mengtar has given up on decisions.

and homeboy doesn't like dick in a box.

also, he hates me with every fathom of his being... seriously?? wow...

words, dude. words.

thanks px.... ((i guess))

23

nobody profits from that.

we have ROCK BAND! and i'm not going to leave my house forever.

i didn't think i drank that much last night... but apparently i was incapable of driving or closing my bedroom door or at least trying to be quiet while having sex when my roommates are in the next room playing guitar hero or remembering that i had sex at all in the morning or waking up to get to work at 6am or show up to work at all or show up to my lunch shift that i didn't even know i had gotten someone to cover at my other job... completely incapable.

then i tried calling my boss like a bajillion times but his phone doesn't work. balls.

this dude i grew up with in rice, minnesota moved to vegas about a month ago. today he informed me that he is planning on moving to south padre, texas in a week. i got all excited and started planning a trip but then he re-messaged me and said that he decided he was going to move to san diego instead because he broke his hand beating down a mexican in a bar for slapping his wife. the lack of correlation doesn't really surprise me.

also, apparently i have to move to LA and hang out with px if i want to be with the REAL bballas. word.

i woke up at 5am in a sweaty mess.

my fever broke.

then i anger-showered and went back to bed.

gross.

don't take my silence as me not caring. and if i don't hug you, it's not that i don't want to. i just want to stop this screaming inside your head.

oh yeah. and merry xmas to everyone. even the haters.

wow... commenters are so funny. and original. also, you're not invited to my birthday party.



xmas went well. i was feeling less than festive because i had started and finished a bottle of merlot while doing some holiday baking and painting the night before... THEN went to cool beans for beer and shots and to play darts with best friend. also, i apparently met another jx who texted me after i left asking if we could "hook up" that night. i didn't even remember responding. good thing. upon my bar arrival i ran into a girl from holiday inn and a couple old movie tavern people. it was good catching up with that crew.



update: the new jx just texted me asking if i had a myspace... some people just got no game.



i played fight night round 3 on 360 with some work dudes. we had a few drinks and got wicked-high. ax was over-complimenting and kx was creepy-party-dude the whole night. later i realized that it wasn't because they were so high, but because they wanted to get me into a threeway with the snake. i might have been willing. kx has a 60 lb boa that is incredibly badass. i carried him around for a while... then i lost circulation in my arm and he started breathing heavily on my neck... done and done.



and the coming out of the woodwork award goes to.... sxrx!! glad you're well. good to hear from you. for the unaware, sxrx is a fellow rice-kid and a percussionist. he stole a marimba from st. cloud state university once. but he got caught. one day the cops showed up and his dad called me and asked if i knew where he got the marimba and i got all nervous and shifty and was all "uh... i don't know". apparently when he went to court, he just had to give it back and write a letter of apology to terry vermillion. i like his name so i will use it. i imagine the letter sounding like this:

dear terry vermillion,
i'm sorry i stole your marimba.
love, sxrx.



homeboy and i saw sweeny todd last night. AMAZING!!! i don't remember smiling so much during a movie... wait... yes i do... i'm not there... damn... but it was still amazing! great performances, amazing music. AND jxeightyfiveorwhatever was there with his crazymx so i had to do some ninja vanish moves until we left the theater. there were a couple close calls. i mean, god forbid i would have to actually SOCIALIZE!!! ((gasp!!)) i'm a complete dork and loser yet soo much cooler than anyone you've ever met.



this is what i look like when i'm dressed for success.



after the movie, we finally got over to ax's new bar, the texas eight ball. we shot some pool and drank some beer with the company of the original ax. also, he covered our tab. i might have to go back to fucking him if he keeps that up...



apparently cx moved out. huh.



i don't remember getting THAT drunk last night... but i know i woke up with no panties... this isn't supposed to sound insulting or mean that i don't like sleeping with you, but i have no idea if i had sex last night.

we were looking for beerpong balls and found some surprises. these are memories i will supress for years.

i just wanted to watch cadd shack.

instead, kx and i went to albertsons. we couldn't find any balls with the bells inside them. i didn't stand a fucking chance. the same fucking stick that michael was with. couch. appareltnyl this kid kcan't com e to anything. that is all i guess.

but not really. because i'm starting to get angry again. maybe it's because i'm drunk. maybe it's because i haven't been sleeping. but dude... seriously... we are overdue for a discussion of what the fuck is going on because i'm not appreciating the awkward lac of openness and story switching bullshit that we both know is bullshit becaue we both do it to eachtoher mesufe.

i don't think i've o[pened my eyes throughout this post. so good luck fuckiners.

