i ran twice yesterday totalling 6 miles. afterwards i had to drag my sweaty-ass out to drink ((details on how awesome i am later)) and come home and have sex.

probably the most exhausting thing ever.

((not gonna lie, i checked out about half-way through. sorry))

i was so crabby about my afternoon run sucking so bad that i decided to run again after work... another shitty run time.

but highlights of tonights run were:
mengtar not looking both ways before crossing the street and almost getting obliterated by a semi.
mengtar getting pokey grass stuck in her ankle ((in the dark, mind you)) and screaming "SCORPIONS!" and running to the nearest un-grassy area crying and almost coming to terms with jesus. ((jan would have been so proud))
mengtar forgetting to remove her headband pre-run and then pouting later because it's full of sweat and probably going to be smelly or discolored or something else unpleasant.

i waited on the principle harpist for the dallas symphony orchestra tonight and her husband who was some percussion head back in the day for the university of michigan. when i told her i was still debating going to school for music she said that i should email her a date and she could get me free tickets to the orchestra. ((bballa!)). and her husband invited me to some event that he hosts every december where the wind symphony performs. umm... also sweet. finish with a descently awesome tip and i was a pretty happy mengtar.

after my one week running hiatus, i just had the worst 3-mile run time out of anyone under 500lbs.

highlights of my run:
all of my favorite ill nino songs were played first
i almost run-stepped and more than likely would have squished a dead bird but opted for jerking my body in the other direction, forcing myself to do that crazy cartoon-like stumble where you're leaning waay forward and trying to get your feet to catch up with your body and fell into some tall weeds along university.. someone honked in what i believe to be humored appreciation.
i got stung or bit or shot in the leg. ((woo fun!))
bx drove by, turned around, drove by again to wave, turned around, and then drove past again to ask if i wanted a ride and "say hi, i guess"

also, i'm not allowed to spend any more money... ever.

You have my prayers and best wishes in your turn from sin toward the light of god. However, your desire to be grotesquely thin is disheartening. Jesus loves you any way you are, and He sees your beauty always. May this remain in your head throughout your sobriety and weight-loss ventures. --anonymous

dear jan,
uhh... thanks? and i think it's time that you start takinig nothing i say seriously and pray for your children that are about to come out of the closet in rebellion of their overly-religious upbringing.
love, mengtar

Hopefully your boobs will stay the same. They're hot. --anonymous

dear anonymous,
yes.
love, mengtar

Was that first post by your former pro-jesus coworker from Rice? I can't remember the name of the restaurant or her name right now... Rick's Cafe? Keiths Kettle? Jan? --sisterx

dear sisterx,
because i don't know anyone else that actually talks like that, i have no choice but to believe that, yes, jan from the twin pines family restaurant in rice, minnesota has infiltrated my blog. oh, how i miss the days of her praying for me and how i would then insult her and how she would then take a break in the walk-in cooler and cry.
love, mengtar

I'll smoke and drink for you. --anonymous

dear anonymous,
your support is greatly appreciated. be sure to come back and tell me all of your stories and rub in my face how amazing of a time you are having and how your blog is flourishing with drunken stories as mine drops to single-digit hits daily and then one day invite me out to hang with you and watch you smoke and drink and i will knife your palms like jack bauer.
love, mengtar

i think it's time for another sober week... starting tomorrow.

also, no smoking.

also, i think i'm done eating until i look like christian bale in the machinist.







wish me luck.

most of this is not-taking manual live-blogging from mostly tonight but basically all day.

toby thompson is doing a book signing for his book "positively 4th st: minnesota's bob dylan" at dylan days in hibbing, mn. my aunt is getting me a signed copy. ((thanks auntie sharon)) also, there will be more posters and maybe a plane ticket.

i went to cool beans to watch the keyboard/singer from congratulations do some solo shit. when i was at the bar there were three ultra-southern-hick dudes that had just arrived and one turned to me and just said "hey, baby, you single?" umm... you're thirty-five and... ew.

later they were asking the bartender if some bar down fry street was a gay bar. it's summer and the college kids are leaving, so don't touch me ever and fucking get out of my town and can i get a shiner draft, please?

the chairs that i was sitting on ((there were several different types)) were like the grade k chairs in mrs. bogie's class. the cracked fiberglass ones that were waay comfortable... and since being drunk brings you back to grade k, they were equally comfortable.

also there was this jewel.

mengtar said:

can i get two shiners and a shot of beam?

cute dude in white shirt said:

you should get two.

mengtar took her shot and said:

he's not that cute.

cute dude in white shirt was in the middle of a drink and spit beer everywhere all zach morris on saved by the bell style and i smiled and walked away. thoroughly pleased.

tonight may have been stranger small talk for blog appreciation appreciation night. appreciation was meant to be in there exactly that amount of times. get over it.

