the return to denton wasn't horrible and i got a good lunch and trip to the aquarium out of it! we'll say it's because i was cute and not because he owed me for all the beer i've bought. but it's whatever.

the aquarium was nothing short of fantastic.

i didn't see any whales but there was a crocodile the size of a whale. i was scared.

when we were in the little glass tube looking at all the sharks, i was getting a bit angsty, but faar too excited to have an anxiety attack. but BALLS was that awesome. i just imagined the glass cracking and getting flooded by thousands and thousands of gallons of sharkwater and then being eaten alive right in front of all those seven year old pukemonkies. ((clarification: puke monkies are children, not monkies... but there were totally monkies present.))

if i had remembered to bring my camera cord to jupiter, i would be showing you pictures of sharks and stingrays and such, but i didn't, so i won't.

that is all.

chicago was a complete success.

we didn't spend as much time in the city as any of us had expected, but downer's grove proved to be more exciting than any of us had expected.

yesterday was italian night. lasagna, wine and painting. we ventured out to buy groceries and chianti and i bought yet another outfit at target ((this week only: mengtar is the cutest thing ever)) and matching kicks from payless... also, kicks is double plural because they had a bogo sale.

also, the downer's grove payless salesman is the coolest guy frpm chicago i've ever met. well, guy from chicago that i met in chicago... sure.

after clothes and shoes, we finally made it to the grocery store and home for some fine lasagna and wine and painted MODERN art... well, momx and sx painted random shapes and i made trees which weren't modern at all, but the painting was completely baller and i wanted to take it home.

oh well. cx and i will have a painting reincarnate night immediately followed by a painting hang-a-thon because my walls are bare and my house is a bore.

i woke up to confusing text messages from a seemingly somber jx.

jx said:

do you believe that people can change?

mengtar said:

absolutely.

jx said:

you are radiant and sensational.

sometimes it's nice to hear compliments before you accept your own death via planecrash.

((don't be alarmed, every time i ride a plane, i come into full acceptance that it is my deathday. i assure you, this is not new. i hate planes.))

chicago is my favorite city to fly over. second prettiest skyline in the us. second to minneapolis, of course.

i like being cute in airports and wearing sunglasses because people will assume you are a big deal. i'm glad i shaved my armpits this morning. if i hadn't and someone noticed, it would have devastating effects on my big deal status.

i shaved my armpits this morning. i am a big deal.

i have finished another book by the indespensible kurt vonnegut. timequake. if i had finished the rest of the collection ((working on it)) i might say that it is his best book since his slaughter-house days. i'm glad that now i can discuss it with best friend and the girl from work who is definitely not my friend, but i will talk to her because she just recently finished timequake as well. i'm over it.

homeboy is taking me to the aquarium today. things i want to see at the aquarium:
sea dragons ((because they were on animal planet today as the number two most extreme disguises.))
balluga whale. ((because of the raffi song and because cx said they had a whale.))
cougar ((because i heard they had one, and that is just silly))

speaking of silly, did you know that your eyelashes are just silia? whoa.

also, sharks are neat, but if i get too scared, i will have no use for the swimsuit and loosely-knit over-suit thing i also bought. i mean, i'll wear it someplace eventually, but with little or no purpose.

water = scary. damn you, stephen speilburg!

one thing i continue to find interesting when i travel is that when strangers talk to me, they often ask about my nationality.

uhh... white?

this time i was told i had an interesting accent and asked by a polite businessman if i was from the ukraine. no... minnesota. not even fucking close.

other popular potentials are russia and new york. new york is not a nationality, i understand this. strangers do not. i'm over it.

now i have to wait forever for homeboy to pick my ass up from public. i'm beginning to re-hate being in public. it comes and goes. currently, it is gone.

i spent my yesterday being a girl.

i forgot my sunglasses in texas, so i went through sx's stash...







we went shopping. a lot.