::heart megan))

no amount of 66 swings can make not sleeping any easier.

don't wake me up unless it's fuckgin great.

i am exhausted. physically. mentally. emotionally. but still... sleep doesn't come.



but i'm developing a theory... to be continued.

also, i was supposed to buy two bottles of wine after work and drink them both and paint xmas shit. neither happened and i'm angry.

whatever. watch this and be happier and miss b-town with me.

it came in the mail today. yay!!! i think i'm going to be more excited than homeboy when he gets it... but that's okay.

the og conned me into working all day so now i feel exhausted but still can't sleep. ((story of my life)) but i had forgotten my phone at the house so i couldn't even stay entertained sending text messages.



between shifts i went out to my car for a smoke and to listen to some music and drum on my steering wheel and whatnot. locked my keys in my car.

((fuck me))

and i have a spare key on my kitchen counter.

((no cell phone))

so i sat on hold with aaa for a half hour and they showed up in the middle of dinner rush. fuck balls.

at least the engine wasn't running... just the electric part... but regardless... fuck balls.

also, because i didn't have my phone, i couldn't find out if kx was staying in
denton or going to houston today, and it turns out i totally bailed on him again... because i suck... hard... at all of it.

yesterday i saw a marimba in the back of a pickup truck. it made me miss these kids.

today is the day that everyone calls and write and ims that mengtar hasn't heard from in FOREVER!! i got a phone call from my sister that i haven't talked to in too long.

mx from legacy called to catch up on the good times and wish me a happy holiday. ((i miss you, mx, and i'll plan on taking out a couple ankles around may... i hear san antonio is lovely that time of year...))



kx who has been ignoring my everything because he thought i bailed on him some night forever ago when in reality he had bailed on me. holy role reversal, right?

drum-corps-mx representing indiana stylee and i had some interesting talks. he hated laura before it was cool.

and it's always good to hear from px ((almost daily))and actually be at my computer to resond ((almost never))



but to keep with the flow of the day...

mx said:

is it warm there? I like no snow it is cool at first and then it sucks

mengtar said:

it hasn't been that warm. its 40 now

mx said:

texas that is shit

mengtar said:

i miss the stinging cold. i want like three consecutive days of -8.

mx said:

yeah it reminds you that you are alive and at least you know it can't get any worse than it is now. it is all realitive to different levels of crappiness in that kind of condition. I mean beer is the only real thing that can make you forget you live in a fucking hell hole

kx said:

family at all for christmas?



mengtar said:

i'm doing xmas day with homeboy's family and then a bunch of my friends are going to the strip club for their annual "xmas with titties"



kx said:

you should get a banner for that definitely.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

as many of you may know, some time ago mengtar was engaged to a certain jx for just under a year. however, three months after she moved her ass across the country for this wonderful specimen, he started fucking a certain laura derousselle ((more commonly known as cunt-face-slut-bitch))... IN DECEMBER!

moving on...

when mengtar discovered that their relationship wasn't being flushed because of their own problems but because jx is a lying whore-monger, she went down an epic spiral of depression, drug-use, anxiety and alcoholism that she hasn't started pulling herself from until the last couple months.

mengtar dropped out of school. she drank til her kidneys bled. she lost 30 lbs. in anxiety-attack vomiting. she was unable to sleep by herself. she passed out inside petco. she fucked a lot of stupid people. she pushed everyone away.



and then they started a relationship.

cue transformation into angry-mengtar. picture the hulk... only an anxious alcoholic.

a few aspects have improved. mengtar drinks less. she eats and doesn't throw up. she stay conscious. she can sleep by herself at times. and though the wall is intact, she opens the door for a couple friends on occasion. ((ballers only!))



and now for the good part... ((man, i love facebook))

December 10:
Laura is going to be in Denton this weekend.
December 14:
Laura is in Denton being with Jx.
December 17:
Laura is back home until the next time she goes up to Denton.
December 18:
Laura is debating the options left open to her.
December 19:
Laura has decided that she hates you.
Laura hates you so much right now that she shakes uncontrollably and vomits when she thinks about you.