also, i bought more rum and windsor. so... canadian whiskey night might be on wednesday... tomorrow... well... today. thanks dadx.

i broke my non-beer-drinking streak of two days. but it was for the show of someone absolutely worth it... so it might not count.

sometimes you're just an object to me.

full out amber alerts for my sweatshirt of absolute comfort from a couple posts ago.

maple leaf rag. 2nd grade, fuckers. get over yourself... nah... i love that kid.

i will accept your repayments at any time. make it worth it.

also, you're a story ruiner. just because you read my blog doesn't mean you can't pretend haven't heard it.

just buy my beers until forever because my patience is valuable and gas isn't cheap.

welcome to boredom marathon 2008.

mr. clean magic erasers are black magic. no other way it could be that good. but scrubbing bubbles still reign superior when it comes to shower grime. ew...

i mean... err... my body emits daisies and i have no use for a shower. whatever.

i got my new license plate registration stickers in the mail and was going to take a picture of me posing and maybe flashing gang signs, but then the neighbor let his crotch spawn out to ride bikes in the driveway. what a dick.

productivity and rum consumption are inversely related. i would have argued differently based on the rum as motivation factor. apparently not so.

i almost forgot. i went to jupiter house before an am shift and this girl that i don't know was sass-central. also, it is important to know that i am incapable of thinking about the things i say this early in the morning. again also, it is also important to understand the flow of the conversation. sassy girl's comments are spoken slowly... with sass... and mine are quick, sharp and spoken immediately after her statements. there are pauses after mine before she starts again.

mengtar said:

can i get a medium soy mocha?

sassy girl said:

soy?

mengtar said:

yes.

sassy girl said:

((disgusted sigh)) you know that costs extra, right?

mengtar said:

don't get cocky.

wow... all that lead, i bet you thought it was going to be a great conversation. i'm over it.

FUCK! i was )( THIS close to booking my flight until i realized that i'm going to be on the rag that whole weekend. FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!

i'm waiting for px to text me back and give the a-okay for the dates i gave to fly to LA!! ((holy shit, i'm going to LA!)) so i'm busy raiding everyone's myspace pages and laughing at their losery.



cx pointed out in a picture from a few years ago how my face looked "uhh... rounder..." ha yes... so here is more of me and my former roundness. not that i am unrounded now, just less round.

Being goofy


also, i believe that he could single-handedly take down the dallas ((un-north)) stars... in a fist fight anyway.



i miss my friends' music and awesome shows in minnesota. for some reason, these silly texans haven't figured out that i'm kind of a big deal.



also, who's coming to the next crashsight show with me? no joke, this video kind of sucks... way flat and obnoxiously articulate. but i love watching them. fuck yourself.



i couldn't help but laugh through.... almost all of this. ((i miss it))

skills you should improve on:

pretending to care.

an un-thanks to you, sir.

here is an incomplete list of people who are NOT funny.
homeboy
eric novotney



but he did find my camera. whatever.

that is all.

prepare yourself for a saturday night in the life of being completely awesome.

i have misplaced my camera, but will be live-blogging all of my cooking funness for you this evening to make up for it.

incomplete list of things mengtar is missing:
camera
108 lighters ((to date))
sweatshirt of ultimate comfort as seen in the following photo.
zip-up sweatshirt of mild comfort and ultimate cuteness as seen in the photo following the following photo.




lucky you.

also, kx lied. the passion fruit rum isn't that bad.

tonight's cooking menu: jambalaya.

but i won't be eating it until lunch tomorrow.

so i bought some multi-grain club crackers and pepperjack cheese for my rumandjuice accompaniment.

and i swear, if kx and cx start fucking and i have to listen to them, i'm going to knife them both.

let's cook.

right now you can imagine a photo of me smelling the awesomeness of freshly chopped bell peppers. the appreciation is similar to the way i loved the smell of freshly cut grass before i developed allergies or marched drum corps. also, the background displays some chicken defrosting in the microwave.

the next picture is of them in a bowl that i got for free at an indiana garage sale with the purchase of a t-shirt. the following is a picture of a drunken mengtar in said shirt.



i totally thought i had onions. whatever.

if i was in the movie mind killers ((mind hunters... whatever)) with ll cool j, i would have been killed with pepperjack cheese.

insert photo of my oh-face with a mouth full of pepperjack cheese and crackers while my stove top is full of black smoke because i just burned my chicken... cue smoke alarm.

also, if my roommates were still awake, i would probably include an interaction shot... but as much interaction they would have with me is them taking the picture of me pouring more rum.

smartass starting messaging me and that seemed more important than you fuckers.

also, i would show you a picture of the end result, but the yellow peppers are too visually overbearing so i don't like it. whatever.

if you're lucky, i'll live-blog myself making a bagel in the morning.

mengtar said:

then he ever-so-slowly got out of the car all kinds of confused and said "what the fuck are you doing in addison?"

