when i drove up to the house after work, there was a massive ((6 inches at least, but usually they're only 3-4)) lizard on the garage door.

i parked in the driveway instead so i wouldn't disturb him.

if it rains inside my car tonight, i'd be okay with it.

((he was sooo cute!!!!))

my blog could have should have been filled with photos of bballamike playing and beerpong with pumpkinhead...

but i don't have a camera or an id...

but we did have some chicken fried steaks and texas beers for lunch while i owned at darts. i'll settle for that. no pictures, though. but trust me.

stay tuned for the photos i won't be taking of me rocking his world at pool tonight at texas8ball.

until then, back to folding laundry ((the whites!))

"thankful for reality"

those words echo in my head as i organize all of the information for my insurance agent and for the claims office and for my new rental claim and for the claims adjuster and for the total loss adjuster...

am i in minnesota yet?

but it makes me happy knowing that superbonbon is enjoying her life in god's country and hope that i can be half as well or at least content soon... it may even take me moving back to minneapolis. i actually might be okay with that now.

i did some online car shopping at jupiter house tonight over a mocha shake with peanut butter while texting awkward totalled car sexual inuendos... car shopping will never be as fun as when you are sixteen, but dick and fart jokes will always be funny.

tomorrow i'm going to attempt getting a notary public signature for a picture id without a picture id. wish me luck.

i was fixing my saran wrap window while getting gas this morning ((okay, late afternoon)) and this lady was like, "not quite the ideal weather for not having full air conditioning, eh?" and then got into her hummer and drove off into the fog...

bitch.

i walked into discount tire this morning ((whatever, late afternoon, get over yourself)) and was greeted by jeff my tire guy.

jeff said:

it hasn't been long enough for you to be back here!

mengtar said:

i know... my car was stolen and they flattened a tire.

jeff said:

the one in the trunk?

mengtar said:

don't get cocky.

a good relationship with your tire guy is very important. i recommend jeff.

from the position i was sitting, i could see over a dozen dead bugs along the inside perimeter of discount tire. i was okay with that. as a tire shop, it's acceptable and almost expected. although, i still have no problem drinking the coffee.

no, YOU get a life!

after nearly a decade as our best relief pitcher, juan rincon has been struggling the past few years. yesterday, the twins gave him the ultimatum of being moved to the rochester triple-a or end his contract and become a free-agent.

rincon is a free-agent.



and after losing torii hunter to the angels, he was the most... veteranist... of the team... ten yearsish i believe.

whatever.



we'll miss you, 39!

so i thought the dude was going to cut me a check yesterday...

but he was like "well, i'm the field inspection adjuster... tomorrow the total loss adjuster will call you..."

awesome. he'll be able to tell me how much i'm getting...

"well, i'll go ahead and get these forms mailed out to you and you fill them out and notarize them and mail them back and we'll just keep moving you along..."

wow...

this will never end.

today my insurance company will give me one million dollars for my car.

legit.

the last four days of stress has taken 2 years off my life.

nothing but drinking and talking to insurance companies, banks, and the denton police department.

also, getting fucked from every angle by everything possible.



((i hate this))

bitch get to smash a gibson guitar at 7am for the hardrock cafe 30th anniversary the morning after the nxne opening party.



you officially know the most jealous person in the world.

soo... they pulled my stolen car out of the woods last night...












rip mazda 626

2000-2008

i wish i could be happy because happy mother fu kin birthdfay to tx but....


my caer was stolen tonight...

i dont' have a amothjer fucking car.


fuck you .

jxnumbereighty-five came back last night and conned me into hanging with the og crew that i would normally avoid. i pretty much wanted to shoot myself in the face until a few cats showed up almost an hour before bar close. that's okay, it made it worth it, so i forgive you.



also, these beers were un-legit. ((r2x brought them in))




also, he might be moving in with me. ((rock on))

found a bill on the streets yo.

legit.

i woke up scraped and bruised from last night's wrestling match over my camera.




since i can no longer afford my trip to LA, px says i owe him big time. i decided to repay my debts to him the only way i know... explicit photos.

the importance of the privacy of these photos is mild. px enjoys the fact that he is the only one that gets to see them, but if someone were to glance at one or two, i can't say i'd care.