get over yourself. you actually thought it was going to work? seriously?!?

anyway, if you need me, kx and i are going to addison to do some joy-drinking. i'll be the one laughing uncontrollably at the predictability and lack of irony of the situation you put yourself in.

also, laura derousselle, fuck you.



ps. while you were together, i fucked him out of the vengeance i had for you.

broadcasting LIVE from the holiday inn:

now, in late-life realizations with mengtar: i like pumpkin pie!

so nights like this when i'm in the mood for nothing ((not even whiskey or cigarettes)) are when i start thinking... what if i just went home... am i conditioned for a 15-hour drive? would i miss this place? what about toronto?

i can't stay here forever. and i have the feeling that when my time comes, it will just be over. little packing. no peaces or dueces.

i even doubt i'd be better off elsewhere. maybe because i have moved to a different state for the past four years. maybe denton just feels too familiar. this stagnance is making me ill.

don't get me wrong, it's not that i don't enjoy my time here. i have the best friends that do great things for me and that i would do about anything for. they buy me drinks and mattresses and kick out exes and give me hugs and listen when i need it. but sometimes i feel the reason i haven't left is because it would be too hard to say goodbye.

maybe i just need a vacation home. maybe because homeboy is running off to visit friends in cities that i'm missing people the most. ((chicago and baton rouge))

i hope staying here another year isn't a mistake.

maybe i just need to get out of this airport and into this wheelchair, i've got better things to do than looking at you...

TWO YEARS AGO TODAY:

How to be a Small Town Slut.

Blowjobs.

First thing's first, you have to give blowjobs. Like, all the time. And you have to talk about giving blowjobs to your girlfriends on the bleachers at the baseball diamond. This trashy girl asked me if I ever gave a blowjob and I said no. I was thirteen. She cut me off and said she swallowed the cum and it tasted like salt. I asked if she would get pregnant and she looked up and to the left like she had no idea and went, "Um, no I am on my period now." She had a dirty backyard too and I almost stepped on a soiled diaper.

You have to have a dirty backyard if you want to be a small town slut.

Back to blowjobs. Now, we have all heard of a girl who gave some guy a blowjob in front of his buddies after he threw a blanket on her head. This is truly something to aspire to. Especially if she's doing it for weed.

Handjobs.

I know I've jumped the gun and went straight to blowjobs but still, a handjob is where it all begins. ((after french kissing)) and is quite essential in the mastering of ones craft.

You can't be shy. You can't have shame. You have to grab crotch.

Lean against those cinder blocks and take out his dick and spit on your hand and move it around all over the place. He's probably baked and shy and insecure of being a high school dropout. Really, he's romantic and has a big burning crush on you but still, he will be forced to tell all his friends about your shitty handjob.

This is a good thing, because then everyone will know you are a slutface and will invite you over to smoke weed in hopes of a handjob.

Being felt up.

Okay, I don't know what fucking show you used to watch or what novels you've read, but no one says "being felt up." ever.

I don't know what we say. Probably, "Oh, I grabbed her tits," or " I sucked her boobs."

Whatever.

That's just uncomfortable and boring most times because you have to look down at this loser trying to get you all hot by gently nipping at your under-developed nubbies and now he's seen your dirty shit-bra.

The only good thing about having your tits sucked is you get to hold your soda and your smoke and you don't have to do anything but wait for him to get a boner and then you can go to town on it.

Kissing.

You have to use your tongue. There is no question about it unless he knows you're super trash and wants to go straight to a blowjob.

This is fine.

If you want him to fall in love with you, you might want to but some hot breath action on his ear and make youre voice all throaty and go, "Damn, I wanna suck your cock so bad," or whatever dumb things you think of.

If you don't know how to kiss you are a tardbag and should probably stay indoors and wait until your parents bring you over to the relatives and let your uncle make eyes at you.

Brother's Friends.

You have to go down on your brother's friends and everyone who know everyone else.

Duh.

Kinkiness.

I'm not even going to tell you about this because small town guys can't handle it. They don't have the attention span nor staying power to let you talk dirty to them or hog-tie them. Whatever. Reserve your wild side for sugar daddies and fat men with money.

You'll thank me later.

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY...

