Saturday, June 30, 2007

top three favorite parts of watching aqua teen hunger force colon movie for theaters in the theater

3: the rockin music: i like your booty, but i'm not gay.

2: meatwad: yeah, i mean over the phone, yeah. he says that it sounded like my hobbit that turns the crank case is depressed and need thereapy. we need to get us a new hobbit. they's from the land beyond time. the land beyond time's also gonna hook us up with the unicorn for the radiator. i ain't even gonna tell you about the haunted air conditioner. plus the air filter. that's made of plutonium. that's gonna involve superman so, you know, plus shipping from krypton...

1: him: i love you.
::beep bloop::

say, what is that noise?

i don't know. it's coming from your pocket.

oh, my pocket? then that must be my iphone. my apple iphone. it's new. you might have heard of it.

that's not an iphone.

it's not?

no, you duct taped a razr and an ipod together. i watched you do it. i even cleaned up the mess you left on the counter.

i have no idea what you're talking about.
42 days since i've been happy.

and now some bitch is sleeping in my bed. what the fuck.

i hate texas. i hate that i have no friends. i hate that he's with her and that he only maybe loves me.

i wish i could have talked to leah tonight.

Friday, June 29, 2007

here it is, kids.



also, i'm back to 162. slow and steady wins the race... ((shutup. i like cookies))

also, happy birthday to kyle!



and happy birthday to mike!



and happy birthday jarel! ((and yes i just stole this picture off your facebook because i don't have any pictures of you... shutup, twin.))



and happy birthday to big momma! ((tomorrow))

Thursday, June 28, 2007

interesting night:

it started with me being ridiculously bored.

cathy and i decide to have a daquiri/painting party. we went to wal-mart around 9 to buy some paint and cookies. it was also a cookie party.



2 daquiris into the wind and a half-painted alligator later, my phone rings. it was dan. i'm assuming the conversation is going to go something like this...

dan says:

what are you doing?

mengtar says:

painting and drinking daquiris.

dan says:

want to meet at jupiter later?

mengtar says:

yes.

dan says:

okay.



however, the conversation actually went more like this...

dan says:

the tomato is on fire. you have to come down here.

mengtar says:

what the fuck.



yes. someone ((some fry-street rat)) started the tomato ((local recently closed pizza place)) on fire. i show up and find dan, not-roommate mike and randall. there are roads closed off and police tape all over and flooded streets on account of the water hoses and the endless rain. my shoes got wet and i was angry.

we walked to hooligans and i ran into a dude i work with who was acting kind of wierd... but in an i-like-you way. whatever.

mike bought me a drink and we chilled. it was fun. sometimes i hate dan though.

i hate it that he knew that john was cheating on me and said nothing. i hate it that he is so manipulative. i hate it that he lies. and i hate it that he never told me until tonight that john thought i was cheating on him. i never even looked at another guy the whole time i was with him. he was my world.

i remembered that when i drank with roommate mike and michael ann last night that they were having a little candle-light ceremony thing outside the tomato. and now it's burned. wow.



after hooligans, mike and i were still kind of looking for something to do. so we drove down to lake lewisville ((the same place i picked up dan when he made a volleyball appear.)) and chilled. the lake was major-flooded half way into the parking lot. we chilled until 5am talking about our failed relationships. his wife told him on friday that she was thinking about an anullment. sadness. made me think about a lot of things. it was nice though. very pretty.

mike then drove me to my car and the tomato was still smoking and they were still spraying water... 6 hours later. wow.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

things that sound good:

daquiris
naps
big fat dicks



and him.
i miss the lot.



and i miss him.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

previously, i have had no problems leaving my lip ring out for several hours at a time.

for some reason today that was not the case.

ouch.

if my face is black tomorrow, it might be tetanus.

