work starbucks were great ideas. that is all.))

received a text message from the original ax informing me that ray davis and pocket full of blues was playing up at his bar, texas 8ball, tonight. and that they are "way badass"

i made a cameo. ((special note: any bar appearance lasting under an hour and a half is known as a cameo... starting now))

i enjoyed them. not as bluesy or jazzy or mellow as their name made them appear, but apparently i shouldn't name bands. it fit. they grooved like mofos and i thoroughly enjoyed myself. homeboy was not a fan.

((special note: homeboy pays dumb bitches to wipe their assholes...wow... just wow.))

iwrite music homeboy hates. homeboy equals hater... starting... NOW!

i'll blog the rest of my bar napking later. it's bedtime.

ps, bx says hi.

mengtar is anxiety central.

first off, she got screwed out of about a bill tonight. a party of roughly thirty came to the og and manager px told her that she wanted at least her and possibly best friend on it because of their strengths and teamwork abilities.

((which i find goofy because i hate teamwork.))

also, this may be the first time i have used the word 'goofy' in my blog... ever... making history. you just witnessed it.

but then kx ((the one that tried getting in my pants hardcore at the party with the boa constricter snake and whatnot where i came home crazy-sorts high and whatever. it's whatever.

so kx freaked the fuck out and i hate working with him on large-group tables. also, he's gimpy like riley. and wanted to be on the table but whatever. so i ended up not being on it with best friend and they made almost a bill each on it so i got fucked out of about a hundred tonight. fuck. him. and for once, several hours and drinks later, i'm not over it. i'm trying to run a business here.

then much later ((twenty minutes til close)) three ((large)) black women get sat in my section... now, on a completely yankee non-racist note, large southern black women at the og become ridiculous overly-demanding bitches after 9p. sorry, readers. it happens.

and then one of them says that she's going to go pick up her friend...

so i'm already crabby-as-fuck about the thirty-ish top i didn't get and my crotch started bleeding that evening ((thank god, but not)) and then i get bitches fucking me over hardcore when i've got drinking to be done on a monday night when i have to work at 6a the next morn. ((proud yet, ma?))

also, roaring concrete and steel washes you in blood. ((or something... totally whatever))

this is me continuing WITHOUT a doorslam ((jerk))

so i'm in pain with bleeding crotches and all and i have to put up with bitches and such and whatever i just wanted to go to homeboy's and sleep and cuddle and whatnot but he's like "no, your bff is at the boilerroom ((god, i love that place, buy only sometimesss)) and i went... you know, because my bff and all... and it was good minus dx and bxmx and then he's all super-insult-central because mengtars don't dance. don't. dance. at all. ever. great rhythm. exceptional, some may say. don't dance. whatever. not over it. fuck yourself. just because i'm not ultra-slut-whateverness that you're usually with... uh... fuck yourself.

am i saying that? yes. it's whatever.

also, i may have been drinking. i'm over it.

so i'm just going to continue being whatever and angry and not dancing at all ever until there is a timequake in which case all free will end for the time-being but in that time i will decide to dance and confuse everyone because they will continue what they did the first round and not dance unless that is what they did the first round and that will be completely whatever.

whatever.

((count the whatevers and i will continue not giving you five dollars.))