I hate people who line up at the coffee station and wait for you to do the whole sugar and cream and lid thing. They are standing there with their black coffee all self-righteous like they are the most considerate person in the world, because they have the patience to let you have the coffee station all to yourself. It makes me want to turn around and say something snarky, except I haven't thought of the perfect mean thing to say yet.

Maybe if I threw all of the sugar packets into the garbage in front of them and poured the cream and homo milk and 2 per cent into that drain thing and put all the stir sticks in my pockets and crumpled up the lids one by one and turned around and said "Shoulda got here sooner" then left, I think that might work.

The looks on their faces when they are waiting is what really sets me off, it's sort of like the same look bitchy women have on their face when they are holding the door open for you at the mall, except a lot bitchier.

Next time I'll do my sugar/cream thing really fast then let them at the station, but then act like I forgot to do something else and wait behind them and sigh as loud as I can and roll my eyes. The I'll exclaim "IF I WANTED A COLD COFFEE MAYBE I WOULD HAVE ORDERED ONE!"

I could go on and on forever about this. I mean, MORE THAN ONE PERSON CAN USE THE STATION AT ONCE!!! IS EVERYONE ON CRAZY PILLS HERE!?!?!?

Part one: Public Statement of Adoration.

B-Rose, do not let numbers cloud your vision. You will always be my little raspberry pie (ð) because I love you too.

Dan was soo right. I need to stop dicking around with all this TNG and review the basic Star Trek Classics: Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.

Holy shit. Why is that the funniest movie in the universe? For those of you who are unfamiliar with the plot, Kirk goes back in time 8473873 years to capture two Humpback whales in order to save the entire human race.



Kirk says:

Scotty we have to find some humpbacks.

Scotty says:

Humpbacked... people, sir?

Kirk says:

Whales, Scotty! 45-50 feet long! About 40 tons a piece!



Scotty:

Admiral! How am I going to handle all that weight?

Kirk says:

You'll work it out, Scotty. And remember: two of them. It takes two to tango.

((later))

Kirk says:

Well, Spock, thanks to your restored memory and a little bit of luck, we are in the streets of San Francisco looking for a pair of Humpback whales. How do you propose to solve this minor problem?



Spock says:

Simple logic will suffice.

also, here's some gossip for you kids in drum corps land... apparently chad armbruster is now a low brass visual tech for scouts.



in the words of kx: "oh, to see how far one has fallen..."

caught the crashsight cd release show on friday. it turned out pretty baller. it was pretty cool seeing d'amato and a couple of the old work people... and creepy hx that wanted to get me in a threeway with his gay roommate... if you recall, bx said he has two mommies.

photos will be shared post photo-shopping because i couldn't remember how to change my camera settings for shitty show-lighting. balls.

also, i saw this girl that was decently unattractive wearing an ugly tent-dress get her crotch grabbed by an even more unattractive dude. i threw up a little in my mouth. save it for your cheeto-stained living room sofa, please.

the minute homeboy left my side, some dock-worker fresh from the fish market asked if he was my boyfriend. my eyes grew to ultra-panic-size and i said yes and turned away quickly... whew... one more conversation i will never have to have.

i made a peach smoothie for breakfast because i'm out of raspberries and i don't think strawberries and peaches would mesh well and i didn't want to open a new container of raspberry yogurt.

i really like shitty music today.

i went to the wing pit xmas party last night. ate some kickin chinese in lewisville. then went bowling. i turkeyed the first game and didn't even break 100 in the second. balls to that.

there was a girl at the bowling alley wearing the same tent dress as the girl whose crotch was diddled at the curtain club, but she was under 200 lbs. and asian, and i've already accepted that asians can wear whatever the fuck they want and it will be okay...

also, when picking out my clothes, i like to pretend that i'm asian.

my bff left me some crazy-kid voicemail last night. wow. and the little miss desperate award goes to...

i got home from work hoping for a nap but it is freeze tag day for my ceiling creatures and that is not a quiet game. also, i think they're doing cocaine because i don't remember them being able to run this fast...

maybe i will get lucky and their hearts will explode but the cocaine will preserve their bodies so they won't rot in my attic... nah, i'd miss them.

the preferred attire for the taco bell drive-thru is a robe.



also, i didn't know these still exist.

homeboy said:

dance to the ryhtm around a central fire, the indigo children come.

