in clerks II, randal escapes his life troubles by temporarily closing the movie store to ride go-karts. it enabled him to escape his realities and return to the simpler times of his adolescence.

i achieve this through hotdogs.

and now i return to my paper...

also, i'm going to have to watch this movie far less sober... for even further enjoyment...







((i heart fantastic planet))

omg. my last night in st. cloud is being spent drinking rum with my mom and kittens and watching the muppet movie.

i'm two minutes in and i had forgotten how many great zingers are in this movie. i can't wait to take it home and watch it every other day and memorize it and use all the good ones against homeboy.

also, after watching DEATH RACE at the movie tavern ((tropic thunder was sold out, but totally worth it for the whole action-so-ridiculous-it's-comical thing. and seeing a naked jason stathom wasn't so bad either.)) i made my way to visit with wx over more beers. wx is a football guy, but was in drumline his first year of highschool.

but here's the exciting part...

wx said:

yeah, our instructor was really nice, but he was a fucking perfectionist. we could play the greatest rep and he would still find something wrong with it. pipitone.

mengtar said:

what?? pipitone?!

wx said:

yeah?



mengtar said:

jj pipitone? THE jj pipitone?!?

wx said:

you know him?



((i called buctrose immediately))

dadx said:

saturday night... popcorn, fudge and watching heart and souls movie... wish you were here.

mengtar said:

i had a shiner black beer at movie tavern and watched the new hellboy2 movie. i wish i was there too.

dadx said:

i'd rather watch hellboy and have a black.



i take my hydration very seriously.



my afternoon of greatness and drinking and watching the twins game at the bar and more drinking and then watching hellboy2 and still drinking came to an end right about there.

there was a 180 mood change once i got to jupiter. i'm pretty sure i'm premensing. look out, kids, i am bad attitude central.

i mean, i wasn't completely unprovoked.



ugly kid in a pantera shirt wouldn't leave me alone. i'm wearing headphones and reading a book. do i really look like i'm welcoming a conversation?

luckily homeboy texted me to meet up again at coolbeans because there was some kicking music. too bad i STILL don't have my id and STILL can't get into certain bars certain nights of the week.

fuck texas.

and fuck the minnesota dmv.

i went home to play some splinter cell. ((tom clancy video games: mengtar's guilty pleasure)) but the fucking new roommates are playing ironman, which is lamecity. not even tom clancy lame, because, like the rainbow six games, it is at least fun in the "i just want to kill some bitches" sort of way, but it has reached a very true and genuine level of lame that can only be matched by sporty velcro sandals and muzak.

at least i had the time to hold up the bathroom once i got home to take an explosive dump from my movie tavern cheese pizza. ((special note: mengtar loves cheese... also, mengtar has a lactose intolerance... also, mengtar doesn't care, it's totally worth it))

about a minute later, bballamike called to tell me that the dude playing at the garage "is soo amazing" and that i "haaave to be heere!!!!" i played off the whole "awww... that's too bad, i totally would go if i had an id" but really i was just screaming in my head because i'm sick the bullshit. i hung up the phone and threw it at the wall.

then i pooped some more.

today was waaaay eventful...

my camera was found in a car that was reported stolen four days after mine. it contains pictures of the car thieves ((plural being five)) doing blow in the back seat of my car. i get it back next week.

snowflake finally ate the cricket that wouldn't shutup.

i'm getting more money from my rental claim than i ever thought they'd offer. i will be paying off all of my credit card debt. fuck. yes.

i'm no longer worried about being able to afford my trips to san antonio and minnesota.

i saw rx's face. ((you're still pretty, hun, but OUCH!))

i didn't fall asleep during the movie, although i had every intention.

((just think, in ONE WEEK, you will get to see all of the pictures of everything that you never cared about))

but then i came home to a reminder that a definite end is probably in the near future, and we'll still never talk about it, but i know you'd rather have it done already.

