i'm waiting for px to text me back and give the a-okay for the dates i gave to fly to LA!! ((holy shit, i'm going to LA!)) so i'm busy raiding everyone's myspace pages and laughing at their losery.



cx pointed out in a picture from a few years ago how my face looked "uhh... rounder..." ha yes... so here is more of me and my former roundness. not that i am unrounded now, just less round.

Being goofy


also, i believe that he could single-handedly take down the dallas ((un-north)) stars... in a fist fight anyway.



i miss my friends' music and awesome shows in minnesota. for some reason, these silly texans haven't figured out that i'm kind of a big deal.



also, who's coming to the next crashsight show with me? no joke, this video kind of sucks... way flat and obnoxiously articulate. but i love watching them. fuck yourself.



i couldn't help but laugh through.... almost all of this. ((i miss it))

so nights like this when i'm in the mood for nothing ((not even whiskey or cigarettes)) are when i start thinking... what if i just went home... am i conditioned for a 15-hour drive? would i miss this place? what about toronto?

i can't stay here forever. and i have the feeling that when my time comes, it will just be over. little packing. no peaces or dueces.

i even doubt i'd be better off elsewhere. maybe because i have moved to a different state for the past four years. maybe denton just feels too familiar. this stagnance is making me ill.

don't get me wrong, it's not that i don't enjoy my time here. i have the best friends that do great things for me and that i would do about anything for. they buy me drinks and mattresses and kick out exes and give me hugs and listen when i need it. but sometimes i feel the reason i haven't left is because it would be too hard to say goodbye.

maybe i just need a vacation home. maybe because homeboy is running off to visit friends in cities that i'm missing people the most. ((chicago and baton rouge))

i hope staying here another year isn't a mistake.

maybe i just need to get out of this airport and into this wheelchair, i've got better things to do than looking at you...

caught the crashsight cd release show on friday. it turned out pretty baller. it was pretty cool seeing d'amato and a couple of the old work people... and creepy hx that wanted to get me in a threeway with his gay roommate... if you recall, bx said he has two mommies.

photos will be shared post photo-shopping because i couldn't remember how to change my camera settings for shitty show-lighting. balls.

also, i saw this girl that was decently unattractive wearing an ugly tent-dress get her crotch grabbed by an even more unattractive dude. i threw up a little in my mouth. save it for your cheeto-stained living room sofa, please.

the minute homeboy left my side, some dock-worker fresh from the fish market asked if he was my boyfriend. my eyes grew to ultra-panic-size and i said yes and turned away quickly... whew... one more conversation i will never have to have.

i made a peach smoothie for breakfast because i'm out of raspberries and i don't think strawberries and peaches would mesh well and i didn't want to open a new container of raspberry yogurt.

i really like shitty music today.

i went to the wing pit xmas party last night. ate some kickin chinese in lewisville. then went bowling. i turkeyed the first game and didn't even break 100 in the second. balls to that.

there was a girl at the bowling alley wearing the same tent dress as the girl whose crotch was diddled at the curtain club, but she was under 200 lbs. and asian, and i've already accepted that asians can wear whatever the fuck they want and it will be okay...

also, when picking out my clothes, i like to pretend that i'm asian.

my bff left me some crazy-kid voicemail last night. wow. and the little miss desperate award goes to...

travis and i drove to deep ellum to watch miles rock the fuck out at the curtain club tonight. crashsight = ridiculously awesome. i love their music and their onstage performance is awesomely energetic. adverbs are our friends.

abby and justin were no-shows. claim money. whatever.

also playing was industry6. musically descent. onstage presence was definitely lacking. energy scored about a -3.



zombies. yes, zombies.

between bands travesty and i ordered a couple beers. some dude named clint or glen pulls me over and asks if t-funk is my boyfriend. i say no. he buys me a drink. i'm okay with this. i don't manipulate people into buying me drinks. however, i don't argue. that would be impolite.

we talk for a bit and travis starts watching industry6. however, he has moved to just outside of "get me the fuck out of here" range. mistake #1, baller. however, later he tells me that he's going to buy me another beer. i turn around and order and then he invites me over to his place after the show. i told him no because i was driving travis home also. luckily at this point it becomes slightly less awkward because he came back to stand by me. then clint/glen gets mad and refuses to pay for the beer because i won't sleep with him.

boys: do not let this happen. ever. this is grounds for revokation of baller-status.

that is all.

also, finch's album say hello to sunshine = double baller status.

tonight: crashsight. 11pm. curtain club.
tomorrow: a shallow grave. 8pm. hailey's.

with bells on, fuckers.

jx was out of town this weekend for drum corps and shit. it was lonely without him. i worked double shifts every day, but still had to try filling every extra hour to keep my mind off missing him.

friday night i went down to the curtain club in dallas to catch a friend's band. crash sight. they were pretty fucking good. a lot better than i thought they were going to be. i was impressed.

saturday night i chilled with basically the same people and hung out at ax's apartment. her cat dez hogged the couch. her boyfriend made me stay up and watch vacuum and chuck norris infomercials.

torii hunter just batted in joe mauer. 8-2. yankees lead.

it was really nice getting jx back home. to fuck him, to sleep next to him, to be held by him. it's hard knowing that after two years i'm going to be giving it all up soon.

we saw grindhouse, the new tarantino/rodriguez film at the movie tavern today. it was awesome. the first half was rough because i was trying to eat the whole time... and it was pretty gross to watch... but the second half of the first half was just plain funny. the second part of the double feature film was absolutely awesome. i laughed. hard.

naveen andres ((sayid, the hottie in lost)) was in the first feature. i love that guy.

apparently the girl that was our server at the tavern also spins at tjs on wednesday nights. interesting. i caught an"i'm trying to pick you up" vibe from jx when he introduced himself to her. it made me nauseous and i cried a little bit. he didn't notice.