mengtar said:

more than ever hour after (h)our work is never over.

homeboy said:

... a lot of talent, and chemical imbalance and MDAMA (MDMA)

mengtar said:

stay inside you will be fine i'll show you follow me... welcome to the midwest

homeboy said:

straight outta the mother-fuck'n dungens(sp) of rap

mengtar said:

still not loving police still rock my khakis with a cuff and a crease and i still got love for the streets

homeboy said:

strapped down. to my bed. feet cold. eyes red. i'm out my head. job scopes and psuedofed. im i alive. im i dead. goddamn. shit the bed.

mengtar said:

land and freedom steel and fate tooth and bone and wire. and skin scar dirt and fire. woo hoo hoo mic check.

homeboy said:

damn im dune for now, my phones gunna die

mengtar said:

i'll pretend it's because i win.

homeboy said:

lisen in. i know its sicken'n to know im da nigga that gotcha girlys coochie glisten'n from listen'n to my shit, and when i get over christen'n, she splits again b/c i made her spit the nitroglycerin.

i decided tonight is a good night to drink and cut hair. step one: check. step two: we'll see.

best friend cut off his beautiful hair and shaved his beard. mengtar is no longer a fan club member.

i bought some kickin new philips speakers at target for only fifteenish dollars. then i found out the og cut my hours because we hired a thousand new people. then i felt guilty for spending the money. then i jammed out to my kickin playlist while i expo-ed and it didn't matter.

also, i'm sorry i've become part of the monotony you hate about home.

so i got home from work and slept like a mofo and woke up crazy-happy for no reason at all... other than that i had finally gotten some sleep... which, if i'm not mistaken, is definitely a reason... fuck you.

except for the first few minutes ((5.27p)) where i ran through the house three-quarters-dazed thinking i had to be at work at 5.30... i'm awkward.

then cx and i played some yankee card games ((cribbage... and i won)) and gossipped about how everyone and their mothers are breaking up... okay... so actually only two couples... one is sad. the other made me laugh pretty hard... could have said something. didn't. whatever. as you soon as you decide to stop being fucking retarded about everything and using your fucking head once in a while, i would happy to be a part of your life. you know what the right decisions are. and you know that they're not that hard to make. it's about time that you stop being so fucking selfish about all of them and just fucking start making them.

i miss scottie raveling. for some reason i was thinking about him today and remembered him recommending the movie run lola run back in the day. i almost watched it tonight. didn't. i'm glad i could tell you that.

also, what am i supposed to say to that?

mengtar is proud to present... bballamike!

so today has been a ridiculous shitty day and all i need is eighteen hugs and a thousand compliments and a week of sleep and some wine and to watch bambi and cry in all the sad parts and some of the not-so-sad parts.

on monday, you may recall, i went drinking with bestfriend ((mxeighty-seven)). i bought him a few beers.

i found out tonight that he got his second dui on the way home.

fuck balls.



i'm sooo sorry, best friend!!!!!!!

i dreamt about killer whales the size of my forearm and the bad guy from no country for old men and i woke up a thousand times freaking out that i was about to get knifed or airgunned and flailed about and interrupted some above average quality cuddling. awkward.

((sorry))

and since i've had nothing but lots of coffee and half of my el guapo's ((at a discount rate of 40%... seriously... i should go there more often than twice ever)) i'm basically operating at the mental capacity of cheese.



my nap was postponed so i could spend some quality time with an ((understandably)) irritable mx in the emergency room. iron appedices and no surgeries is bballa by definition.

we even have matching hand wounds!



((and by matching, i mean that we are both on the disabled list))

now that i have christmas plans, i definitely need to do some shopping. i've been working up a good brainstorm, but my insomnia doesn't provide for much to be a-brewin'.

i feel sorry for everyone i'm about to wait on tonight.



also, my crotch is bleeding, but i'm too tired to notice.

homeboy returns today!