px said:

That's soooo hot, I can see why u pork him. he's quality.

also, i am now taking applications for attractive females in LA to join the team of none in px's love life.

in other news, everyone is either going to prison or overdosing on drugs. i guess it's time i pick up some habits or commit some felonies so we can still hang out.

i quit.

the feeling of anger when i look at this trainwreck only subsides if i look away and cry. but i'd rather feel angry than weak.

it's been a rough week.

congratulations to sisterx for finishing her first year of medical school! ((yay))



a film to add to your list of silly movies: forbidden kingdom.

wow.

great fighting. bad acting.

it's a story with an immortal, wait, he's actually mortal, but NOW he's immortal alcoholic, and a white kid whom is a prophet that can't act, and a girl with horrible grammar and refers to herself in third person ((she's lucky she was hot)) and a monk... with no personality flaws that i can remember...

another film to add to your list of bad movies you enjoy: mind killers.

starring... ll cool j!

a handful of fbi profilers are put on an island to solve a simulated serial killer case but... then it turns REAL.... REALLY predictable! the serial killer is profiling them and setting traps based on each agents' weaknesses.

at the end, you find out the killer's weakness: bullets. ((a legit ll cool j quote. your welcome))

FINALLY a good movie was put in, the machinist, which i didn't even finish because it was far too late. but christian bale is like 120 lbs. ((ew)) but whatever, i'm sure i'll be able to mock it later.

also, my car smells like cherry limeade too. ((sorry))

over a year ago i bought a pair of pants at target for $6. they didn't fit, but had potential and it was only $6.

every few months i try them on with no luck.

today they fit, and my ass looks pretty nice.

no joke.

out of boredom and discontent, i gave in and fucked this other dude.

i expected to feel a little guilty about it, but was relieved that i only felt mildly disappointed. i'm not sure if it was the person or the situation, but though the sex was good, i just couldn't get into it.

through half of it i was debating whether or not i should just fake it in hopes that he would finish earlier.

the post-coitus cuddling was more to my satisfaction. but after he fell asleep, i drove home to read more vonnegut. i was okay with that.

in other news...

holy balls! i got my stimulus check today, and i qualified for 600! fuck yes! i had been assuming that it would only be 300, but was too unmotivated to find out what the income cut-off was and would have rather just been suprised.

you know what that means??

i might get my tattoo tomorrow. TOMORROW!

wow.

in the meantime, i'm going to continue taking comfort in my vonnegut books and listening to folk music on repeat.

i took a nap after work and because i was still v. hungry. i dreamt of cheese ravioli. i woke up at 9.40. ten minutes too late to order an og employee meal, but not too late to call in a togo order, sacrificing my discount. but could i get there in time before they closed? then, in my i-just-woke-up stupor, started thinking, wait... i already got my cheese ravioli. where did i put it?

i proceeded to get up and search my room for cheese ravioli...

once i realized what i was doing, i decided coffee was my best bet.

i have a lot on my mind.

i just got off work. i smell, i'm hungry, and i'm tired.

i don't like to eat right before sleeping. it's just silly.

if i shower now, i'll have to change my bedsheets before taking a nap, because they smell like smoke and boy and body fluids. by the end of my shower i will be too unmotivated to change them and will be angry the rest of the night that i ruined my cleanness on dirty sheets. also, one of my pens exploded on it.

if i sleep first, i might not want to take a shower later tonight. and depending on my unmade plans, i might not have time to eat before going out to drink.

instead, i'll just watch kx play gta4 and blog about not doing things.

bballa mike played a great show and andy's last night. i got blitzed and may or may not have come home and had sex. hard to say.

but i did join a bicycle gang.

i also danced. bad idea.



i started upstairs for some photo-ops and cozied up to my stretch of railing, but then some stranger wanted to make conversation while my friend was singing and i was only on my first drink. uncomfortable.



i don't remember his name, but he is also in my bicycle gang.




cutest tiniest kickdrum ever. also, was he in scv? 04 maybe?



next week will be this kid's last week closing andy's open mic. apparently he's moving on to bigger and better things. almost as sad as the thought of me being done blogging. ew.



((this is ground control to major tom))



also, the hopeless look in my eyes is because i had just realized that they were out of toilet paper and paper towels.



((le sigh))

i can't help but be completely awesome all the fucking time.

i finally found this little piece of treasure. fiskars. the name we trust. also child ((drunk)) safe.



so i could work on this obsession. ((special note: i do not remove head bands or other accessories during haircuts. that's just silly.))



this is pre-cut but i have a wicked cowlick in the back so it looks dual-lengthed.



i lobbed off about this much.



did i mention i'm bringing sexy back?



i think theres a song about it ((me)). whatever.

also, i could kick her ass at anything but cutting hair... and that's why i don't call you out on it.

besides... she fucked jx too.

ew.