Monday, June 25, 2007

also this:

so facebook has this application that i am absolutely in love with.

it's called the honesty box. people anonymously post shit in your box. it's kind of cool.

if you're not a facebooker, feel free to anonymously say what you think about me. or if you have facebook... do it still. you're thinking it anyway.

work is lame. someone ran into me from behind and got a nickel-sized spot of marinara sauce on the back of my shirt. the manager that hates me made me go home to change. i took my sweet time and bought some cigarettes and ate some lasagna while i was out.

a girl at work wants to move into the house until december. but kyle is apparently holding out for this kid from phantom that is a less-than-maybe. lame, because it would be really cool if she moved in.

his phone doesn't work anymore, and he's all i think about.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

new game plan:

become a rock star.
do more drugs.
stop eating.

also, the twins win the world series.




















busy hating everything.
times like these i hate texas.

not that i could ever go back to minnesota.

i just hate everything.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

finally a sunny ((but ridiculous texas-hot)) day so i could lay out in my underoos and get a tan. a beautiful thing.

work was... interesting... i definitely banked tonight. that was nice.

however, i was asked out by three different guys, and asked to join a three-some... two of the askings-outs were people i worked with. one was a table... and the threeway was a different table.

apparently fat is the new black??

and some crazy guy was stomping in the parking lot wearing flannel near my car, so i had to be walked to my car... creepy.

went to fry street with mike and michael ann. good times. played some darts. forgot my camera. but i finally played the ring-and-hook game at lou's and i got it 3/10. that's basically magical.

whatever.

i miss john.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

the girl on the my questions application on facebook is wearing my shirt. unhappy.

Monday, June 18, 2007

dear megan,
you suck at me.

love,life.

ps. try being less unattractive.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

i anger-cleaned the kitchen hardcore.

then i yelled at mike.

then i found out that not only did he tell colby and michael ann, but james. fucking james. what the fuck.

anyone else i should know about????

they're like 4th grade girls. jesus balls.

i miss john.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

pictures of happier times.

the latest word is that he's miserable and is "dying to get back together".

excited, but nervous.

last night i chilled and had 2 beers at abby's. it was alright.

i crawled into bed at 3.30am. my phone rings at 3.31am. daniel is stranded at lake lewisville ((the only lake in texas)). and apparently tara the slut was busy fucking other guys and then passed out and couldn't get up so even dan could drive her home and he needed me to bring him home.



i pick him up alongside the fucking interstate. he's sitting on a rock with a volleyball. he tells me a drawn-out story about bowling, boating, and fucking a fat ugly not generously endowed ((and straight)) cop. but he didn't realize the first three until half-way through at which point he brings these factors to the cop's attention and decided he needed to go home. i ask if he played volleyball... here is how this conversation played out:

megan said:

did you guys play some volleyball?

dan said:

what?!? no.

megan said:

then... why do you have a volleyball???

dan said:

what?!? where the fuck did this come from?!?

i proceeded into hysterics. i love that guy.



i need about a grand by the end of the month... just to pay the fucking bills.

FUCK ME!

i also forgot to close my tab at lou's on fry street the other night. i guess i'll pick it up tomorrow? that will be a nice little fee...

quitting smoking until i can get back on my feet financially. it's weird. all i do is work. i rarely even buy food anymore. BROKE!



have to start paying back student loans again soon. AND apparently my dad is being pissy and kicking me off their cell-phone plan, so now i need to get my own plan. great. more money i don't have.

and i still owe them $850. bills are $170. my LAST month of apartment rent is $435. car insurance is $113. house rent is $180. my share of the kid-sister's grad present is $50. student loans are $100. i need to become tabc certified by tuesday for $30-40. and who fucking knows what it costs to start up a new cell phone plan these days. fuck. that's a lot more than a grand. i have $100 to my name. but i have $188 on my credit card... with a limit of $200. damn. damn. damn.

i've gained back almost all of the weight i've lost. sad panda.



((he loves me, and that makes me feel okay about all of it))

Friday, June 15, 2007

also, i gained 7 lbs. gross.
they're both prettier than me.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

thanks to michael and the history channel, i know more about plywood and truck stops than anyone should ever have to know.

quiz me.

michael serenades kyle and cathy:



michael threatens to cut my box out:

what was it you said to keep me in one piece?

one state of denial.
also... seriously?!?!?