((baller))

this will also be the photo in the jacket of lx's autobiography.



also, homeboy's flight number is the same as the po box number of my drum corps. it's whatever.

my sheets are in the drier so i'm just blogging away the minutes til they're done...

i came home from the bars to the history channel telling me about this girl in the sistine chapel restoring michealango's shit. i was obviously much more interested in my tuna sandwich than the program. however, some vivaldi piece was playing... you know... baa baaadly-um-bum baaa baaadly... um-bum... whatever. some string shit. maybe the history channel has been ill-informed, but that shit was like 200 years after michealangelo... whatever... i'm over it.

also, cx and i hit up some jupiter before our planned boiler room visit. ((cx has never been)) but on our way, we ran into BEST FRIEND! ((mxnumbereighty-seven or some shit from the og)) and he ever-so-connivingly convinced us to go to the loophole to play doubles in darts. ((good call, best friend)) we ended up meeting more people and playing triples in cricket and cx and i fared well, but did not win. i don't think anyone did. bar closed. whatever.

good times, though.

there were high-fives and whiskey shots in the bathroom. what else can you ask for? ponies. that is all.

i would like to make a special note that it is now warmer at midnight than it was when i got off work at 4. balls to that, good sirs.

also:

mengtar said:

hey, kx, want to go to the bar?

kx said:

hey, mengtar, want to go to school?

((zing))

also, a couple days after my year ago today, jx's dad called him to set up a lunch date to discuss my inappropriate and rude behaviors...

i think i just threw up in my mouth a little just thinking about it.

also, who the fuck is this?

((i miss you, jxwx))

I'm calling about the Wainright fish...

someone should call me so i can go out tonight and drink alot in your neighborhood...

((imagine that in song-form))

one year ago today...

tonight was a night of nights.

first, I read my post from drunk last night. wowsers. I don't even know.

I worked. whatever.

John and I drove to Dallas to watch Austin Ford's band play in some Battle of the Bands. The first band was this crazy metal trip. The drummer had a small tom covered with yellow zebra-print fabric. They all wore stone-washed jeans. ((not metal)) and polo shirts. ((also less-than-metal)) they had 2 singers ((well... screamers)) a drummer and a keyboard player. the keyboard player was my favorite. he looked like he was 12 and was wearing a backpack. occasionaly he would also sing, but it was super highpitched and Austin and I would look at eachother and laugh ultra-hysterical-like every time. It was great.

After them, we had to leave because John found out that it is his dad's birthday and he is in a play.

I felt really bad that John had spent much money on gas, parking, admission and dinner and we couldn't stay to see Austin's band. and the fact that we had to ditch Austin. I hope they still did well without me getting all loud and drunknoxiuos.

so we had to come back to Denton. His dad's play was actually a Madrigal Dinner. He was the "fool" ((court jester)) He did very well. He has a good voice and is a very animated actor. This was the first time I had seen him act, and maybe the first time I saw a REAL smile on his face, even though it was still an acting-smile.. Word.

Apparently I offended him later. We came back to his parents' house afterwards to watch the rest of the Cowboys-Saints game. The Saints were ahead by quite a bit and his dad was being super crabby-pants about TO dropping and shit. ((understandably, sounds like my dad when he watched Culpepper after his prime season. notice how season was singular.)) whatever. I said some things about the game, nothing against the Cowboys and apparently they were taken offensive and I didn't get a goodbye hug.

Whatever.

I understand that John was raised under the rule of elders. However, I hate the feeling that his dad is always talking down to me. I have respect for my elders, however, just because 21 is young doesn't mean that I don't have an opinion or that I should have to bite my tongue any more than anyone else.

I wish I had been more drunk.

Frustrating.

Oh yeah, John bought me a stapler too.

texas has reached freezing point and i'm oh so happy.

also, i'm drunk. did i already blog this part??

whatever.

texas has hit freezing point and i am an ever-so happy mengtar.

also, nothing will ever excite me more than taking this photo...

and it is awkward moments of double text message bashing like these that make me want to slit the throats of all ten of the people in this state that know my name.

but seriously, let's fucking go to new york.

so here was the situation. mengtar was about to get some from jxnumberthree. but every 20 seconds or so...

jxnumberthree said:

le sigh... le sigh... le sigh...

mengtar said:

dude, what's up? is this okay?

jxnumberthree said:

yeah... i don't know... le sigh

mengtar rolls over and said:

well, if you don't want to, we can just go to sleep. it's cool

jxnumberthree said:

yeah... i don't know... le sigh

mengtar goes to sleep and is getting frisked by jxnumberthree shortly after...

