dear minnesotans,
i live in denton, tx.
denton is not on the seacoast.
no hurricanes are hitting denton.
you can stop calling to warn me about the tornado or ask if i plan to evacuate.
please.
love, mengtar.

or maybe i'll just take the other one out...

but i like them...

((le sigh))

no, i don't know how to make the video stop playing!

hung.

i still felt sick and mopey last night and was supposed to go to the blue condition show at the door.

bailed.

then cxpx called to ask some stupid question...

cxpx said:

so what are you doing tonight?

mengtar said:

i don't know. probably just stay home and rest a bit.

cxpx said:

aww... are you throwing up?

mengtar said:

no.

cxpx said:

do you have a fever?

mengtar said:

no.

cxpx said:

then wipe the blood off your vagina and go get something to drink!

well worth it.

the rest of the night was NOT worth it.

my nipple ring fell out in my sleep and now my boobie looks naked. i found the bar but because it was out all night, i can't fit it back in.

FUCK! i only slept like 4 hours! how does that shit heal up so damn fast!?!? i hope rx is still doing piercings so i can get this fixed. FUCK!

FUCK!

((fuck))

insomnia 2, mengtar 0.

occasionally, in the wee hours of the am when everyone in the house is in a deep sleep, i throw down on some assassins creed. i don't like people watching my play videogames. i'm not sure if it's because i'm afraid they'll be condescending because i'm not good enough, or just because i waste my time playing videogames. regardless, i'm sure i'd be unable to offer a quality rebuttle while rescuing the citizens of acre.

ix and i are getting tatted and pierced next week. i'm pretty beyond excited.



after i arrived at work this morning, denton became allergycentral5000. i started scratching my eyeballs out and made homeboy bring me my glasses. outgrown cute haircut, unbathed and unwashed face, no makeup ((per usual)), and i had to wear my glasses. all kinds of unattractive.

also, my glasses make me angry. the stronger prescription gives me a headache and has a jekyll-hyde effect as i morph into angry-mengtar. i accept it and expect everyone else to just deal.

every time i change snowflake and wellington also's water dish, wellington also runs a red-light escape drill. he has yet to jump. maybe he just likes the view.




i started slacking on my running and smoking cutback, so hopefully tomorrow i can kick my ass with a 3-mile and some gym-time with bballamike.

maybe i should just start drinking and cut my hair tonight. i'd feel more productive about my insomnia.

or i could hydrate for tomorrow's workout... nope.



i can't find my scissors. haircuts will just have to wait.

previously, i have had no problems leaving my lip ring out for several hours at a time.

for some reason today that was not the case.

ouch.

if my face is black tomorrow, it might be tetanus.

after a full weekend of eating, i'm almost surprised i didn't come back more than 6 lbs. heavier... oh well.

i don't remember piercings hurting this bad the day after... sad panda.



the lizard on my kitchen window watched me make tuna and shells with velveeta. it was basically wonderful.

i want to sit at jupiter and smoke a thousand cigarettes right now. there is always tomorrow.

hopefully i'm not fired in the morning.



one of my bosses is okay in person but a complete ass over the phone.

that has made me realize that if i ever met one of you comment flamers in real life i would goto jail for busticating your face. don't worry, i planned some non-violent things i could do that would not get me sent to jail.

i would spit in your or my drink and toss it on your head and then if the authorities were notified i would say THIS FUCK HARASSES AND STALKS ME CONTINUOUSLY DAILY ON MY BLOG AND LOOK NOW THEY ARE SHOWING UP IRL. also i am better looking so that is also in my sympathy-favor.



you have been warned.

broadcasting live from heather's macbook in minneapolis, minnesota... savemengtar productions is proud to present... mengtar!

yeah... that's what i imagine playing every time someone reads my shit.

get over yourself.

so. starting friday. i drove myself to the airport. ((mistake number one)) the airport has two points of entry. the north and south. and has 6 parking lots. north/south remote parking for $7 a day, north/south express parking for $13 a day, or terminal parking for $20 a day. i enter dfw from the north. north remote parking is full. however, i have plenty of time so i drive to the south remote lot because i'm poor. full. i drive back to the north end ((while getting lost a few times in the turn-around)) and the north express parking is also full. by this time, i don't even time to drive back to the south end to see if the south express parking lot has space, because if it is full, i will probably miss my flight since i will have to drive all the way back to the north end to find a parking spot in terminal parking, and even if there is a spot, i will have to park and then find a way back to the north end to get to my gate.

