what the fuck does tim alexander need crotales on his set for? seriously.

((seriously))

not all the cigarettes in the world can stop the jitters and feeling of constant anxiety for no reason today. it feels like i'm coming down from a mediocre two day cocaine blitz. i hope i sleep later.

curly-haired pretentious man from jupiter house is also a packers fan. one more reason you should hate him too.

also, i am the everything of anything that has ever been awesome.

in honor of your bad attitude about hating my year ago todays... ONE YEAR AGO TODAY:

I was listening to an interview on the radio of this guy who just wrote a book about pigeons. Holy shit, pigeons are mother fucking cool!

And now for cool things about Pigeons:

1- They were domesticated at the same time as the dog.
2- You can place a pigeon anywhere in the world and it will find its way home.
3- They can sense the magnetic pulls of the Earth with magnetic sensors in their corneas and craniums.
4- They are the "rock doves"
5- They mate for life, and give affectionate kisses with their beaks, which is where "Lovey-dovey" comes from.
6- Sent messages up and down the Nile in Ancient Egypt.
7- Poop 25 times their weight every year.
8- Saved the "Lost Battalion" in World War I.

((after williams' tackle at the end of the 4th))

sportscasterx said:

williams just got baptised exclamation point.

mengtar said:

what?!? he said that??? seriously!!!?

tx said:

williams?

and i hate everyone.

mx and sx should finish cleaning and have coffee with me because i am full of ants today.

last night kicked my ass.

and taco bell quesadillas > taco cabana quesadillas.

and i'm not sure why i have bite marks everywhere or how i feel about it yet, but don't think that you can get away with all of that when i'm sober.

and old gray-haired dudes doing karaoke are fucking great.

and i totally thought sneaky pete's was a strip club until last night.

and i'm sorry for texting the entire world last night.

and i forgot to bring my camera to karaoke.

and i suck.

i wore my poetry slam outfit to the string orchestra concert. perhaps i should have gone for a more pretentious look and had an ultra-long stem for my cigarette and spoke with a french accent. or maybe if i would have worn my skirt and leg warmers. yes. that would have been it.

real oh-gees don't smile.



the last conductor had crazy hair. i think he just got back from a poetry slam.



before i left for the concert i was super-hoping that they would play a debussy piece. for no reason other than that his music is amazing and i LOVE it.



AND THEY DID! there was a mad harp feature. fucking great.

bballas know what's on the repertoire before it even happens.

halfway through the concert i started giggling almost uncontrollably ((which totally negated my poetry slam outfit, by the way)) because i remembered a concert we did in toronto. as we exited, exex faceplanted off the stage as he was under the impression that the stairs wrapped around the whole stage. they did not. nobody helped him. we all just laughed. only because it was him. i miss that kid.



also, my hair was black and had streaks of dark blue. whatever.

but i was quite impressed. congratulations to cx on an excellent performance and a thank you to kx for joining me.

also, toronto is a baller city.

so my boss just called and said i have the night off. anyone want to watch the UNT strings concert with me?

when cx was telling me about it, she kept using the word repertoire. all i could think of was reptar. not even close.

can you tell that i don't work this afternoon?

my latest obsession is playing wall street survivor. while most college kids are putting together a fantasy football team, i'm putting together a fantasy stock portfolio. it works like this... you get $100,000 in fantasy cash to spend on the market. then you tell your family and friends about how you're a stake holder in Google (GOOG) and Apple (AAPL) and Coca-Cola (KO). you also start to put ticker symbols in your everyday writing. after you got your $100,000 portfolio setup, you turn on CNBC to wait for the opening bell, and then watch your fantasy money leave you. it's like the real thing only without all the stress and pressure of losing thousands of dollars every day.

my stock story thus far. i went for the big expensive tech stocks because i'm a nerd. large helpings of Google, Apple, BEA Systems, Sun Microsytems, plus a few other companies that i go to on a weekly basis, like target. my portfolio exploded to net me a cool $1,000 in the first hour alone. "awesome! screw this college shit. i'm going to become a stock trader!" and then i lost $2,000. so while 1g in the red, i had some time to think about why i just lost so much money so quickly without the aid of illicit drugs or prostitutes.