((twentyorso seconds pass))

jxnumberthree said:

le sigh

mengtar said:

okay, seriously. do you not want to do this? because i have to leave for work in about two hours. so either we're fucking or i'm sleeping.

jxnumber three said:

le sigh

mengtar said:

gnight.

this cycle actually happened three times... so that's why i was all preturbed and such earlier. and now for the three supposed reasons on why i'm still horny and sexually tense as balls:

1- fear of jxnumberthree's crazy ex finding out and going crazy on mengtar or jxnumberthree. legit.
2- jxnumberthree felt as though he was taking advantage of mengtar... which only makes sense if you know jxnumberthree and that he has never slept with a girl that he wasn't currently in a relationship with. ((i hate ending sentences in prepositions, but i'm lazy. fuck you in)) legit.
3- fear of jxnumberthree's crazy ex that just moved out the day before but still had a key busting in the room and cutting us both up with the pieces of broken mirror laying on the floor outside jxnumberthree's bedroom from the prior evening's confrontation. legit.

also, we played rockband.

welp, here goes... at least i'll have something to gossip about later...

thank you anonymous commenter from erie, pennsylvania...

all work and no play makes mengtar a dull girl...

okay... so i do get to play every now and then.

last night was angry and i'm still not ready to discuss it until i get the rest of the information... or get laid. in which case i will become gossip queen of the sewing circle... er... blog... whatever.

hickory street hellraisers were at boiler room tonight. kicked some ass. didn't drink enough because my stomach was still full of tunafish sandwiches.

and now for tonight's episode of awkward moments with mengtar:

homeboy's ex that makes me feel incredibly... unostentatious... now works at the bar i frequent, and her immediate friendliness continues to throw me off. apparently we need to hang out and i tried so hard to give her the wrong number but it just didn't work. fuck balls.

mengtar is awkward and doesn't like strangers.

but she bought me a shot, so we're bff, right?

then this other dude ((cuter than balls)) comes up and is all "i saw your zelda pin, that's badass." and i agreed and continued rocking. he continues with a "you like zelda?" and a "where did you get it?" to which i replied "from this dude" ((mx)) who got it from hot topic from that dude" ((jared or jarrod or jaryd or tijahd... whatever... jxnumber5)) and then he realized that i was too bballa to be talking to him and i turned away to ignore him ((in my ever-so-awkward fashion)) and he tried a few more sentences and i pretended i wasn't listening but not on purpose and he left. ((close call))

and then i listened to that song where the hot girls make out in the video but they're not lesbians but it's just as hot.

also, jxnumber5 had a shirt that said "fuck you you fuckin' fuck" and that's what my mom said to the guy at the bar in chicago that she got kicked out of the bar with my sister. but my sister didn't get kicked out. just the dude. the fuckin fuck. i miss my mom and my sister and my sister.

gnight ballers and civilians.

i'm still too angry to write all about everything that made me so angry last night. but i assure you, it's legit.

((le sigh))

but seriously... tonight... boiler room... that is all.

mengtar the antimania!

i'm becoming extremely confrontational. be it the drinking, the smoking, the sleep or lackthereof, i think i'm going to sit at home and stare at the wall all weekend.

staring out the crazies.

also, step off my microphone. you heard it here first.

((breath in the crazy))

what is the best way to wake up from a betwixt-works nap?

"i go to church every goddamn sunday. are you gonna bring the demons out i me!?"

((love it))

IT'S COMING!!

((again? seriously?!?!))

brown shoes. black pants. dark blue sweatshirt.

wardrobe approved.

also, happy hanukkah.

i will think about having latkas in celebration... but not really.

plano is a lot cooler of a city than i thought it would have been. it reminded me a lot of downtown madison, wisconsin... sans badgers.

the company was also more than pleasant. a special thank you to sx and cx for joining me in plano to see the new bob dylan movie, i'm not there.

it was pretty much fucking great. there were a few parts i disliked, and it was too long for me to sit still through... but fucking great.

it wasn't as biographical as i had predicted. some of the "events" that happened i believe were interpretive for inner battles and such... which was still fucking great. ((example... he didn't leave home at 11 to sing for woody guthrie on his deathbed... that was after he had graduated highschool and spent time in minneapolis, in and out of the U... i wish they would have shown a back-in-the-day dinkytown))

it depicts six stages of bob dylan's life through six different actors. one was cate blanchett. she was by far the best. she is doing a press interview in her opening scene. her voice sounded like a bob dylan voiceover and i wanted to jump in my seat. ((shutup, sx and cx, nobody has to know that i was actually jumping in my seat through almost the whole movie... THEY DON'T HAVE TO KNOW!!!!)) second best was christian bale who fucking rocked the overly-modest, shy and anxious side of early dylan. also, he's cute.

