cx said:

HEY LITTLE GIRL!!!

mx said:

hey punkin head!!!

cx said:

how's my lady?

mx said:

your lady is experiencing massive degrees of awkwardness.

::director's cut::

mx said:

so how have you been darlin? i can say "darlin" all country-style because i'm in the south now. haha

cx said:

lol good good.

mx said:

any intimacy issues or new pets you feel you should tell me about? haha

cx said:

lol umm... no, I saw my lil kitty over the weekend. ACTUALLY!! Yes. This weekend was FUCKED up.

mx said:

haha yay!

cx said:

So Saturday there was this female that invited me to the sox game. right. so I go. we get wasted. and she's all on my shit, right. Cool. I've no problems with this.

mx said:

no, no problems... except it was a sox game... boo.

cx said:

But then after like, an hour of her dry humping me, right, which I've been bored with for about 3 years now, yea I hate baseball, so no worries. She's all like, blah blah blah blah, will you go down on me? And i'm like, sure, I love doing said action. Right. You know what she says to me??!?! Guess.

mx said:

and pee in my butt?

cx said:

nope.

mx said:

close?

cx said:

even that would have been cool. Nope. She was definitely having her period.

mx said:

ohhh......

cx said:

............................?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!?!?!?!

mx said:

whoa.....

cx said:

What. The. FUCK. Like I said, I'm all about it.

mx said:

wow...

cx said:

but... uh... as a general rule.

mx said:

yeah.... wow....

cx said:

not really around that mike jones.

mx said:

haha.... uh... wow...

cx said:

and that was the night after these two girls from high school who I hadn't seen in six years assaulted me in the bathroom. That was drunken, sloppy, and awful.

mx said:

haha

cx said:

I ran.

mx said:

oh... that bad?? is it because you didn't like them, or because they were just bad at doing what they do?

cx said:

they were bad. VERY. And all talking to each other gossipy and whatever.

mx said:

what???

cx said:

right. exactly. not interested.

mx said:

what kind of weirdos are you doing up there, honey?!?!?!?

cx said:

Hey, ya know, the Friday was not planned, and I was hoping for the Saturday to go a lot better.

mx said:

yeah, obviously.... that's still tripping me out dude...

cx said:

No shit, right.

mx said:

like.. i've been getting periods for like 8 years now, and i'm still 100% disgusted by it.

cx said:

And then it's like, I'm not selfish or anything, but if you're gonna ask something like that you better offer up first. Cause that is weird.

mx said:

yeah

cx said:

at least, I mean, I'll still say no. ;-) hehe.

mx said:

haha

cx said:

but i'd go to down after that's all done and such.

mx said:

well, i mean, i ask guys to go down on me... but not selfishly... knowing for sure that i would return it.

cx said:

right, exactly, exactly. That's all I'm saying. I'm all about it.

mx said:

but man... that's worth like 5000 dicksucks... at least. because... ew.

cx said:

I just burst out into laughter at work. thanks. :D

mx said:

hahaha awesome!

cx said:

my boss is like, what?! and I'm all like...... NOTHING.

mx said:

so what happened after that... i mean, yeah you were all freaking out on the inside... but what did you actually say to her? "sorry weirdo, i'm not into bloody vag?"

cx said:

ummm, well, I didn't look her in the eye and say "I don't even eat bloody cow meat". which I wanted to.

mx said:

hahahahahaa!!!!

cx said:

I just politely declined and passed out.

mx said:

that would have been awesome!!!!i would have driven to illinois just to high five you, man!!!

cx said:

lol :D I shoulda. shoulda.

mx said:

next time the opportunity arises... you should say that and then yell "ZING!!!"

cx said:

lol will do!!!!

mx said:

and then call me and we will giggle like children.

cx said:

lol

mx said:

like, right in front of her.

cx said:

awesome. I will do.

mx said:

haha, now i'm all giddy. like it's actually going to happen in like 2 days or something. haha

cx said:

lolololol

mx said:

okay, i have to gather some roommates so we can go get some food.

cx said:

ok lovely. be easy.

mx said:

be easy... would i have it any other way?? ;-) peace.