our first stop was the lucky boutique. if you're from denton, it looks a lot like la di da. i bought a DRESS because i'm basically the cutest thing ever. now i just need to find something that i can wear a dress to... homeboy and i may have decided on a play of sorts... that's a good idea. after running around grabbing everything off racks and putting almost everything back, we found a 3-dollar box.

we raped the 3-dollar box.

i also got some kickin jeans ((most money i have EVER spent on a pair of pants though... totally worth it)) and a shirt that just might be my aquarium shirt...

i think i'm going to the dallas aquarium tomorrow... don't bomb it.

we picked out some glasses frames for sx at sears optical and tried on about a thousand pairs. i remember giggling a lot and taking pictures and people looking at me like why is she taking pictures when there are mirrors EVERYWHERE?!? they seemed almost angry about it.






old navy was also an amazing idea. i got a swim suit and some other things that i don't even remember.

after the play, i will find a place to go swimming.

i almost got one that was FAR cuter, but my boobs wouldn't stay inside. it was not swim-safe. it also did not pass the shark attack test. i'm over it.



we went to a baller pub for microbrew ((where i sold my soul for their oatmeal stout)) and $2 burgers. however, these weren't like minneapolis' dollar sporty burgers... these were some massive burgers. fuckin great.

post-burgers we wanted to rent the muppet movie to watch this morning, but they only had muppet christmas carol. i voted all dogs go to heaven, but was countered with two nays.

broadcasting LIVE from sx’s beautiful chicago apartment!

what a day what a day.

last night i talked to strangers. for my last night in denton, homeboy and i went to texas 8ball and ran into some homies that I dared not challenge to a game of suck. instead we got free balls and a pitcher and i did not run the table.



however, upon my arrival it went something like this…

mengtar said:

pitcher of shiner, please. ((i’m so polite))

randomdudex said:

actually, babe, i'm drinking whiskey and coke.

mengtar said:

well that’s nice.

randomdudex said:

oh… is it because i called you babe?

mengtar said:

yeah, us yankees aren’t into that.

randomdudex said:

yeah, they furthest north I’ve ever been is chicago.

mengtar said:

i’m actually going to chicago tomorrow!

random dude said:

really? bla bla bla bla dance music…bla bla… go here… and here… whatever I’m not listening.

homeboy showed up and we walked away. he said something later and i pretended not to hear.

we left for the airport hella early for my 9.45a flight so homeboy could still make it to his 8a class. i was at the airport at like 7.15ish. turns out my itinerary was changed to a direct flight at 10.55. whatev. as we boarded, they changed our departure to 11.45.

::le sigh::

it took almost two hours to locate my luggage because we were told to go five different baggage claims. this part of the story is much more interesting with arm motions and impressions.

it was okay, though, because momx’s flight was delayed and cancelled four times and we left the airport around 8p. 13 hours in planes and airports. excellente.







i received the grande tour of downtown downer’s grove. featuring midwestern and a hospital and a school where px did not teach drumline. whatever.

we inhaled a million tacos while discussing lost.







everyone went to bed while sx and i made snow men and snow angels and snow forts that may or may not be blocking a certain lx’s vehicle…


before i left for chicago, i organized my closet and it looks like this. i'm okay with it.

i’m over it. my pants are cold and wet and snowy and it is time for bed.

((bballa))

also, the internet doesn’t work so we will try again tomorrow.

also, stay tuned for the details of the ridiculousness that was last night's party.

every now and then i'll be super-girly-emotional for a day...

i just cried at the end of air bud.



i'm just glad i have to go to work because i think if i sat through the sequel, air bud: golden receiver, i might need to seek counseling.

i caught the barbacks show last night at the boiler room. some decent country with a great live performance. fun to watch... and the violinist is HOT! i'm not gonna lie, i was just watching her the whole time. whatever. you'd be too.