my favorite song reference ((which i barely caught and was crazy excited about)) was when richard gere dylan ((who i was not a big fan of, maybe because i didn't quite understand it... was it supposed to be napoleons dressed in rags??? i just thought of that... interesting... now i have to see it again...))

ugh.... gross... i was just distracted by a the tyrannosaurus rex and his new shirt and hat and hooded sweatshirt... and now i can't remember what my favorite part was...

yes, richard gere rides horseback into the raggedy circus town and he MET A YOUNG GIRL BESIDE A DEAD PONY!!!

i wanted to cry.

the alias thing kind of confused sx and cx.... jack rollins, woody guthrie, sonny, jude quinn... i was happy every time. they never used his real name.

oh so happy...

also, they took many famous dylan pictures and album covers and put the actors in those scenes. fucking genius! i'll try to find pictures and do a compare-contrast chart for you. due monday. ((but i'll turn it in late for partial credit))

also, last night was holy awkward 5000 and then he refacebook friended me... bleeeoorggghh!!!

a very excited mengtar hopes to be driving to plano tomorrow.

((who's coming with her?))

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY:

This is Kx's impression of girls:

"My vagina bled soo much today. Let's go buy bras."

or is this just another game that you and i pretend to play?

i finally saw pan's labyrinth last night.



wow. totally not what i thought it was going to be. but completely badass.

also, a few days ago i saw no conutry for old men. also badass. creepy as hell in some parts. but as the ending came, i had hoped they would end it right there. a full resolution would have made it a country for old men. but since it is not, there could be no resolution.

then it ended.

beautiful.

but then there was some commotion throughout the theater. "that's it?" "it's over?" "i don't get it"

i wanted to stand at the door and slap everyone as they exited the theater.



luckily, no one talked too much during the movie but someone was crinkling their popcorn bag too loud behind me and i was about to turn around and slit some throats.

i've been a little over-the-top horny lately. there was nothing wrong with the sex this morning, but i still had to masturbate twice before work.

also, i kind of wanted ice cream for breakfast... soup it is.

cx said:

mengtar! you're nekkid!

mengtar said:

it's my room! i can be as nekkid as i want!

cx said:

well what are you doing?

mengtar said:

looking for scissors. i need to do some handywork.

cx said:

some...? ohhh... i know what that means!!

discuss:

also, super bon bon, were you aware that your name is also a soul coughing song and mine is not?



entertaining.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

so balls to yesterday, last night and this morning and possibly a few days before that.

but i did win A game of cricket last night.



apparently that weird coming-down feeling from the last few days means that i'm going to turn into a super touchy mega-bitch and then blog about it and then have a thousand anxiety attacks and then get ready for work three times and then sleep for most of a day and then act like a crazy old woman and make soup and jambalaya and smoothies while watching the republican candidates debate brought to you by cnn and youtube.

youtube? honestly? wow...

also, senator john mccain lost my potential vote because he doesn't believe that jack bauer is real.

but afterwards i found some oldschool live bob dylan shit from the 1963-66 folk festivals in that town that the kid without parents from the oc was from... p-something? i don't know. but it was basically badass. that's the only way to do soup.



is this enough soup for everyone? no? just me? fine.



mx does a mad car-drumming impression of me. if you can't see it, you can just shutup and listen and not give me any sass about it.



also, mengtars don't sing. don't hate.





someone else should please tell me that this picture is funny.



also, what is the name of that song from the cruel intentions soundtrack? it was kind of a hit and had violins... something. i don't know.

i bought bell peppers for the first time ever. it was actually a good idea. also, bell peppers look like cartoons.









i would show you the finished product, but it was inhaled immediately afterwards by a very hungry mengtar and kx.

we had to leave jupiter for denny's before dan got off work. it was alright.



and to whomever said that my blog reads similar to slaughterhouse-five, i see the parallels, but vonnegut >>>> mengtar. ((thanks, though))