((courtesy of atoms for peace))

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

i got home from work and snowflake was chilling in the crevice between the top of his aquarium and the underneathness of the ajar cover. i removed the cover to prevent future squish-age. he chilled on top of the aquarium, i forgot about him, went out to dinner with the roommates ((minus michael, plus justin)), came home, forgot about him, left for jupiter, forgot about him, got to jupiter... SHIT! called kyle, the situation was remedied.

daniel is refusing to cut my hair until i make him goulash because he misses those "good minnesotan eats".

i shared my gramma's potica with him. he was amazed, but it wasn't goulash. whatever. you can only feel so bad for someone who has sex with more straight boys than i do. seriously now.

we were sitting at jupiter and moo-bell ((not her real name)) gave dan and i ten loaves of artisan bread. i do not know why.

also, daniel's roommate ((tara, maybe??)) is trying to convince me to get a job at the tittie bar she works in. not as a dancer ((obviously)) but just to work the door. apparently they make out with some decent money also.

i didn't make enough money at the olive garden to even fill my gas tank. and i was a lunch closer! fuck. this afternoon i was even considering another graveyard shift convenience store gig.

at this rate of poverty, i will have a mattress around... never. yep.

although i got a weird feeling that tara was the girl that he slept with on that one tuesday... the one where i had an anxiety attack and passed out at petco and went over to his apartment and he was all standoffish... whatever. that makes me dislike her, but still have a burning desire to work the door at her tittie bar.

one of my favorite minneapolis bands ever, Skywind, turned into Skywynd a few years ago, and has recently turned into Crash Anthem. ::sigh::

also, i'm pretty sure i need a flight suit. airforce style. yes. yes i do.

work on that.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

none of my roommates play guitar. however, someone is clearly playing guitar in my house. odd.

while driving back to my house from the airport the other day, i was scared because i saw fire over the trees. there was a giant burning torch where they used to be scavenging or drilling or whatever the correct terminology is for natural gas. i thought it was going to explode my house. turns out, it's completely safe and had been burning since i left. it was off tonight so i couldn't take a picture. i am now convinced that they do that every time i leave because denton misses me.

yes, that's how i sleep at night.

i want to go to jupiter house tonight, but patrick isn't texting me back and i'm getting a bit upset.

mike stole a dog, so now we have three.

it's okay because colby's neighbors used to hit it.

i took zero pictures in minnesota. so you will have to keep waiting for something interesting to happen.
after a full weekend of eating, i'm almost surprised i didn't come back more than 6 lbs. heavier... oh well.

i don't remember piercings hurting this bad the day after... sad panda.



the lizard on my kitchen window watched me make tuna and shells with velveeta. it was basically wonderful.

i want to sit at jupiter and smoke a thousand cigarettes right now. there is always tomorrow.

hopefully i'm not fired in the morning.



one of my bosses is okay in person but a complete ass over the phone.

that has made me realize that if i ever met one of you comment flamers in real life i would goto jail for busticating your face. don't worry, i planned some non-violent things i could do that would not get me sent to jail.

i would spit in your or my drink and toss it on your head and then if the authorities were notified i would say THIS FUCK HARASSES AND STALKS ME CONTINUOUSLY DAILY ON MY BLOG AND LOOK NOW THEY ARE SHOWING UP IRL. also i am better looking so that is also in my sympathy-favor.



you have been warned.

Monday, June 11, 2007

broadcasting live from heather's macbook in minneapolis, minnesota... savemengtar productions is proud to present... mengtar!

yeah... that's what i imagine playing every time someone reads my shit.

get over yourself.

so. starting friday. i drove myself to the airport. ((mistake number one)) the airport has two points of entry. the north and south. and has 6 parking lots. north/south remote parking for $7 a day, north/south express parking for $13 a day, or terminal parking for $20 a day. i enter dfw from the north. north remote parking is full. however, i have plenty of time so i drive to the south remote lot because i'm poor. full. i drive back to the north end ((while getting lost a few times in the turn-around)) and the north express parking is also full. by this time, i don't even time to drive back to the south end to see if the south express parking lot has space, because if it is full, i will probably miss my flight since i will have to drive all the way back to the north end to find a parking spot in terminal parking, and even if there is a spot, i will have to park and then find a way back to the north end to get to my gate.