((if you'd have only asked, and i'd have only known, i'd have moved to houston with you))

so i was at yetanotherjx's place last night watching some quality slaughter films when tx called to shoot me an update...

rx has been in an accident.

((gasp))

he was on his bike.

((tears forming))

and he hit a curb.

((try not to laugh))

and he's in the hospital.

((wow))

broken rib, broken face, and probably concussed.

i'd like to imagine it looked sort of like this... but with more blood... and it wasn't at cool beans...



but the word this morning is that he's getting a metal plate in his face. that's hardcore, man.

congratulations, rx, you've out-badassed me.

in honor of working double-shifts the past three days, i decided to celebrate by getting schwasted each night and barely sleeping.

it was for the best.

made it out to rubber gloves for the first time ever, and it was pretty alright. perfectly dive and IN denton. ((anyplace that regularly serves dollar peebers ((also referred to as pbr's or pabst blue ribbons, for you southern-folk)) is officially an a-okay dive in the book of mengtar)) met up with rx and tx and their friend from austin. the last wednesday of every month is apparently art night. five people draw on canvases for five minutes then rotate to the right to add to the next persons' drawing. pretty kickass.





also, i think this guy also did the illustrations for the music video of aha's take on me.



also, tx is amazing and i would offer to braid her hair, but it was already done.



i talked to a lot of strangers that bought me a lot of shots and i was a lot of okay with it and will never remember any of them and they will approach me in public in the near future like in the produce aisle of my grocery store where i will be forced to pretend that i enjoyed it.




also, rx'saustinfriendx worked on special effects in the new incredible hulk videogame.

mengtar said:

isn't almost EVERYTHING in videogames special effects? what was your actual contribution?

rx'saustinfriendx said:

i added blood and explosions.

mengtar said:

he demands things to be awesome.



((sorry, ladies, he's taken))



post-rubber gloves awesomeness, tx drove my car back to my house as i was ((un))deniably drunklor for post-bar drinking.





windsor + cream soda = mengtar never leaving the house.




i don't remember much else happening after that other than rx reappearing from the backyard to see his girlfriend and i displaying our titties. un-suprising un-awkward.



((special note: titties were further explosed than photographed))

no. this is NOT batman.



last night was a different night of sorts.

i was again accompanied by rx, tx, and rx'saustinfriendx to throw bones and watch the golden compass.

fuck you, i love nicole kidman.

if the golden compass had been filmed with our drunken commentary, it would have been award-winning. but it did feature a polar bear with a whiskey dependency...

holy shit! my attic creature IS MY GOLDEN COMPASS DEMON!

does chris weitz read my blog? ((don't you dare comment on how he was only the director and didn't write the book or the script just fucking get over yourself))

((groundbreaking))



as much as i still want it, i'm no longer allowed to get this tattoo because apparently every hipster in the world already has it and i don't hang out with hipsters. go back to art6 and work on your cause.



also, i would like to offer a public apology to rx for crossing the line of homester-status. i'm glad you were cool with it, but it's not something you'd have to worry about in the future. the chain is on it.

this is not my butt.



this is my summer:

congratulations to sisterx for finishing her first year of medical school! ((yay))



a film to add to your list of silly movies: forbidden kingdom.

wow.

great fighting. bad acting.

it's a story with an immortal, wait, he's actually mortal, but NOW he's immortal alcoholic, and a white kid whom is a prophet that can't act, and a girl with horrible grammar and refers to herself in third person ((she's lucky she was hot)) and a monk... with no personality flaws that i can remember...

another film to add to your list of bad movies you enjoy: mind killers.

starring... ll cool j!

a handful of fbi profilers are put on an island to solve a simulated serial killer case but... then it turns REAL.... REALLY predictable! the serial killer is profiling them and setting traps based on each agents' weaknesses.

at the end, you find out the killer's weakness: bullets. ((a legit ll cool j quote. your welcome))

