adventures of the socially awkward shopping by themselves:

as i'm checking out my ass in the target dressing rooms i get a phone call from dude. his "cousin" smoked out last night and has a drug test in 3 hours and is wondering what to do. i say dialysis and diuretics. apparently i'm the only one who thinks i'm funny.

also apparently the word minnesotan is not phonetic. kill babies.

as i'm standing near the hamburger helper section later completely zoned out thinking about zombies i am approached by this dude that i don't remember ever seeing or meeting. but i think he might be the dude in the pictures i found on my camera after some drunken night of him passed out in his underwear. no clue where these pictures were taken or who else is in the pictures. except me.

but dude approaches me and remembers my name and is all "yeah, that was some crazy night..."

we are not friends. do not approach me in public.

awkward.