i don't even fucking get it anymore.
two weeks ago, john didn't want to be with me. a week ago he said that he wanted to work it all out and that i should go away to school with him. now we are apparently back where we fucking started from???
i'm a strong person.
i'm not strong enough for this.
i love being with him. and i want more than anything for all of this to work. and honestly, the good times we have together and the love i feel when he holds me is worth all of the crying when he tells me these things.
i don't know what i'm doing.