::sigh::

alas, i parked in terminal parking, right outside my gate and am paying a shit-ton of money that i do not have.

through all of this drama and frustration, i started getting really upset and almost crying because this was the first time i've ever had to drive myself to the airport. john has always brought me to the airport.

i get inside the airport and am working my way through the security line. just as i handed mr. 80-year-old-security-guard my tub of posessions to push down the radiation slide, my phone rings. i grabbed to look at it. john. cue freak out! i answer and tell him that i'll call him back in a minute. i decide that i want no setbacks so i take off my belt and my flip-flops. i get through security after an eight minute search for a lighter that was in my purse that old-man-river was too blind to find and i called john. just hearing his voice i immediately started crying, which gave me quite an audience... it was good to hear from him.

lance picked me up from the airport and we chilled at joe senser's with his brother until sarah got off work. also, lance's brother is gorgeous. 26. but gorgeous. i hate being single and looking at guys that i can't have. i just want mine back.

drove home.

sarah ate lots of grapes.

the grad party was alright. it was good to see some people... less to see others. jon wainright was there. we caught up behind the garage over a few smokes. also got in touch with a dude i hadn't seen since i was 15-16ish. he was much cooler ((and attractive)) than i remember him being. we chilled at his house-in-progress on sunday before i left for the cities. it's kind of weird when you feel an attraction towards someone even though you're completely in love with another.

wainright drove me to the cities. got my lip repierced. they put in a glass retainer that is a lot more visible than i had hoped it would be. got my ear reguaged. they used glass for that one also. i like it. i'm at an 8. i think i'll move to a 6 later. whatever. got my other nipple pierced. he used a curved barbell. i think my other might be straight. but i like the curved better, so i might have to get another curved bar. he was nice and gave me a lot of free stuff and also recommended a shop in texas for me, even though it's a few hours away.

too many mosquito bites. sadly, i think most of them are from texas.

went to heather's house down here in minneapolis. chilled with her and allison. did some catching up on everyone's lives. it was fun. i've missed them so much. i found it harder than usual to talk about john, though. maybe because they are so close and they can see through me when i lie about how i feel. they also had a few things to say about her. things i hadnt heard about when they were up for camps and such. i really hope this is working. they are supposed to have a laundry day today, so i should be hearing from him soon...

just sit around and wait.

pictures will be added upon my return to texas.

you've been fed.

Friday, June 08, 2007

i am in minnesota after several ordeals.

details to come i suppose.

fun fact: ants can carry over 100 times their weight, but they are still not allowed in my kitchen.
i'm going to minnesota tomorrow.

i started packing and i found four pairs of pants that didn't fit before that totally fit awesome now and i'm ridiculous happy because now i have more than one pair of pants that fit! huzzah! it's like i just went shopping but didn't spend any money!!

also, petco raised their prices two cents per cricket. damn them.
even if nothing pans out the way i want it to and even though things are miserable now, i am grateful for everything i have in texas. a great place to stay surrounded by amazing people.

interesting night at jupiter. chilled with patrick having mindless idle chatter. mike and james stopped by after the bar drunk with some jack in the box. ((jack in the crack for anyone reading from missouri)) and things turned angry and philosophical. mostly political. but not even a democrat vs. republican way. but how people do or don't have the same opportunities as others depending on birth rights, homelessness, mental illness, etc. some people are just plain ignorant.

james is ignorant. i dislike james.

things got heated to the point that i had to bail.

discussions continued on the calmest of levels over the last of my cigarettes on the front porch with michael.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

i think wrecking balls have basically become obsolete.
smoked too much tonight. whatever.

went to jupiter to chill with patrick, and as it turns out... everyone was there. had a good time chillin and talking and being philosophical which is about all you can do late at night at a 24-hour coffee joint.

my work pants look like pajama pants and it makes me look like i have a saggy butt. save money for smaller clothes... then buy a mattress... after the piercings, of course.

apparently when i go home, we are taking family portraits. news to me!!

also, full-on sympathies to sarah for stress fractures that make her unable to run marathons. sorry, hun!

anytime people talk about anyone cheating ((which seems like a regular discussion topic now-a-days)) i feel ridiculously sick to my stomach and become instantly ultra-depressed. when is this going to be over?!? i can't hear from him soon enough.

i drank an iced soy mocha. dan bought me a second... i don't think they used soy milk. i drank half and felt kind of shitty. i hope i don't have to poop all day tomorrow.

patrick jammed to some dylan with me. he knew the words. he gained several cool points.

