oh yeah! pictures!



oh, look! you had hair once! how adorable... but the short is waay cooler because then strangers don't talk to you in public because they're afraid you're going to cut throats. wait... what's on your shirt?



OHH... they SUCK! well that's nice... and is that a 1991 homer hanky on your arm? classy.



also, i am the culinary master of brooklake street.



((master))

nursing my alcoholism... er... baseball anxiety with a betwixt class beer... or two...

whatever.

6.30p can't come soon enough.

i'm fuming with pride in how my incredible structural functionalist paper turned out. and i printed it at kinko's on super-quality paper. ego-feeder5000.

also, i washed my car.

also, it's fucking beautiful outside, and my allergies are fucking my world. balls to that, sir.

also, somewhere on campus ((outside the library, i believe)) kindablack-kx is having a poetry slam... battle... thing... join mAx and homeboy and i and maybe piercer too... no... i'll not invite him... i'm playing THAT card...

because i totally thought kindablack-kx told me that it was 11am... turns out it's pm... or so mAx and i believe... i don't really know...

did i mention i'm retarded?

also, i feel like, and am pretty sure i've lost about all of my muscle mass and gained a million fatty-pounds and am half-dreading starting soccer next friday, but am five-fold excited about it... so that still puts me 4.5 up...



also, thank you for joining me at hooligan's, my daytime drinking bar... and sometimes at night too.

gooo tigers!

so

the chisox are a half game behind.

so

they are playing a makeup game against detroit.

and

if they lose, the twins will be in the playoffs

but

if they win, they will be tied with the twins

so

they will have to play a tie-breaker tomorrow.

...

i might have a heart attack before wednesday.

i lost last night's post of how amazingly my pinot noir compliments red baron mexican pizza...

but tonight...

you wouldn't believe it...

columbia crest pinot grigio and hotdogs...

enjoying the intensity of the fast approaching baseball post-season... with class.

we're gonna win twins
we're gonna score
we're gonna win twins
watch that baseball soar

knock out a homerun
shout a hip-hooray
cheer for the minnesota twins today!

i showered last night but i still smell. i can't figure out if it's because my insides are rotting or because i'd been out of deoderant for the past few days.

t minus two minutes to twins vs. chisox!

also, kill for the kingdom has a myspace page now.

welcome to the major leagues.



((not really))

my next paper...

relations between the great northern railroad and the mesabi iron range.

telephone interview with my crazy uncle much?

also, there's less than a dozen games before post-season and we still can't stay ahead of the chisox for more than a day.

it's going to come down to next week's series and panic is setting in...

((breathe deep and drink))

i think my dead friend is visiting me in my sleep. i enjoy it, but i'm not sure if that makes me crazy, or if i should enjoy being crazy as well.




also, the district attorney is a bigger cuntfaceloser than eric novotney and refuses to fight for any more money than my deductible, when i clearly deserve more. after all, i'm not a car theif.




i was boycotting blogging because i was bitter that i broke my camera in a state fair defensive head-butting battle with mnhomeboyax. if i had kept my pig ears, i totally would have won.



courtesy of wally the beerman, i had apparently drank a few summits...




did you know that honeybees live from 25-35 days? but the honeybee queen will live for 7 YEARS?!? mnhomeboyax's dad's cousin-through-marriage-maybe said so. i'd want to live during her younger years. milfs rock.






we spun some wheels...



to win some prizes...



again... we may have been drinking...



i'm a server.



we like pens.



don't judge me.



and the republicans even came up early!



how supportive!



supportive enough to swing our votes!



reagan 08!



i regret it... i totally should have bought this...



i've wasted $30 on soo many other wastier things. soo many.



i was more than ready to leave minnesota.






even though it's a very... artistic... place?





i'll settle with content for now.

nathan blew it in the bottom of the 9th. they should have pulled him immediately. instead, we fell 2-3 to the athletics shortly after the chisox fell 2-8 to boston... putting us a half game back... still... fuck you.

and being 3.5 games behind boston for the wild card slot, we can't afford to be making these mistakes.

((i'm going to go cry myself to sleep until fair day tomorrow))

it's been forever and i have zero photos to show for it.

i'm over it.

in recent amazings, the twins have found their way back to a half game above the chisox.

ultra-vintage-emo-kidx from jupiter house is now one of my new roommates! sweet! there is now an even ratio of people i can tolerate versus people i want to curb stomp in the house... if i include myself to improve the ratio in my favor...

happy minnesota day tomorrow!

((when should i get my new tat?))

i can't fucking believe i could be this fucking stupid.

did i really just schedule my trip to the great white north while the twins are playing only AWAY GAMES?!?!?!?

FUUUUCCCCCCCk!

also, congrats to pat neshek for getting a 2008 topps allen and ginter's card!



((kind of a big deal))

top of the 8th: twinkies 5, tribe 1

top of the 7th: chisox 2, kc 12

in three more innings, the twinkies will be leading mlb's al central!

it's about damn time!

the twins are closing in at a half game behind the chisox.

and you love me more than i can imagine, so i wait until you sleep and i step into traffic.

also, tc bear is now the 2-year mascot home run derby champion!!!




go tc!!

also, way to go american league! it only took 15 innings to win, but for the first time ever, the american league will be taking homefield advantage in the world series for the TWELFTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR!!!!

also, justin morneau won the homerun derby. go 33!

but seriously, i want my license back.

also, momx flies to texas tomorrow.

dinner party thursday.

bbq stylee.

your votes are in!

congratulations to "hot ass" joe mauer, justin morneau, and joe nathan and good luck in the mlb all-star game july 15th!

get ready for major league baseball's interleague play intra-city weekend!

yankees vs. mets
white sox vs. cubs
angels vs. dodgers
athletics vs. giants

attempts to control the excitement in your pants are futile.

after nearly a decade as our best relief pitcher, juan rincon has been struggling the past few years. yesterday, the twins gave him the ultimatum of being moved to the rochester triple-a or end his contract and become a free-agent.

rincon is a free-agent.



and after losing torii hunter to the angels, he was the most... veteranist... of the team... ten yearsish i believe.

whatever.



we'll miss you, 39!

((also, i set my webcam to take pictures of my reactions every minute and a half... lucky you))




i missed morneau's homerun in the 10th due to my 45 second ass-explosion. it was pretty intense. 9-8 top of the 10th.

i'm sure you care.



((and you're welcome))



in other news i have neglected to share, best friend got married. however, he's unable to drink anymore at all ever and doesn't really hang out anymore. boo hiss. but go best friend!



joe nathan just replaced jesse crain. joe nathan is our number one relief pitcher, and also number one in relief pitcher hotness. number two in overall hotness, second only to the gorgeously incredible joe mauer.



we're gonna win twins,
we're gonna score!
we're gonna win twins,
watch that baseball soar!
knock out a homerun,
shout a hip-hooray!
cheer for the minnesota twins today!



((9-8 f/10))