Monday, March 31, 2008

happy antisocial mengtar week! ((i don't want to talk about it))

i've been incredibly productive the past hourish at jupiter. i've gotten some mad shit done on the book and have been busy pretending that i don't see poetryboy sitting in the corner staring at me every five minutes. it's hard, but i know that if i say hi that he is just going to make me listen to how awesome he is and make me listen to his poetry that is really good but i just really don't want to hear more than four times a year.

also, this is the first time i've ever seen him without a hat and he should really not do that.

i'd take a picture, but then he would know that i knew he was there and we would have grounds for conversation. that can't happen.

my mocha shake with peanut butter is overly peanut buttery and i'm less than fanatical about it.

hx got kicked off his world of warcraft team. wow. just wow.

the weird guys on the couch next to me asked me a question and i have finally figured out how to less-than-rudely answer questions but show that you really don't want to talk... at all... probably ever...

1: find a point about half-way between where you were looking and their face, stare at it for 4 seconds ((again, count in mississippis. if you count in hippopatamuses, you might stutter even in your head and that would take too long and they might think you're retarded. contrary to popular belief, i am not retarded))

2: answer their question using only a slight nod or shake of the head. if it is not a yes or no question, shrug one shoulder. the one on their opposite side. verbal answers show confidence and they may ask follow-up questions. with this response, you show that you might be lying and probably didn't care to begin with.

3: stare into your half-way point for another 3 mississippis, and go back to what you were doing. a pause any longer than 3 mississippis ((3 hippopatamuses, for example)) may make them feel obligated to ask a follow-up question. 3 mississippis is just enough time for them to start thinking that you might want a follow-up question, but not enough time to think of a good one or speak it. by the time they come up with a good segue into conversation, you will be blogging furiously and they would not want to interrupt your amazing works.
we're gonna win twins
we're gonna score
we're gonna win twins
watch that baseball soar!
knock out a homerun
shout a hip-hooray!
cheer for the minnesota twins today!



so the twins beat the angels tonight and texas only broadcasted the last two innings so i was unable to sing the minnesota twins fight song at wing pit during the seventh inning stretch.



oh well. your loss.



BUT i have also learned that the chisox are playing the much dreaded piranhas for their home opener! SOO a certain mengtar might be flying to chicago to watch her beloved twinkies kick the shit out of the windedsox in their home opening series. we will see tomorrow.



baseball or drumset?

Sunday, March 30, 2008

by popular ((cx)) demand.

tatertot hotdish:

preheat oven to 350 degrees.

brown 1lb. hamburger.
add whatever seasonings are in the cupboard except cinnamon.
add vegetables ((fresh, frozen, canned, your mom, whatevs))
add 1 can cream soup ((cream of mushroom, cream of celery, cream of chicken, cream of your mom, cream of whatevs))
add 3-4 mississippis of milk ((count one mississippi two mississippi three missippi stop)) also, hippopatomus doesn't work because i stutter sometimes and that's two much milk.
top with tater tots.

bake covered for 45 minutesish and uncovered for 15 minutesish.

optional CHEESE ((because i love cheese)) you can add velveetaish cheese to the hamburgervegetablecreamofwhatevssoup mixture or put mozzerellaish cheese between the hamburgervegetablecreamofwhatevssoup mixture and the tater tots.

not optional: tater tots are to be TOSSED onto the hamburgervegetablecreamofwhatevssoup mixture with optional velveetish cheese or layer of mozzerellaish cheese. they are not to be aligned perfectly so. ((your welcome, sx. in your face, lx.))

this whole post was written with me wearing pants only laying on my bed with my laptop on the floor. my head is pounding and my arms are half asleep and spotted.

how awkward.