before they went on, we ran into my bff. maybe luckily, she left shortly after and i didn't have to listen to her feed me compliments because i look so nice and i have nice soft hips and a great rack. and then she got into detailed questioning about my eating habits and whether or not i've become more physically active and i got into my one word answers. no. perhaps. no. all whilst debating on whether i should tell her i went through weight-loss hypnosis or had an abortion or something drastic. that is all. can i drink now?

maybe that's how it should always be. lie, then drink. i like this game.

but then i had to work all day and am working all day tomorrow and THEN!!!!

jxnumbereightyseven's farewell party at my house! you don't have to know him. just come to my party tomorrow night. shalt be grande!

then i work all day sunday and THEN!!!!

I get to go to chicago!!!!

so basically i won't be spending any money this weekend. no more drinking or coffeeing ((sad panda, i want some jupiter hardcore)) until i see how much i spend in chicago then come home and pay all my bills. maybe that'll also help with my feeling-slightly-sickly as of late. just coughs and sniffles... but no fun.

one day i will take pictures... maybe.

last night was enjoyable, even though it was not quite as planned. i went up to lou's to catch the lunar eclipse ((or loonar eclipx, if you're momx)) with bballa and co. and was joined by homeboy shortly after. we continued drinking there with the best intentions of walking to riprocks to catch fatty-poindexter-soul-relentless-fatty-relentless-whateverness but best friend came to lou's after they started and he said that nobody was there and they weren't very good so we nixed that pretty quickly.

we also ran into one of homeboy's friends that i should have photographed but i thought he might think i was pretty creepy or something but he reminded me of the guy from the starbucks drive-thru before i fell out of love with him. i complimented his jacket and he was overly-gratified because his students hate it and say that it looks like it's from the clearance rack of american eagle. it made me feel like i had no taste ((which i don't)) whatever.

my legs are bruised-up-central today. almost makes me wish i was in a violent relationship just so i would have an excuse.

also ran into some black-eyed pea kids which was awkward because we used to be really good friends and i wasn't drunk enough to actually want to talk to any of them... whatever. we will always have our days of shots and beer at chilis between shifts. oh well.

also, my roommates vaccumed the living room yesterday and hid the bathroom scale so i can't be obsessive-compulsive about my status every morning. damn them! either that or mx took it back... in which case i would actually have BUY one. and as we all know, i don't BUY things. except drinks and laptops. but that's for the best.

i'm wearing my poetry slam outfit in honour of tonight's lunar eclipse.

((that's right. honour, bitches. and don't you forget it))

also, fatty poindexter and soul relentless are playing tonight at riprocks in their collaberation project that best friend and i refer to as fatty relentless, which may or may not be the actual name of their collaberated group.

anyway, be there.

whoa...

Message from the Commander in Chief

Dear compatriots:

Last Friday, February 15, I promised you that in my next reflection I would deal with an issue of interest to many compatriots. Thus, this now is rather a message.

The moment has come to nominate and elect the State Council, its President, its Vice-Presidents and Secretary.

For many years I have occupied the honorable position of President. On February 15, 1976 the Socialist Constitution was approved with the free, direct and secret vote of over 95% of the people with the right to cast a vote. The first National Assembly was established on December 2nd that same year; this elected the State Council and its presidency. Before that, I had been a Prime Minister for almost 18 years. I always had the necessary prerogatives to carry forward the revolutionary work with the support of the overwhelming majority of the people.

There were those overseas who, aware of my critical health condition, thought that my provisional resignation, on July 31, 2006, to the position of President of the State Council, which I left to First Vice-President Raul Castro Ruz, was final. But Raul, who is also minister of the Armed Forces on account of his own personal merits, and the other comrades of the Party and State leadership were unwilling to consider me out of public life despite my unstable health condition.

It was an uncomfortable situation for me vis-à-vis an adversary which had done everything possible to get rid of me, and I felt reluctant to comply.