but hey, it's fake money and its a really cool way to learn how to invest. i can make some pretty expensive mistakes without actually risking any money. if you decide to play on wallstreetsurvivor.com, send me a message. my login name is save_mengtar.

i decided just now that wednesday is officially no secrets day. it could last forever or it could last until tuesday. i haven't decided to remember yet.

if we don't have sex, i masturbate every time you leave my house.

nap time.

also, i do NOT wear hipster clothes.

my fashion style is kindergarten.

i decided i needed a sandwich. as i was getting out of my car my stereo was blasting a clever tune about someone being welcomed to hell. you may have heard it...

stereo said:

WELCOME TO HEEEELLLLLLL!!! WELCOME TO HEEEELLLLLLL!!! BLEEAAAAAARRRRROOOOOORRRRGHHH!!

old lady parked next to mengtar said:

well that's a cute little song.

mengtar said:

thanks.

then i proceeded to lock my car door with the key in the ignition...

((fuck me))

so i got coffee too.

my mom is demanding a xmas list. i imagine this list reading something like:
laptop
everything

that is all.

for the first time in a while i think i might be standing in a financially decent spot. i'm not worried about rent. i'm confident i'll be able to pay all of my bills on time this month. i'll be able to pay off the rest of my mattress shortly after. ((fuck yes)) and i even took a full week off work this month.

SOMEBODY is feeling pretty bballa!

((unless there is a magic bill that i forgot about that just hasn't come in the mail yet...))

also, mengtar and mx will not be sassed. oh no ma'am.

something you may not have known... mengtars don't respond well to your ex's name. especially after a night of you being uncharacteristically ultra-possessive.

no matter how much you've drank.

no matter how much she's drank

no matter how much she likes the sex.

la mengtar no le gusta.

((livid))

and now i'm over it.

check it, fools.

i have done fun and exciting and completely photoworthy things the past few days, but since i have taken no pictures, i will not tell you about any of them.

that is all.

xmen 3 was pretty alright. i made it through sort of. ((with a little nap and purring along the way)) but i think i was woken up for all the important and baller parts. ((thanks))

i was supposed to work at 11.45 this morning. i woke up at noon in lake dallas. it was not a happy time. also, i couldn't find one of my socks and forgot my sweatshirt.

((balls))

i work at 6am and can't decide if i should just go to bed or go get a drink with ax.

bx said:

birds can't breed in space.

mengtar said:

maybe he should know that.

sx said:

would you two just fuck already!!

mengtar's face said:

????????????

((wow))

i've officially worn out my welcome. every time i decide not to leave, i regret it.

((fuck this place))

FUCK TODAY!

thanksgiving was alright. my unapproved wardrobe was "cute" and "nice" from reliable sources. ((thanks guys)) i only had to dodge relationship questions from two family members, and only one relative asked why i moved to texas. i hesitated and said, "school?" tx laughed and ((someone)) almost hit him.

mengtar does not have violent characteristics...



this time i charged my camera battery... but didn't put it in my camera. mengtar is a dumbshit.

we went to the bar shortly after and found a jmx and i drank enough zeigen bocks to unquit smoking ((FUCK FUCK FUCK DAMMIT I HATE MYSELF)) and pass out two minutes into watching grandmas boy. ((another time perhaps.))



i had a crazy dream that i was fucking this dude i work with and he pulled out and i grabbed some kleenex that were by the bed because i didn't feel like swallowing. and he came in the kleenex and i grabbed them to dispose of them and there were WORMS!!! not like earthworms, but parasite worms! like planarians and shit! ewww!!! and then later in my dream i was fucking tx and started crying because i was probably giving him worms and i told him and he was all comforting like "oh, that's okay, hun!" and i was like "no!! you don't understand! i think you have WORMS!!!!"

