i'm not one to usually regret my actions. and though i'm not typically thought of as a very nice person, i think i treat people fairly. a week ago i would have been fine with the way everything ended.



but now that you're actually leaving and i've had time to think about the time we spent together and why we lost touch, i'm starting to feel the same way about you that i did months ago.



the question i refused to answer wasn't because i'm a counterfeit. i don't feel the need to prove anything, especially something i'm not proud of. ((not a regret, just not proud of it)) but if i were to give a fitting answer, there are no gains or losses. if i were to give a non-fitting answer, you have nothing to gain and i would be labeled a liar. what satisfaction would you gain from my fall? with only hours left, i don't know why you would try to manipulate this.



i had very strong feelings for you. a head-over-heels complete infatuation. and your habits were the only thing preventing a legit relationship. even now, after hours of thought and beer, i'm not sure how i could have pushed away something that was that real.



and for what?

completely indecisive and insecure casual sex with people that i can't even seem to look in the face most of the time? strange, that there was always a certain confidence i had with you but the idea of being in that much control made me feel wreckless and self-destructive.



you leave denton in the morning, and i'm scared as balls to come over.

((i'm sorry))