Later, in my necessary retreat, I was able to recover the full command of my mind as well as the possibility for much reading and meditation. I had enough physical strength to write for many hours, which I shared with the corresponding rehabilitation and recovery programs. Basic common sense indicated that such activity was within my reach. On the other hand, when referring to my health I was extremely careful to avoid raising expectations since I felt that an adverse ending would bring traumatic news to our people in the midst of the battle. Thus, my first duty was to prepare our people both politically and psychologically for my absence after so many years of struggle. I kept saying that my recovery "was not without risks."

My wishes have always been to discharge my duties to my last breath. That's all I can offer.

To my dearest compatriots, who have recently honored me so much by electing me a member of the Parliament where so many agreements should be adopted of utmost importance to the destiny of our Revolution, I am saying that I will neither aspire to nor accept, I repeat, I will neither aspire to nor accept the positions of President of the State Council and Commander in Chief.

In short letters addressed to Randy Alonso, Director of the Round Table National TV Program, --letters which at my request were made public-- I discreetly introduced elements of this message I am writing today, when not even the addressee of such letters was aware of my intention. I trusted Randy, whom I knew very well from his days as a student of Journalism. In those days I met almost on a weekly basis with the main representatives of the University students from the provinces at the library of the large house in Kohly where they lived. Today, the entire country is an immense University.

Following are some paragraphs chosen from the letter addressed to Randy on December 17, 2007:

"I strongly believe that the answers to the current problems facing Cuban society, which has, as an average, a twelfth grade of education, almost a million university graduates, and a real possibility for all its citizens to become educated without their being in any way discriminated against, require more variables for each concrete problem than those contained in a chess game. We cannot ignore one single detail; this is not an easy path to take, if the intelligence of a human being in a revolutionary society is to prevail over instinct.

"My elemental duty is not to cling to positions, much less to stand in the way of younger persons, but rather to contribute my own experience and ideas whose modest value comes from the exceptional era that I had the privilege of living in.

"Like Niemeyer, I believe that one has to be consistent right up to the end."

Letter from January 8, 2008:

"...I am a firm supporter of the united vote (a principle that preserves the unknown merits), which allowed us to avoid the tendency to copy what came to us from countries of the former socialist bloc, including the portrait of the one candidate, as singular as his solidarity towards Cuba. I deeply respect that first attempt at building socialism, thanks to which we were able to continue along the path we had chosen."

And I reiterated in that letter that "...I never forget that 'all of the world's glory fits in a kernel of corn."

Therefore, it would be a betrayal to my conscience to accept a responsibility requiring more mobility and dedication than I am physically able to offer. This I say devoid of all drama.

Fortunately, our Revolution can still count on cadres from the old guard and others who were very young in the early stages of the process. Some were very young, almost children, when they joined the fight on the mountains and later they have given glory to the country with their heroic performance and their internationalist missions. They have the authority and the experience to guarantee the replacement. There is also the intermediate generation which learned together with us the basics of the complex and almost unattainable art of organizing and leading a revolution.

The path will always be difficult and require from everyone's intelligent effort. I distrust the seemingly easy path of apologetics or its antithesis the self-flagellation. We should always be prepared for the worst variable. The principle of being as prudent in success as steady in adversity cannot be forgotten. The adversary to be defeated is extremely strong; however, we have been able to keep it at bay for half a century.

This is not my farewell to you. My only wish is to fight as a soldier in the battle of ideas. I shall continue to write under the heading of 'Reflections by comrade Fidel.' It will be just another weapon you can count on. Perhaps my voice will be heard. I shall be careful.

Thanks.