FINALLY a good movie was put in, the machinist, which i didn't even finish because it was far too late. but christian bale is like 120 lbs. ((ew)) but whatever, i'm sure i'll be able to mock it later.

also, my car smells like cherry limeade too. ((sorry))

i will NEVER watch this movie.

i downloaded j's recommended ((necessary)) dvc player. but the player stops working when i open the movie file.

he referred me to an afterdawn.com how-to guide that comes complete with download links and explanations on the whole coding-decoding, file compressions, and vlc vs. mkv shit.

i get it. all of it... i think.

i read through all of it start troubleshooting with the videoinspector software. this is supposed to read your disc or file and tell you what software is needed to play it. it refers me to many other pricey ((not free)) software companies.

no bueno.

luckily, there is another troubleshooting option, which is a diagnostic test run directly through the matroska ((mkv)) site ((who i'm assuming is responsible for all this vlc videolan crap)). however, that page no longer exists.

how convenient.

maybe i was right. this dvd would be better off used as coaster.

it's not so much that i drank too much last night as much as i just drank too much all day.

i started my day with lunch at chopstix with sx. i showed up early and had some shiner so i could keep drinking while she was there and only look like an alcoholic in front of the waiter. i'm not above that.

couple beers to hold me out the rest of the day.

sobered up at jupiter and talked to a good friend for about 4 hours.

went home to ((drink)) make banana bread... and i learned that i should never cook sober again. here is an incomplete list why:

i'm more inventive.
i become ((fearfull)) cautious around ovens
i photograph!

i don't have the patience for lists today. i already started the laundry, cleaned, and vaccuumed, what more do you want from me?

don't worry, i will also provide some step-by-step instructions on how to make my amazingly simple banana bread of awesomeness. later.

i rewatched sweeny todd. my new favorite tragedy. still love it, and not because i'm swooning over johnny depp... whatever.

caught up with homeboy ((to drop off my banana bread donation and for intense cuddling)) and watched jet li's unleashed. suprisingly good. fewer fight scenes than i had ((hoped)) thought, but there was actually a decent storyline... and morgan freeman is a blind piano tuner with the personality of every morgan freeman role he has ever played... but i still love it.

i also watched the first third of sawIII. ew!!! just like sawII, i closed my eyes during a gross scary part and fell asleep. i deserved it.

UPDATE: also, while i was sitting at jupiter house for forever, jx and Max ((not to be confused with mAx or max)) walked in. i was on my laptop and had headphones in. i looked up and smiled and waved. Max gave me stinkeye and jx just looked at me awkwardly and gave a half-wave. less than a half wave. let's go with a fifth. he waved at 20 per cent capacity. unacceptable.

they got some coffee or whatever and i figured they would say hi or jx would give me a hug or something since every time we talk he goes on and on about how he's "still crazy about me" and whatnot, but when i looked back up, they were walking out.

who the hell do you think you are?!? i know you know that i'm kind of a big deal, and just because your bff hates me doesn't mean you should be putting on a fucking show just because she's with you. we're not together and despite your continued fantasies, won't be getting back together so why are you continuing to lie about it?

whatever.

news flash: all dogs go to heaven 2 sucks.

that is all.

sitting inside jupiter by myself, i'm always sure to sit obnoxiously close to my laptop for minimal over-the-shoulder-peers. i'm also sure to spread the rest of my belongings across the table to ensure that no one else will sit by me.

and tonight, being just like any other night, someone tries to sit by me. usually i look around nervously and pack up my shit and slide as close to the wall as possible before he notices that i haven't showered or finds it necessary to peer over my shoulder or compliment my scarf. but one thing was different tonight.

i said no.

to a stranger.

and instead of walking across the room, he sits right fucking behind me.

