last night i wanted to go dive bar hopping in lake dallas. they have two or three bars but one was closed and i couldn't find the other one so homeboy and i just went to barflies. it was about as exciting as a dive bar can be.

there were a dozen overweight girls and one almost pretty one if she didn't have such shitty hair and clothes and their cowboy boyfriends that are probably actually schoolbus drivers or subway sandwich artists taking up the whole length of the bar when i arrived and they gave me that "you're not from here" stinkeye when i arrived.

i was okay with that because i was planning on speaking to the bartender only.

i was trying to out-mysterious this guy the whole time i was there by myself before homeboy showed up. he turned around to look at me once, so i think i won.



mengtar said:

i want to go to a rodeo.

homeboy said:

like shoedogging? or bullriding?

mengtar said:

i don't think i can talk to you for a minute.



the drinks were crazy strong and i was slightly drunklor after a couple double seven-sevens. we left for homeboys and i ((in all my grace and glory and predictability)) got pulled over... again... for having a headlight and a taillight out... again...

mengtar is BROKELOR!!!!!

i called ralph at royal tire: minnesota's largest commercial tire dealer today. he was little help in assuring me that my warranty was up by about 25k miles, but had the BEST minnesota accent. i can't believe i actually sound like that.

after i decided that having to buy new tires was a definite possibility, i pouted in my living room and rolled all around the house on my tire. it was pretty fun. i should get an extra one.



jeff at discount tire was MUCH more helpful.

jeff said:

hi, how are you doing? what can we do for you?

mengtar said:

((oh shit, a stranger is talking to me and i almost just fell on my ass because flip-flops have zero traction on this floor if it is even mildly damp or even humid and it has been raining all morning, QUICK, think of something to say)) i have a nail in my tire!

jeff said:

heh, alright. which tire is it?

mengtar said:

the one in the trunk. ((as if i would still be driving on it? i don't know))



i wasn't sure if i should just have the tire fixed or if i should just replace that tire or if i should i replace all of the tires. jeff and i took a look at the car and concluded that i should replace all of my tires since none of them even had enough tread to pass texas vehicle inspections. fucking state trying to take responsibility for our environment and vehicle safety. whatever.

he explained a couple of their products to me and i asked about one of their mid-priced tires...



jeff said:

that tire is actually out of stock.

mengtar said:

well how long would it take to order it?

jeff said:

((le sigh)) about three business days...

mengtar said:

well that's a good deal. let's do that.

jeff said:

((sigh del grande)) i tell you what... i'll give you these $90 tires for the price of the out of stock $65 tires and you can keep the 60k miles warranty.

mengtar said:

SOLD!

to get a good deal on tires, apparently you just need to request their out of stock items and be from the same state as your tire dealer.

also, jeff was from duluth.

this is my ass at 160. i had a whole spinach pizza and chocolate and peanut butter and caramel bar thing in celebration.



dear harrison ford,
you're not bruce willis.
love, mengtar



also, i went to five auto-parts stores to find 2 things to fix my headlight and taillight. i hate auto-parts store workers except the old guy at the mazda dealership because he told a bunch of people on the phone that i was pretty. i'm okay with that.