Fidel Castro Ruz

February 18, 2008

i've become incredibly furious and anxious and upset in the last hourish sa i have discovered a missing book. THE missing book. my first 8 regrets of 2008. i still remember them and am already working on re-outlining them in case it doesn't turn up. i hope i can remember the details and all of my perfected one-liners before i lose my mind.

jupiter house feels like it's 12 degrees even though it's probably 65, but still too cold. i think i hate the 50s and 60s because my body chills resemble those that i get with fever chills. gross. makes me want to go home and pop a few ibuprofen so i can wake up in sweat-soaked sheets tomorrow morning. my favorite.

fuck this place. i can't wait to go to chicago and enjoy my 12 degree weather and snow. i will take photos galore and party hardcore with my ladies.

sometimes i wake up wondering if that's really what he said as i was drifting off to sleep. what a difficult day.

i've lost all of my room-cleaning motivation and am seeking sustenance.

TWO years ago today:

I watched Dr. Phil at my other job today. He had on girls that were self-proclaimed bitches. This one girl was explaining to Dr. Phil how to be a bitch. This is how you be a bitch:

1: Have blond hair. ((no joke, she said that brunettes aren't bitches. just blondes.))
2: Don't move for people. ((like when you're walking down a sidewalk or a narrow hallway, walk in the middle and then bump peoples shoulders and call them a bitch or a whore))
3: If you're waiting in line at a store for more than one full minute, just leave. Leave your cart in the line, and just walk out of the store.
4: Drive a nice car.
5: Destress with a bubble bath. ((because being a bitch is hard work))

Then Dr. Phil asked her what tragic event made her be this way. She got two words into her story and she started crying. The top of my how to be a bitch would be "don't cry... ever" because to be a bitch, you have to be a badass. Get some fucking balls woman!

book work will continue to be handwritten and my bedroom will continue being looking nagasaki-esque. until i stop being lazy and decide that productivity is a good thing.

regrets are harder to come by these days, which isn't necessarily a bad thing because i get to nit-pick into the ridiculous parts of my personality that drive me crazy and make my friends giggle. but as i go, i'm starting to become more and more self-concious of my writing and how well this idea is going to pan out. maybe i'll get lucky and make a huge mistake in chicago. i welcome any regrets short of my finances or my laptop or atom bombs.

also, immediately post-chitown, i start my og training for my to-go and ct positions. bballa by definition.

homeboy's friends j and l have two ferrets and enough other rodents to fit in two hands ((if they're not running around)) i hampster-gerbil and a couple mice i think or something.

last night i dreamt up that i was pet-sitting for j and l and they all got loose and the ferrets were eating the hampster-gerbils and the hampster gerbils were eating the mice. and i was trying to catch them all and be able to hold them all in my hands but they kept slipping out and running under furniture. i went crazy.



and of course it was one of those nights where you keep waking up and re-dreaming it and get a little farther each time. but each time they had more pets. by the end they had like 8 ferrets and 30-something hampster-gerbils and probably a hundred mice.

it ended with all of them dying except luna and walter ((the two REAL ferrets)) but then i accidentally let the dogs in the house and they were eaten.

then i woke up and blogged and listened to blue stars midi files.

the end!

my recent obsession: pat neshek's blog ...

also, he's MUCH cuter from an angle without a hat.



baseball season is ALMOST HERE!

((don't hate))

i woke up late for work and was generally uncomfortable and irritable the whole day, despite being partnered with rx and making decent tips.

i decided it was nap time when i got home and when i took off my pants i realized that my underwear was on backwards.




brazilian cut panties are dumb!!!!

congratulations played at the boiler room saturday night and all the og cool kids were there, including the last cup allstars. fuck yes. good times were had and okay-photos were taken. it's whatever.



i ate like three pounds of broccoli for lunch and i'm not sure how that's going to work out.




i went up to jupiter house last night to start transferring my hand-written work to my laptop for my book. i didn't even finish dickin around on the internet before i was bothered by a dx wanting me to come next door to hooligans to play darts. i declined until a far more convincing and better looking kx came and made the same request. it was fun. team hurley beat team balls inc. ((guess what team i'm on)) two out of three games. i'm over it.