so while i sit here, formerly content with my crossword puzzle from the quick paper, i turn even more awkward and paranoid than previously thought possible. and with this paranoia comes sensory increases. i am more aware than ever of every whisper and shifting stool behind me. i can feel him. he's trying to look over my shoulder to ready my blog. gross. i don't even let homeboy do that. who the fuck does this guy think he is!?

i think something is wrong. i think they put super extra lactose in my shake. my stomach is cramping and i'm getting chills, though i've warmed since coming back indoors. i might have to become a legit non-dairy person soon.

in more positive news, the worse half of j and l has clued me in to a website of most amazingess. hulu.com has loads of streaming videos... including ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN!!!!!!!! fucking yes. i laughed, i cried, i sang along, it was a grand time i had all by myself. perfectly grand.

how much better/more pathetic can it get? female twenty-something home from work with particularly great hair rolling around in bed in her underwear crying at animated dogs in streaming video... sounds like a singles searching ad.

whatever, i'm going to go home and shit/puke out all my innards before my intestines implode. fucking dairy.

i saw the bank job ((awesome)) and dark city ((wHeird!)) and i've been experiencing extreme levels of paranoia since. i'm not afraid of getting killed or robbed or taken to an alternate-universe to live a life with someone elses personality and memories... but i really really don't want any strangers to talk to me today. maybe because i really haven't had to talk to anyone the past two days because i haven't been working. tomorrow could get interesting.

i waited to pay off an entire credit card before buying my laptop.

i think i'm going to pay off two before i buy my camera. i think that is the ultimate decision. and if i'm lucky, i'll get one for my birthday and not have to worry about it and then i can go on showing you myself and my friends and the things that i look at in beautifully-focused high-resolution photography.

i don't want to be at jupiter house tonight, but there's really no place that sounds more appealing. two days off work and i'm feeling slightly ridiculous.

i had an idea for a great list. le sigh...

also, bballamike, sorry i missed you playing at the garage last night. i didn't get your voicemail til after work and homeboy was writing up a heavy lab report and i just wanted to watch who framed roger rabbit because on the new og shitty music soundtrack they have an old frank sinatra song that i couldn't figure out how i knew it but i only knew the line "although i know it's strictly taboo" but the rest of the song wasn't familiar at all and then i figured out that in the ending battle between eddie valiant and judge doom ((after you find out he's a toon)) eddie pulls out the singing sword and it's frank sinatra and that's the line he sings...

mengtar just scored an all new low on the excuses used to not see bballamike play meter... 4.

but she also just scored a possible all-time high on the longest run-on sentences ever used in her blog meter... 122.

every now and then i'll be super-girly-emotional for a day...

i just cried at the end of air bud.



i'm just glad i have to go to work because i think if i sat through the sequel, air bud: golden receiver, i might need to seek counseling.

this will be the best and also fastest post i've done standing.

i hurt my knee joy-jumping in my kitchen while reheating some pizza because i was listening to a story being told in excess. completely unnecessary.

i am officially a college applicant. transcripts and all. hence the joy-jumping.

i talked to strangers all night a few nights ago. it was probably one of the greatest times of the last week. i don't know anyones names but they were alright peole.

the first dude i think did a lot of meth or something and he gave me his sunglasses when i came out of the bar and he said that i looked beautiful in the not-hitting-on-you sort of way. and this other dude that was giving him a ride home for money was like you're super cool in a totally-hitting-on-you sort of way but that was okay because he was waay cooler.

then i talked to people i knew for some short minutes and talked to this other dude that i met only briefly but was super cool and i took pictures and i need a haircut bad now because i look at old pictures and get hair ency for myself.

over it.

and now i have to finish beer and go to bed i guess because too many people checked into the hotel reservationless and we will have a busy breakfast and i hope i bank hardcore because i just spent too much money applying for college and getting transcripts and i also have health insurance so i can FINALLY go to the crotch-doc.

whatever.

photos of everyone i hate later.

