ONE YEAR AGO TODAY...

I hate people who line up at the coffee station and wait for you to do the whole sugar and cream and lid thing. They are standing there with their black coffee all self-righteous like they are the most considerate person in the world, because they have the patience to let you have the coffee station all to yourself. It makes me want to turn around and say something snarky, except I haven't thought of the perfect mean thing to say yet.

Maybe if I threw all of the sugar packets into the garbage in front of them and poured the cream and homo milk and 2 per cent into that drain thing and put all the stir sticks in my pockets and crumpled up the lids one by one and turned around and said "Shoulda got here sooner" then left, I think that might work.

The looks on their faces when they are waiting is what really sets me off, it's sort of like the same look bitchy women have on their face when they are holding the door open for you at the mall, except a lot bitchier.

Next time I'll do my sugar/cream thing really fast then let them at the station, but then act like I forgot to do something else and wait behind them and sigh as loud as I can and roll my eyes. The I'll exclaim "IF I WANTED A COLD COFFEE MAYBE I WOULD HAVE ORDERED ONE!"

I could go on and on forever about this. I mean, MORE THAN ONE PERSON CAN USE THE STATION AT ONCE!!! IS EVERYONE ON CRAZY PILLS HERE!?!?!?

Part one: Public Statement of Adoration.

B-Rose, do not let numbers cloud your vision. You will always be my little raspberry pie (ð) because I love you too.

Dan was soo right. I need to stop dicking around with all this TNG and review the basic Star Trek Classics: Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.

Holy shit. Why is that the funniest movie in the universe? For those of you who are unfamiliar with the plot, Kirk goes back in time 8473873 years to capture two Humpback whales in order to save the entire human race.



Kirk says:

Scotty we have to find some humpbacks.

Scotty says:

Humpbacked... people, sir?

Kirk says:

Whales, Scotty! 45-50 feet long! About 40 tons a piece!



Scotty:

Admiral! How am I going to handle all that weight?

Kirk says:

You'll work it out, Scotty. And remember: two of them. It takes two to tango.

((later))

Kirk says:

Well, Spock, thanks to your restored memory and a little bit of luck, we are in the streets of San Francisco looking for a pair of Humpback whales. How do you propose to solve this minor problem?



Spock says:

Simple logic will suffice.