my teammate was kind of nice but he had long hair that i didn't like and was wearing full-body camouflage and kept trying to touch me ((not inappropriately, i just don't like physical contact with strangers)) and his shirt was unbuttoned to his stomach revealing an ugly tattoo that i didn't want to hear about. he kept singing tool songs poorly and claimed to sing in a band of sorts. i didn't really care.



i was far more concerned over weather or not kx was actually going to buy me the other drink he promised me when he convinced me to leave my comfortable recliner in the coffee shop. he did. they were miller lites, but i didn't mind.

i had smoked mozzerella fonduta for breakfast, so i think i'll have a smoothie for dinner... yes... after my nap... then jupiter maybe...

mengtar's coolness 1001:

don't blend in, but act as if you do.

speak spanish.

be hyperly unaware of how fucking amazing and mysterious you are.

carry a flask.

keep a steak knife tucked away in your sock.

have blood stains on at least one article of clothing.

carry oranges.

wear hi-top sneakers and jogging pants.

have some sort of albino housepet.

quote your grandfather regularly.

make abstract observations about your surroundings.

tell people you're too busy to talk to them, but then retreat into a corner and write things down, then leave.

fall down stairs with a full beer in your hand.

if you leave, return wearing something different and three germans at your side who don't speak english.

only apologize for apologizing and being awesome.

have a knit sweater with your name stitched into it.

have your own name tattooed in a heart on your arm.

if someone says they are hungry go get them a bag of chips out of nowhere, but then eat the entire bag in front of them and toss them without looking.

order whiskey straight up. put in your own ice cubes.

don't hold your drinks. place it on the bar like it's a burden.

hold a big plant.

write notes on peices of paper and bury them or hide them.

i forgot that i still hadn't seen the first episode of this seasons' lost. in a flashforward hugo is in a mental institution and charlie visits. i jumped up from the love sac in excitement. about a minute later he explains to hugo that he IS dead and so far it is the biggest disappointment of my day.

don't worry, i have several hours to go.

and until now, i forgot about my morning.

nevermind.

message i received this morning:

My apologies to everyone.
I have finally made the decision to enter treatment/rehab. Ill be leaving XXXX enroute to XXXX and will be in XXXX.
I want everyone to know how Ive hitten rockbottom. I woke up today with an empty 1.75 of vodka and multiple painkillers, xanax, and other pills sprawled out everywhere. How I woke up today is completely beyond me. All I have left in my life is a trail of pain and misery to myself and the ones I care about, because I have refused to get help sooner for everything I swore I didnt have a problem with. I have lost trust and confidence to basically everyone who I care about, and will never get it back. All I can do is say Im sorry. This is my last chance to make it right or there is no doubt in my mind I will die.

cx, in the last month, i've lost two friends to drug overdoses. i'm glad you're taking the right steps. with everyone else, i'm very proud of you. and let me know when you're out of rehab, i'll be overdue for a trip home. i love you!

some days all i want to do is lay around and cuddle... but no one else is here...

i love having dogs. and a laptop. and my blanketpants. and blog-cuddling... with dogs.

going on my third day since i last slept. but after work i might go to the dog park and blog about all of the other dogs there that are too spoiled and how well-behaved my dogs are. ((as if i needed more reasons to not have kids))




but it's probably going to be 40 degrees so i might be the only one at the park.

i'm over it.

tonight: congratulations is playing at the boiler room. midnight. see you there.

now that i have a computer that doesn't run on gerbils, i was able to install the greatest computer game of all time... WOLFENSTEIN-3D! for those of you who are unfamiliar, wolf 3d is an early 90's WWII first person shooter game. takes me back to those wonderful MS-DOS days... so i re-installed it to my computer... doesn't work.



there was also a barney the dinosaur version... incredible.

i haven't slept the last two nights and my biggest disappointment of the week is still that i can't work wolf 3d.




i'm glad i have some days where the biggest decisions i have to make is what fruits to include in my breakfast smoothie.