::sigh:: boys just don't get it sometimes.

now i'm feeling really paranoid and i'm not going to fuck anything for months or until after work...

why can't i have GOOD sex dreams with hot guys with big dicks or sweet lesbian shit or something?!?!?

i woke up with a horrible hangover and it felt like the worms were in my brain and eating the back of my eyes.

i also heard the news that torii hunter will be playing center field at the twins home opener! in an ANAHEIM UNIFORM! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? fuck anahiem.






also, i'm planning my birthday party. it will be 3 days long. april 25-27 and will consist of drinking overpriced beer and eating overpriced hotdogs and watching the twins kick the shit out of the rangers!!!! ((sans hunter))

48, it was a good run. 15 years is a lot of time to give to any team. we enjoyed our time with you, and you will be greatly missed, but seriously... fuck anaheim.

woke up with a weird groggy stuttering mess in my head. that's what happens when you chase your tylenol pm with beer.

nothing beats running when it's 40 degrees outside. maybe i should come home around the snowflake shuffle again... they did have the best shirts...



i was crazy-mad when i got back from my run, because cx had already left. there was no one home to approve my thanksgiving outfit. pants vs. skirt. quite the predicament.

mx got a package from camel yesterday. a zippo and a shit-ton ((okay, like five)) of coupons. he left the coupons for me. NOT HELPING!!!! but i will keep them just in case...

then i remembered how weird and awkward i will probably be, because i will be sober and i'm really never very sure what to say to peoples' parents. so i decided to have a couple beers before leaving the house. also, not helping the fact that i really want to be smoking right now.

also, his ex that i feel excessively weird about works at tjs/the boiler room. i'm not sure how i'm going to feel about hanging out there like ever...



"hi, i'm tom peters, and i'm full of ideas!"

((hate you))

it has also come to my attention that after a few beers, my bathroom sink is totally a cool place to sit and just hang out.

also, what would you do if i didn't have a blog to keep you completely updated on the everything i do always?



masturbate more. that is all you would do.

i'll let you in on a secret. ((this isn't worth it))

oh yeah, and sx:



212 days... you in?.... again?

also, cx, this is san antonio. i went ahead and deleted the ones that were waaay too blurry or were of my pretending to iceskate. ((what the fuck was that about, anyway???)) you wanted it before thursday and i couldn't come up with any more blog posting because i seriously have to get some shit done tonight.

except this... my good ol buddy nate called me!! he was more drunk than me ((as usual)) and we had a beer together. well, him in minnesota and me in my kitchen. he told me that we have to call eachother more often. we came up with a rule of "drinking four? call some more!" any time either of us consumes more than four alcoholic beverages within four hours, we have to call eachother.

exciting.

but i don't think he knows how i often i drink.

there were a lot of "what the fuck"s and "this is bullshit"s and "i take full responsibility for my half of the blame"s. i giggled and cathy just stood there looking confused.

rightfully so. rightfully so...





























also, the rest of them are for me to use. sorry.

last night was the most baller time to be had with no camera battery. ((boo-hiss)) jupiter. andys. BOILER ROOM!!! ((new tj's))



the boiler room is FINALLY open. beautiful inside. bar highlights:

working toilets.
hugelor projection screen ((perfect for football and karaoke)).
beautiful bar.
wonderful home-like feeling that i haven't felt in a bar since old tj's.



so afterwards i went to homeboys and watched blazing saddles. ((purely silly)) and passed out.

i meant to wake up at 8.30 so i could do a practice-run on my thanksgiving hairstyle. ((a success)) i don't want to look all scraggily for his family's bird-day dinner. i take my holidays very seriously. but i ended up waking up at 7. i got bored staring at the ceiling giggling at stupid nothings inside my head, and i tried waking him up. that only lasted as long as the festivities. it's whatever. i had some serious hair-business to take care of.



shortly after arriving to work, he sends me a text message....

tx said:

what time did i leave this morning?

now, a question like this presents a problem on a couple different levels.

1- we stayed at his place.
2- i left before him.
3- before leaving, i woke him up and said "it's 830. i'm leaving."
4- maybe i'm wrong.
5- what day is it?
6- oh my god, i think i just traveled time!
7- oh, no? it's still wednesday?
8- i'm so confused.

worked all day. some of my tables were very generous. not enough of them though. too bad. i hope they have a crappy thanksgiving and their turkeys are dry and pies are soggy and their children resent them for it.



also, i'm 3 for 3 on days of running and not smoking.

i forgot to buy crickets yesterday. petco was closed when i got off work. they will be closed tomorrow. ((sorry, snowflake and wellington also. i still love you and might even stay home tonight to hear you sing me thanksgiving morning holiday songs in the morning... maybe... like whether or not you will eat, i make no promises))



happy thanksgiving, everyone! ((except mike case and eric novotney and all the haters in the club))