so i've been eating bran muffins for a while now. i really like them. and pooping.

so i was pooping at work. in the handicapped stall, because it's roomier. i like to refer to it as the luxury stall.

and i'm mid-poop when i hear a mom and her kid walk in.

and i notice that i didn't lock the door.

and the door is out of reach.

and i didn't want anything to drip inside my pants because... ew.

i panicked.

luckily, they picked the two other stalls.

also, i need soccer shoes. and a nap.