i also saw there will be blood the other day all the way down in grapevine which always seems excessive but the seats are comfortable and make me want to nap a little and i did but the movie was pretty cool and had great moments and could actually be quotable if i stayed awake during it about 15 times which i should totally do with smartass if he ever visits me in denton. but i hated the music. the composer was johnny greenwood or something like that but it was all either atonal or dissonant until it ended with some fucking vivaldi or some shit. fucked up. not okay with it.

done and done. beer then bed.

mengtar's mazda has TWO fully functioning windshield wipers. imagine that!



the other night at work, a certain rx decided that i had been acting differently as of late, as if i was reflecting or in deep thought about troubling issues too often for rx's approval. we discussed a few recent events and changes vs. stagnance in my relationships with people. people of note were the roommates, the family, the close friends and a particular homeboy. rx decided right out that homeboy had to go and that i was being used for sex and whatnot and that i am too eligible to continue playing these games.

i laughed.

hard.



my only arguments were that we also cuddle and that we also hang out during crotch-explosion weeks.

rx considers these investments.

but i also love playing the safety games. more entertaining than balls.



so rx decides that it would be in my best interest to invite me to a movie that is actually a snakey pukelor set up double date. gross. it wasn't horrible. i mean, i got a free lunch and movie out of it. but vx was obviously more entertained by the idea of being on a date than i was.



but he was nice to look at and laughed at my jokes while making little attempt at humor himself. it's whatever. some people just aren't funny. you can be extremely attractive and not funny and i can pretend to be into that... i won't pretend very hard though.

he said he liked bob dylan too but i think he was lying. i didn't care enough to call him out on it though so i just gave him an "oh, yeah? cool." i'm that cool.

but i went through the whole date ordeal with no awkward anxiety weirdness or blurting out semi-offensive word mix-ups like "is my coffee done?!?" or "why come there isn't spinach in my salad? i mean i how! i mean indians!" as i run into the bathroom to shame-pout by myself.



i saw cloverfield. i'm not sure how i feel about it. i think i'll go again before developing an actualy opinion other than the fact that i enjoyed the cameraman's banter.

"rob, i think it's time to leave the electronics store."

whatever.

much later, cx and i went to el guapos to drink daquiris and watch her friend play violin in a mariachi band. very entertaining.






i worked super early and came home to my bed being emptier than i had left it. this is the face a mengtar that is disappointed5000. in one picture i'm upset about empty beds and the other i'm upset about needing a haircut. can you tell the difference??



((me neither.))

i don't know much about george a. romero but jesus balls, ANOTHER zombie movie?!? ((okay, so i'll still see it))

i am officially in good standing with the city of lake dallas. fuckers.

and if i get another speeding ticket, i'm going to sell my car and buy like eight laptops.

i could go on forever about my hatred of clogs. however... i needed some new work shoes before my knees exploded into someone's chicken scampi so i went to foot solutions down in highland village or justin or lewisville or something and had a long talk with mike casey who is one of those mega-awesome old guys that feeds you compliments and you don't mind because you know he means it because he's just that sweet and old. and he convinced me that clogs are okay and i wore them around and i almost cried because they feel that amazing and because i'm a little emotionally vulnerable but mike casey and i didn't talk about that. i was saving that for my next visit.

but anyway... i have the most amazingly comfortable ugly shoes ever, and i'm okay with that. and after i correct the way i walk and how i distribute my weight when i walk, i can get the super cute shoes that i wanted. because apparently if i get them now i will be in a world of hurtin. thanks mike casey!

dr. phil is talking about his disapproval of girls who post suggestive photos on the interwebs. sorry, phil. we will agree to disagree on this one. i will put up photos and stories of myself in compromising situations for all of my future employers to see. i'm over it.

apparently i need a black and white nuetral-faced headshot of myself. but i'm definitely going to need a haircut first because the super cute blond girl that had aids in the movie kids has given me this ridiculous case of hair-envy and i'm not that okay with it. maybe i should just take a shower or something.