Saturday, May 05, 2007

UGH!! white people dreadlocks...

dear loser,

allow me to take my frustration of the past few weeks out on your fucking hair and the bullshit ideals you think you subscribe to and the message you are sending out to the world by the atrocity that is the garbage on your head.

this is the message that i get from you:

"i am a useless lazy weasel with no independent thought whatsoever. i smoke weed and spend hours in my wayne's world type basement twisting and tugging on my puke'locks for hours on end listening to UB40 and reggae two-step ranting to my friend who is even a bigger loser than i am." ((i know, i too thought it was not possible for there to be someone even equal to myself in loseritude, but yes, my mind is also blown, as it is blown very easily like, whoa, pop-tarts in a blender with milk, that just came to me like NOW!))

you know, it's pretty unmagnificent that your idle hours are devoted to maintaining a bird's nest. you took perfectly nice hair and ruined it. oprah would fucking kill you! i am going to write her a letter. oh man. you are entering a world of pain now, boy. she said once that she always wished she had white girl hair.



dear oprah,

there is a problem i feel you need to address once you are finished with those school daughters you kidnapped. anyway, the problem is white people and dreadlocks. when i see them out on the town with their fruitful arrogance like they are better than me because they have chunks of crap hanging off their heads, what do i do? rock? or fist? i can't decide.

these twats are spoiled in the worst way like their parents just fucking gave up on them. fine, spend all my money and turn yourself in a troll. what can i do about it?

ps. this is very important to me. it's okay when other people are wrong when they think that they are cool. i can deal. but when someone's personality is defined by their nasty hair, it makes me sad. they may as well have a snake that they carry around on their shoulders and wear a shirt that says, "i bought my personality at the pet store."

pps. i have mentioned the term "white guilt" before. dreadlocks will not erase your pampered and privileged white devil past, they only make it that much more glaringly obvious you stupid dick. you are not a rasta prophet. you will never be. so hand in that starbuck's application.

please advise,
xoxo mengtar



fuck, i wouldn't even let you go down on me lest you give my inner thighs grease rash and zits. ew!!

yes i am better than you.

with my free time i blog. i entertain people with stories and pictures of my adventures. i do not entertain them with dreadlocks.

mengtar: 1, dreadlocks: 0.

one more thing. you are trying to portray yourself as this type of person who does not care. who is laidback and breezy. but i would have to call bullshit on that because the hours you spend on your hair = caring.

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