Friday, March 28, 2008

first and super importantly, i didn't smoke all day on purpose and i have only hated the past couple hours.

now, back in time...

i had the whole day off work thursday and was excited to get all of the things done that i have been planning to do for weeks... clean the frog cage, vacuum, wash my sheets, whatever.

i painted and drank beer?

i met up with sx and best friend at riprocks for wings and beer. ((special note: mild is still too spicy for mengtar.)) and i burnt his cute but waay too regular friend with my cigarette, which i find is the best first impression one can make if one plans on being awkward around them until... umm... forever.

and i met someone in the music dept. at denton high. he was asking about my tattoo. i told him that i will probably be at ryan high this year and he seemed most disappointed in me. they just lost their percussion instructor and he took down my name and number. ((fuck yes)) also, his friend had a hawaiian shirt. if i were to make a list of pros and cons of teaching at dhs, the guy in the music department's friend would be in the con list.

yes, it is that big of a deal.

i got to do some back-yard underwear tanning thursday too. in a wonderful 86 degrees, i also had to call home and brag to my mom whom still has snow. HA!

but my butt is red. whatever.

after riprocks, we went to some girl from work's symphonic band concert where i ran into old roommate cx. other than insults and sarcasm, we really didn't have much to say to each other. good thing we had to go find seats so i didn't have to stand around and err and umm around every other topic that lasted two sentences.

i was supposed to go home to shower and change into pants and then meet best friend at lou's, but instead i napped until about midnight. ((fuck!!!)) i woke up and hauled ass to the boiler room to catch an AWESOME band.

the sugar free all stars consist of a very bearded drummer and a singer/keyboardist that looked a lot like dr. green from oldschool ER but with no hair instead of not much hair. they basically rocked the house. they were great musicians and their songs were very silly. they also released a kids album a while back that apparently went #1 on xm.

holy impressed5000!

they also played a kids show in shreveport, louisiana ((for the northern readers, st. cloud, minnesota is to madison, wisconsin as denton, texas is to shreveport, louisiana))yesterday and another one today at the denton library this afternoon. if i didn't have to work, i totally would have been there. they played their hit "bathtub roy" at the show. quality.

in the restaurant business, it is common courtesy for the host to alert the server of any special needs your table may need before you greet it. real life examples may include: "your table is an asshole" or "that old lady's farts may sound like puppies, but they smell like carp!" or today's "hey, you're WHOLE table is deaf".

i didn't get that warning.

i approached a table and talked for a good 20 seconds before they noticed that i was there. i didn't realize they were deaf for about another 20 seconds after that. ((i had been working for 12 hours and i get slow and grumpy when i don't eat)) but we laughed a lot ((well, they laughed at me and i was tired and delerious)) and they left a note saying that it was the first time they had eaten at a restaurant and been treated like real people and that they had a lot of fun. and as a ps, they liked me hair.

basically, i rock at everything... all the time, says the deaf ladies.

the night only gets better...

my manager made hotdogs for everyone! if i never told you before, i LOVE hotdogs.

likes: hotdogs.
dislikes: hawaiian shirts.

also, i'm a horrible non-photographer.

also also, i've said it before, but i'm not a good fucking dancer and i don't need you patronizing me every mother fucking time i want to go watch a band. fucking get over it!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

tonight:
soul kitchen with best friend at riprocks.
birthday party for ax at andys.
naked wrestling with homeboy at someone's house.

dueces.
smartass said:

playing poker online... screeeeming at my monitor... fucking donkeys

mengtar said:

whatever. .losing like a loser. i'm trying to paint. it was no bueno.

smartass said:

your trees?

mengtar said:

singular.

smartass said:

that whole backgroud is for one tree? nice. who was that chick in the last picture? on your blog, I mean

mengtar said:

the latest one? ax. it's her birthday.

smartass said:

I like ax


((HALF OF THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!))

mengtar said:

the one that's kissing me? or the one that is just sitting?

smartass said:

the one that is just sitting there

mengtar said:

oh... no. that's cx. she's my roommate.

smartass said:

I liek cx

mengtar said:

why

smartass said:

smartass thinks she's pretty

mengtar said:

i've seen her naked on a few occasions. she's also engaged. sorry, kiddo

smartass said:

why, engaged means there is still time

mengtar said:

well good luck to you


smartass said:

list of things to do:
1) make cx aware of my ecxistance
2) win her heart
3) rock on
what about her guy... is he going to be a problem? do I need to start training?

mengtar said:

physically... no. financially... you play the lottery, right?

smartass said:

haha, no. I'd rather wipe my ass with the dollar. I'd feel like I got more accomplished. wait.... how do you know how much money I make? stay out of my wallet

mengtar said:

but i put the receipts back in order! how could you have known?!?!