also, cx, i assure you that much writing has been happening, and now i get to transfer my pages and pages and pages of writing to my laptop ((yay)) good thing i got it when i did.

and as far as the nuetral shot... i'm working on it... i have another 9 months to go. that's a full pregnancy between now and when you need it.

love, mengtar.

today i am taking... a NEW ROUTE TO WORK! ::gasp::

35e southbound traffic was crazy-backed up all the way up to my house, so i'm going to try taking the loop to brinker to colorado so i can get some batteries for my ipod speakers at dollar general and then back to the og to finish my day.

and that's your traffic report.

homeboy said:

so i was going to make you a vday card that consisted of a dirty joke and a human with a knife in it but when i got up to do it they put all the stuff away.

((awww, happy valentine's day to you too!!))

what are you doing, mengtar?



making breakfast.

are you wearing a scarf?

yes, and last night's bar clothes even though i just did laundry and have piles of outfits that smell like springtime.

i may be slipping from my ledge of sanity.

i like looking at my bedhead in the reflection on my computer monitor when my laptop goes to sleep.




UGH i ate waaay too much breakfast stir-fry and drank a thousand glasses of water and my head is pounding worse than when i woke up. i think it's time to go back to bed. but i'm still glad that my poetry-slam outfit jeans fit again.




at least i bought my hairspray and toilet paper.

i think its time to poop and then go back to sleep until work.

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY:


I got my house key today!!! yay! that means I live in a house. awesome. I think I might start moving shit over there on Saturday. I don't even know.

so when I was going to buy John Wario Ware for Wii, this dude in my Sociology class that works at Gamestop was telling me about this other game that I shouldn't buy because he said it sucked called Need for Speed Carbon. I kind of want to play it just so I can be my own judge in case it's actually pretty decent. I guess you hold the remote sideways with the bottom of it facing the floor, holding it in both hands like a steering wheel. He said the game is something for losers with no friends ((which is perfect because I am totally a loser with no friends)) and people in the game come up to your car and speak to you through the driver's side window like you are friends and in their "crew" and you drive around together winning territory off other crews in this city that doesn't exist. The people are pre-recorded actors that they added a lot of fancy color effect to to make them look computer simulated, I don't know. I give this game a seven in my mind.....

Also, this day is the marking of tragedy. There has been a death in family.



Mercury Tracer, 1994-2007. Always loved, never forgotten.

With all the ridiculous snow and cold weather up in Minnesota, a car pulled out in front of my sister, Kelsey, on Highway 10 and she couldn't stop in time. She broke her hand and will be unable to finish her last season with the Sauk Rapids Drumline. Sorry, hun. Love you, and get well soon.... wait... fuck that... get well now.

but on a lighter note....



Sarah has fish.

broadcasting not-so-much LIVE... but from MY LAPTOP!

so news to me, don't blog drunk.








also, as long as i am no longer stressed out to defcon-9, i announce my re-re-re-quitting smoking. your welcome.

i am sitting pretty with my laptop and mattress. soon to be ruler of the world. czar perhaps. i think czar is ready to make a comeback.

i attended cx's concert tonight. it wasn't in the big concert hall, maybe because it was a small recital or something. i don't know these things. but with all modern music that was composed by students. contrary to popular belief, i enjoyed it... sort of.






the girl sitting behind me was breathing really loud. i thought someone was snoring behind me for the whole first half. i hate loud breathers. i don't even like quiet breathers. everyone can just stop breathing around me. work on that.





also, there was a flute piece with piano accompaniment. the floutest was wearing a shiny black long-sleeved shirt that was beyond unflattering with black pants that were okay and one of those weird ultra-loose knit around-the-waist tied things that are kind of like an old-lady shawl but is on your butt instead. it was completely unnecessary... i couldn't get over what she was wearing enough to listen to the piece. i have my moments.

what takes me old computer 40 minutes to upload to homeboy's flashdrive takes my laptop 3.5 minutes. fuck. yes.



((sad panda))