::sigh::

alas, i parked in terminal parking, right outside my gate and am paying a shit-ton of money that i do not have.

through all of this drama and frustration, i started getting really upset and almost crying because this was the first time i've ever had to drive myself to the airport. john has always brought me to the airport.

i get inside the airport and am working my way through the security line. just as i handed mr. 80-year-old-security-guard my tub of posessions to push down the radiation slide, my phone rings. i grabbed to look at it. john. cue freak out! i answer and tell him that i'll call him back in a minute. i decide that i want no setbacks so i take off my belt and my flip-flops. i get through security after an eight minute search for a lighter that was in my purse that old-man-river was too blind to find and i called john. just hearing his voice i immediately started crying, which gave me quite an audience... it was good to hear from him.

lance picked me up from the airport and we chilled at joe senser's with his brother until sarah got off work. also, lance's brother is gorgeous. 26. but gorgeous. i hate being single and looking at guys that i can't have. i just want mine back.

drove home.

sarah ate lots of grapes.

the grad party was alright. it was good to see some people... less to see others. jon wainright was there. we caught up behind the garage over a few smokes. also got in touch with a dude i hadn't seen since i was 15-16ish. he was much cooler ((and attractive)) than i remember him being. we chilled at his house-in-progress on sunday before i left for the cities. it's kind of weird when you feel an attraction towards someone even though you're completely in love with another.

wainright drove me to the cities. got my lip repierced. they put in a glass retainer that is a lot more visible than i had hoped it would be. got my ear reguaged. they used glass for that one also. i like it. i'm at an 8. i think i'll move to a 6 later. whatever. got my other nipple pierced. he used a curved barbell. i think my other might be straight. but i like the curved better, so i might have to get another curved bar. he was nice and gave me a lot of free stuff and also recommended a shop in texas for me, even though it's a few hours away.

too many mosquito bites. sadly, i think most of them are from texas.

went to heather's house down here in minneapolis. chilled with her and allison. did some catching up on everyone's lives. it was fun. i've missed them so much. i found it harder than usual to talk about john, though. maybe because they are so close and they can see through me when i lie about how i feel. they also had a few things to say about her. things i hadnt heard about when they were up for camps and such. i really hope this is working. they are supposed to have a laundry day today, so i should be hearing from him soon...

just sit around and wait.

pictures will be added upon my return to texas.

you've been fed.

a few days ago i was bored in my room and decided that i needed to get some piercings like... now.

i decided that i was going to repierce my lip, reguage my ear, pierce my other nipple and possibly do my eyebrow.

then i decided that i shouldn't do it in texas because i don't know of any reputable establishments. other than the beer barn. i hear they do a good job. but i refuse to get pierced or tattooed where they also sell beer.

then i decided that since i'm going home for my sister's graduation party next weekend that i could get it done my last day there before i get on the plane and still go to axis piercing/steady tattoo.

also, if you are in the midwest and looking for a tattoo or piercing. go there. i don't care how far. they are the best and don't overcharge. also, they are the best.

then i decided against the eyebrow one for now, even though it was a cool piercing that looked like this: .\' so the jewelry is z-shaped.

so... depending on when i leave minnesota and how i'm getting to the airport... i may come back very pierced. which is exciting. pictures will follow in usual fashion.

ahhh crazy crazy.

so here is what has been happening i guess. my family visited and i had to relearn that some people never fucking change and some things will just always be fucked. it was a less than friendly reminder of how much i hate everything in my life.

also, apparently secrets are for suckers.

i repainted my bedroom and bathroom and it is basically amazing. i kept some of the ugly wall paper and i might put it in a picture frame like john stamos ((still hot)) did with the pink bunnies.

i painted. it is the flacid version of my favorite penis ever. i miss him.

i almost hit a baby bird when i pulled up to the house after work. oh yeah. work. i like my new job. i make more money and the people are generally about the same on the coolness spectrum. i'm also still pretty reticent, but not unlikeable. however, i need to get better at opening bottles of wine.

but i should not practice by opening bottles and drinking them. i'm pretty sure i'm giong to stop drinking for a while. apparently i make bad decisions when i drink. bad decisions four times. i'm also noticing that most of my anxiety attacks are now when i drink. yes. that will have to stop.

maybe smoking too. maybe.

we watched the twins lose to the rangers 4-14. i wanted to cry. i didn't even stay throught the 8th inning. it was that bad.

abby and justin broke up. i haven't heard from her which is odd.

i saw where jfk was shot. it was alright. apparently that's where the grassy knoll is. the more you know.

i bought new socks and they are practically beautiful. new socks are the best. now i don't have to do a load of laundry every 5 days between real laundries just for more socks. my sock drawer is bountiful.

i also bought a new tie for work. as it turns out, you can't put ties in the washing machine. i refuse to take them to the dry cleaners. therefore, i will wear dirty ties to work always.

i'm going back to minnesota in a week and a half. i may be getting some piercings while i'm there. it is possible.

9 flags in the bed of his truck. over the top by definition.

after work i visited cathy at wing pit. she was bored and insisted on me staying for 4 hours. she even put makeup on me... a very productive day for cathy. however, i keep rubbing my eyes and it is all coming off. that is not okay.

i'm so unmotivated to do anything but drink and smoke. but i think we already went over how i'm probably not doing either anymore. well, after kyle buys me a new pack of smokes because his dog chewed up a full pack. bitches. then i'll quit.

don't think twice, it's alright.