however, there is a possibility that these photos were taken in the bed of the homeboy trying to wrestle the camera from me. so the importance of the privacy of these photos from him is much higher.

then upon leaving homeboy's place, i was attacked by this guy.



had to drive home with a swollen mound on my back so i could ice it for an hour to get the stinger out. apparently taking nudie pics of yourself in someone else's bed with no intentions of showing them later is just bad kharma. bitches.

is this even street legal?



last night was big momma and little daddy's drag show at the boiler room. presenting the same gay 30-somethings doing the same christina aguilera songs with a better girlish figure than me.

jx showed up, fresh from 80's night at hailey's, with less than fresh clothing... note the sweat lines. ((also, FUCK 80's night))




i remember who black mike is! he's the guy that's more into himself than homeboy is that works at the abbey inn! anyway, he was at the drag show last night and he bought me a shot and i was okay with it and he said i was pretty while he walked me to my car and i rolled my eyes because i don't really subscribe to that, but it was a nice gesture and he kissed me and it was nice but i asked him to stop because i don't really subscribe to that either. blah blah blah everything predictable about leaving the bar and that one guy just won't leave you alone but you're too nice or awkward to just say no. but then he said something that actually suprised me.

black mike said:

you're right. i shouldn't be doing that if you're still with that other guy.

mengtar said:

what other guy?

black mike said:

your boyfriend. the dudeboy with the sweatband on.

mengtar said:

whoa.... no no no... where did you get that idea?

black mike said:

last time i saw you out, he told me to back down because the two of you were kind of together...

wow, jx, your shallow levels never cease to amaze me. just wow.

but apparently the feelings from the combination of being less attractive than drag queens and homeboy deciding 3 minutes in that he was just too tired has carried over from last night into my morning. i'd rather not go to work and stay in my room and not let anyone look at me today.

i need a break from the way you make me feel like shit. i'm glad pumpkin head will be here soon.

upon further ((sober)) review of the photos, it appears that there is a small chance that the flying scorpion may have actually been a ((giant)) stink bug.

that is all.

an evening in the life of being completely awesome:



((count it))



flying scorpions. invasive species?







::insert clever here::





i'm too buzzed to be clever and too sober to be witty.

le sigh.

almost missed this treasure while jxnumbereighty-five was in town...

mengtar's phone rings and displays "black mike calling"...

mengtar said:

who the fuck is black mike?

jxnumbereighty-five said:

it actually says black mike? give it to me... hello?... yes... can i ask who's calling?... mengtar, it's for you. it's black mike.

apparently black mike was looking for hope's phone number because joseph has her keys.

((i don't know hope or joseph... and who the fuck is black mike?))

table 401 said:

do you have coffee... from the hills?

mengtar said:

duncan hills?





((fifteen dollar tip. fuck yes.))

stopped by jupiter house prior to the lake dallas drive. newly-turned platinum blond barista girl pointed out yesterday how i always talk to her but seem "exceptionally awkward" around others.

tonight was no different.

as i left with my medium soy mocha some dude was looking at me and walking towards me. i jump-panicked, but then he walked behind me to get some juice...

dude said:

that was completely unnecessary.

mengtar said:

don't make eye contact if all you want is juice!

recently platinum barista said:

forgive her, it's midnight and she hasn't had her morning coffee.

((you've been fed))

i spent last night finishing off my whiskey and bx's cream soda and then anger-ignoring homeboy until it was time for bed. i think it was because i was out of cigarettes and he refused to go buy me some. last night should have been sober night too.

urizen played at the boiler room tonight at 10, but i woke up at 11 and didn't remember they were playing until 11.30. also, i didn't go to the urizen show. i probably could have even enjoyed it sober.

instead, cx and i watched america's psychic challenge on lifetme... where psychics compete to see who is the best psychic... on lifetime. my favorite part is immediately before commercial breaks, they ask you questions like "which of these six cards is the jack of diamond?" or "which of these three cell phones are about to ring? if you guess right, you could have psychic abilities!"

fucking great... now i have to put up with a third of the people who watch lifetime at 3am walking around like they have psychic abilities...

also, i totally have psychic abilities.

but that doesn't mean that cx and i aren't looking to get a psychic reading done...