smartass said:

so I'll see you at Lx's b-day party, right?

mengtar said:

yeah. broadcasting live via satellite.

smartass said:

cheater

mengtar said:

whatever. it's legit. it's not my fault you're not lazy AND creative

smartass said:

live via satellite is over the top by deffinition. go buy the new meshuggah cd. if you haven't already, do it now!

mengtar said:

i think homeboy downloaded it, but hasn't given it to me.

smartass said:

you used his name?!?!? wierd

mengtar said:

whatever. i'll change it back to homeboy when i put it on my blog anyway. along with mengtar, smartass and cx

smartass said:

sometimes I hate you less
i'm painting myself going to the bathroom at the flying saucer in addison.

also, happy birthday to ax. that is all.

mengtar did some good ol' home cookin last night. tater tot hotdish! homeboy can hate all he wants and fill my comments about how ugly it is, but don't think i didn't see him get up for seconds. i love tater tot hotdish.




i painted a background for my next tree painting. i'll finish it tonight if i get enough drinking done early and decide to not watch lost.





i started re-watching lost from the beginning since they aren't showing any new episodes until april. so far i have been surprised about a thousand times with things that i don't remember.

jack had to identify his dad's dead body in australia and he was on the plane. later they find the casket, but no body. oooo..... spooky! i will continue updating you on season one of lost as i go through it.



also, jack just found water and i forgot that there was a doll in it. i actually think that's gross, because my toys were never clean and i don't think they should be near my drinking water.

oh, they found the empty casket already. i thought it wasn't going to be for a few more episodes. so now jack is being haunted by his dad who is dead but his body isn't in his the box so maybe he's living, i don't remember if this part is ever resolved.



i don't remember boon being this big of a bitch.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

news flash: all dogs go to heaven 2 sucks.

that is all.

Monday, March 24, 2008

sitting inside jupiter by myself, i'm always sure to sit obnoxiously close to my laptop for minimal over-the-shoulder-peers. i'm also sure to spread the rest of my belongings across the table to ensure that no one else will sit by me.

and tonight, being just like any other night, someone tries to sit by me. usually i look around nervously and pack up my shit and slide as close to the wall as possible before he notices that i haven't showered or finds it necessary to peer over my shoulder or compliment my scarf. but one thing was different tonight.

i said no.

to a stranger.

and instead of walking across the room, he sits right fucking behind me.

so while i sit here, formerly content with my crossword puzzle from the quick paper, i turn even more awkward and paranoid than previously thought possible. and with this paranoia comes sensory increases. i am more aware than ever of every whisper and shifting stool behind me. i can feel him. he's trying to look over my shoulder to ready my blog. gross. i don't even let homeboy do that. who the fuck does this guy think he is!?

i think something is wrong. i think they put super extra lactose in my shake. my stomach is cramping and i'm getting chills, though i've warmed since coming back indoors. i might have to become a legit non-dairy person soon.

in more positive news, the worse half of j and l has clued me in to a website of most amazingess. hulu.com has loads of streaming videos... including ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN!!!!!!!! fucking yes. i laughed, i cried, i sang along, it was a grand time i had all by myself. perfectly grand.

how much better/more pathetic can it get? female twenty-something home from work with particularly great hair rolling around in bed in her underwear crying at animated dogs in streaming video... sounds like a singles searching ad.

whatever, i'm going to go home and shit/puke out all my innards before my intestines implode. fucking dairy.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

i came to jupiter house to get some work done on the book, as i've fallen two and a half chapters behind and still have to fix my whole mid-end of february before people read it and think i'm just some emo slut with bad hair.

speaking of hair, uhh... baller hair day. make it a holiday. but it'll be more legit than guinness trying to make st. pat's a national holiday. but i'll forget about it in a week and it'll celebrated with flag day or chinese new years. whatever.

the girl that made my coffee rarely works nights ((of course, i'm not usually here as early as 8p)), but remembers me by my purse. apparently she works at alter-ego ((vintage store, a genre i can only occasionally appreciate)). and they are apparently closing at the end of april, and though they will be getting new inventory for the next two weeks, everything is twenty percent off or more, making me appreciate the genre slightly more than usual.

she started crying, talking about her store closing. as if speaking to a stranger wasn't awkward enough.

also, where the fuck is dumas, tx?