johnny's in the basement mixing up the medicine. i'm on the pavement thinking about the government. A man in a trench coat, badge out, laid off says he's got a bad cough and wants to get paid off. look out, kid. it's something you did. god knows when, but you're doing it again. you better duck down the alley way. looking for a new friend. the man in the coon-skin cap in the pig pen wants eleven dollar bills, but you only got ten. maggie comes fleet foot, face full of black soot. talking that the heat put plants in the bed but the phone's tapped anyway. maggie says that many say they must bust in early may. orders from the d.a. look out, kid. don't matter what you did. walk on your tip toes. don't tie no bows. better stay away from those that carry around a fire hose. keep a clean nose. watch your plain clothes. you don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows. get sick. get will. hang around an ink well. ring bell. hard to tell if anything is going to sell. try hard. get barred. get back. write braille. get jailed. jump bail. join the army if you fail. look out, kid. you're going to get hit. but users, cheaters, six-time users hang around the theaters. girl by the whirl pool is looking for a new fool. don't follow leaders, and watch your parking meters. get born. keep warm. short pants romance. learn to dance. get dressed. get blessed. try to be a success. please her. please him. buy gifts. don't steal. don't lift. twenty years of schooling and they put you on the day shift. look out, kid. they keep it all hid. you better jump down a manhole and light yourself a candle. don't wear sandals. try to avoid the scandals. don't want to be a bum, you better chew gum. the pump don't work because the vandals took the handle.

((from memory, with only two umms and hmms along the way))

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

yay!!! okay, i don't really talk about this very much but i would go ahead and mark today as a landmark day.

lost 25 lbs. as of this morning.



i'm happy, i'm proud, but god damn i miss ice cream and cookies and chips and burgers and loading everything with cheese.



also, check out my awesome new panties, and ignore my bedhead and the mess on the floor.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


i will not cut my losses and move on. i hate everyone at least slightly for saying that and completely underestimating the situation at hand.

i'm crying and i need a hug.

Monday, June 04, 2007

sometimes i'm upset that nobody cares about me. like, really cares cares.

then i realize that i don't really care about the people that care about me.

i wish i could be everything to someone rather that something to everyone.

Sunday, June 03, 2007


snowflake is being a bitch. he keeps giving me sass and bossing me around.

i worked all day. it was whatever.

i work all day tomorrow. it will also be whatever.

right now everything is on the border of whatever and completely over the top in a scary emotional breakdown sort of way.

i hate everything.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

a friend from corps called to tell me what was going on.

i'm alone.

i'm scared.

i need help.

and i want to die.

Friday, June 01, 2007

also, last post was my 50th post on my new site. awww... shutup.

so.



at my new job yesterday there was this guy. he is a nice boy. i would go ahead and say that he's pretty cute. but whatever. uninterested, right??

then he starts talking about a previous converstaion we had had the last time we worked together. topic: where does mengtar hang out? the texas jive of course! so here is an approximation of our conversation.

rx said:

did you ever find out when TJ's is closing?

mx said:

yeah, tonight!

rx said:

wow... so what are you doing tonight, will you be there?

mx said:

yeah, i'll be there.

rx said:

yeah, i might be there then too.



**special note: this is the part where mx begins to realize that there is a possibility that rx is hitting on mx...

((later))

rx said:

so what time are you going to be there?

mx said:

well, my friend runs the drag shows at TJ's, and the last TJ's drag show will start at 7pm. so i might be there pretty early.

rx said:

will you be there at 7?

mx said:

probably not right at 7, but probably before 9.



**special note: there were many other conversation similar to above... all relating to what mx would be doing that night. all initiated by rx.

((later again, as rx is about to leave))

rx said:

so you're going to be there early?

mx said:

yeah... and i'll be there all night, so you should find me whenever you show up.

rx said:

okay, i will. i have to pick up my girlfriend from work, and then we'll both head on over there... see you later!!

cue retarded look on mx's face.

wow. i had to come home and tell everyone because i was soo... wow.



anyway, he ended up not showing up at all. i ended up getting pretty drunklor and talking to many people i didn't know. however, i did run into another guy from work who watched big momma blow raspberries all over my titties. it is soon to become an awkward work environment.



about half way through the night i decided it was time to go for a walk and i talked to another dude named Shane or Shaun or something obscene. he is a tattoo artist at the "ink shop". apparently it is actually called that. i think that is over the top by definition.

Jesse was there. i am always happy to see him. he puts up with my drunken ass better than anyone ever.



i went back. drank more. had a glorious time.

i came home and listened to boros throw up really loud in mike's sink, ate some soup, did some crossword puzzles and went to bed.