well, most of my anger has subsided, at least temporarily, and i have become completely overwhelmed with rock-bottom depression. i hope their pleasure was worth all this pain. and i hope she enjoys everything that i love about him, but something tells me that it just wasn't worth it.

the doctor put me on some anti-anxiety/depressants. so far, nothing. i'm doing worse than before and am downright miserable. i can only keep food down half of the time. i can't sleep more than two hours. i have anxiety attacks. i pretty much hate myself right now.

i had an anxiety attack at petco. great. now i'm no longer the cool one that buys crickets, but now i'm the cause-a-scene anxiety-attack-girl. fucking great.