Saturday, March 22, 2008

i looked at my frogs just in time to watch snowflake face plant into the wall trying to catch a fly buzzing around the cage. i love those kids.






today at the og, i was the alcohol-sales contest battleship captain of the 10.30 team. we were victorious with the sinking of three ships with only two misses! i won a black tie mousse cake. sweet.




last night best friend and i danced away to the sounds of soul kitchen at the boiler room while homeboy pretended that he didn't know me. dancing will not be photo-documented until homeboy gets his new camera that will ship in 3-5 business days, but i assure you, a quality time was had by all.







after work, manager wx asked if i would be willing to stop by wal-mart to purchase $40 of kale. have you ever seen $40 of kale? apparently og manager wx hadn't either. it's a lot of kale. i cleaned out wal-mart, kroger and albertsen's with $6.27 to spare. filled my entire passenger seat. wx was impressed and the og is forever debted for my services.

Friday, March 21, 2008

mengtar's incomplete list of goals:

smoke from a pipe.

i also did this:











prettiest coffee ever. compliments to the regular bearded guy. ((not to be confused with the cool bearded guy, but not saying that regular bearded guy isn't cool. figure it out.))

after all of the drinking and crazy that went on this week, i woke up excited that i was going to be working the rest of the weekend and things would slow down...

doubtedly the case.

anyone else up for some soul kitchen at the boiler room? my best friend will be there so there will also be dancing. also, we are good dancers.

i'm not making enough bad decisions in my life to keep myself interested in writing this book. not that things are settling down THAT much, but for the sake of being entertained with my own life, i'm really starting to miss the chaos.

and now for proud moments with mengtar:
a guy came into the og today with a white and green and blue striped polo shirt. it matched my previously photoed underwear exactly.

((you're impressed))

Thursday, March 20, 2008

i saw the bank job ((awesome)) and dark city ((wHeird!)) and i've been experiencing extreme levels of paranoia since. i'm not afraid of getting killed or robbed or taken to an alternate-universe to live a life with someone elses personality and memories... but i really really don't want any strangers to talk to me today. maybe because i really haven't had to talk to anyone the past two days because i haven't been working. tomorrow could get interesting.

i waited to pay off an entire credit card before buying my laptop.

i think i'm going to pay off two before i buy my camera. i think that is the ultimate decision. and if i'm lucky, i'll get one for my birthday and not have to worry about it and then i can go on showing you myself and my friends and the things that i look at in beautifully-focused high-resolution photography.

i don't want to be at jupiter house tonight, but there's really no place that sounds more appealing. two days off work and i'm feeling slightly ridiculous.

i had an idea for a great list. le sigh...
drunken mengtar's don't do well under stressful situations.

but somehow i managed to drive homeboy back to my place, carry him inside, make him a bed of easily washable blankets in the only tiled bathroom, and bribe him into taking off his clothes so they could be washed without getting puke on any carpet, any of my articles of clothing or inside my car.

just a bunch in the neighbors yard. and all over my toilet. and all over his own clothing. maybe some on the outside of my car too. easy.

he's lucky he's cute.
after an oh-so-fun night of putting up with yours games that i have been playing since i met you, i have to say that i'm about done.

and i know it's your birthday and all and i helped you the fuck out more than you're going to remember tomorrow and you'er mother fucking lucky and owe me BIG time, but dude, seriously, i can't play this game any more.

so if you want to continue on your fucking ego trip with little else holding you up then fucking go ahead. but enjoy yourself, because i'm getting sick of hanging around.

that is all.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008



vs.



you decide.
i was on the phone with my sister when i decided it would be a good time to play with my webcam. apparently you can set it to take a picture every three seconds... or whatever time you so wish... i wished three. so here are a hundred pictures of me not moving but making different faces and talking and giggling about everything awesome...






momx bought me this necklace in mexico!





sx is explaining to me the holiday of Beaster. this holiday is celebrated with all of your friends bringing over cans of the beast ((milwaukee's best)), decorating the cans, and hiding them! then you have a beaster can hunt!





i wonder if they keep that in the import aisle...



oh, look! more settings!




pass.




only one thing can make me giggle this hard...



bannermania!



tonight: riprocks. homeboys bday. do it.