FUCK! i was )( THIS close to booking my flight until i realized that i'm going to be on the rag that whole weekend. FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!

i'm waiting for px to text me back and give the a-okay for the dates i gave to fly to LA!! ((holy shit, i'm going to LA!)) so i'm busy raiding everyone's myspace pages and laughing at their losery.



cx pointed out in a picture from a few years ago how my face looked "uhh... rounder..." ha yes... so here is more of me and my former roundness. not that i am unrounded now, just less round.

Being goofy


also, i believe that he could single-handedly take down the dallas ((un-north)) stars... in a fist fight anyway.



i miss my friends' music and awesome shows in minnesota. for some reason, these silly texans haven't figured out that i'm kind of a big deal.



also, who's coming to the next crashsight show with me? no joke, this video kind of sucks... way flat and obnoxiously articulate. but i love watching them. fuck yourself.



i couldn't help but laugh through.... almost all of this. ((i miss it))

skills you should improve on:

pretending to care.

an un-thanks to you, sir.

here is an incomplete list of people who are NOT funny.
homeboy
eric novotney



but he did find my camera. whatever.

that is all.

prepare yourself for a saturday night in the life of being completely awesome.

i have misplaced my camera, but will be live-blogging all of my cooking funness for you this evening to make up for it.

incomplete list of things mengtar is missing:
camera
108 lighters ((to date))
sweatshirt of ultimate comfort as seen in the following photo.
zip-up sweatshirt of mild comfort and ultimate cuteness as seen in the photo following the following photo.




lucky you.

also, kx lied. the passion fruit rum isn't that bad.

tonight's cooking menu: jambalaya.

but i won't be eating it until lunch tomorrow.

so i bought some multi-grain club crackers and pepperjack cheese for my rumandjuice accompaniment.

and i swear, if kx and cx start fucking and i have to listen to them, i'm going to knife them both.

let's cook.

right now you can imagine a photo of me smelling the awesomeness of freshly chopped bell peppers. the appreciation is similar to the way i loved the smell of freshly cut grass before i developed allergies or marched drum corps. also, the background displays some chicken defrosting in the microwave.

the next picture is of them in a bowl that i got for free at an indiana garage sale with the purchase of a t-shirt. the following is a picture of a drunken mengtar in said shirt.



i totally thought i had onions. whatever.

if i was in the movie mind killers ((mind hunters... whatever)) with ll cool j, i would have been killed with pepperjack cheese.

insert photo of my oh-face with a mouth full of pepperjack cheese and crackers while my stove top is full of black smoke because i just burned my chicken... cue smoke alarm.

also, if my roommates were still awake, i would probably include an interaction shot... but as much interaction they would have with me is them taking the picture of me pouring more rum.

smartass starting messaging me and that seemed more important than you fuckers.

also, i would show you a picture of the end result, but the yellow peppers are too visually overbearing so i don't like it. whatever.

if you're lucky, i'll live-blog myself making a bagel in the morning.

mengtar said:

then he ever-so-slowly got out of the car all kinds of confused and said "what the fuck are you doing in addison?"

px said:

That's soooo hot, I can see why u pork him. he's quality.

also, i am now taking applications for attractive females in LA to join the team of none in px's love life.

in other news, everyone is either going to prison or overdosing on drugs. i guess it's time i pick up some habits or commit some felonies so we can still hang out.

i quit.

the feeling of anger when i look at this trainwreck only subsides if i look away and cry. but i'd rather feel angry than weak.

it's been a rough week.

congratulations to sisterx for finishing her first year of medical school! ((yay))



a film to add to your list of silly movies: forbidden kingdom.

wow.

great fighting. bad acting.

it's a story with an immortal, wait, he's actually mortal, but NOW he's immortal alcoholic, and a white kid whom is a prophet that can't act, and a girl with horrible grammar and refers to herself in third person ((she's lucky she was hot)) and a monk... with no personality flaws that i can remember...

another film to add to your list of bad movies you enjoy: mind killers.

starring... ll cool j!

a handful of fbi profilers are put on an island to solve a simulated serial killer case but... then it turns REAL.... REALLY predictable! the serial killer is profiling them and setting traps based on each agents' weaknesses.

at the end, you find out the killer's weakness: bullets. ((a legit ll cool j quote. your welcome))

FINALLY a good movie was put in, the machinist, which i didn't even finish because it was far too late. but christian bale is like 120 lbs. ((ew)) but whatever, i'm sure i'll be able to mock it later.

also, my car smells like cherry limeade too. ((sorry))

over a year ago i bought a pair of pants at target for $6. they didn't fit, but had potential and it was only $6.

every few months i try them on with no luck.

today they fit, and my ass looks pretty nice.

no joke.

out of boredom and discontent, i gave in and fucked this other dude.

i expected to feel a little guilty about it, but was relieved that i only felt mildly disappointed. i'm not sure if it was the person or the situation, but though the sex was good, i just couldn't get into it.

through half of it i was debating whether or not i should just fake it in hopes that he would finish earlier.

the post-coitus cuddling was more to my satisfaction. but after he fell asleep, i drove home to read more vonnegut. i was okay with that.

in other news...

holy balls! i got my stimulus check today, and i qualified for 600! fuck yes! i had been assuming that it would only be 300, but was too unmotivated to find out what the income cut-off was and would have rather just been suprised.

you know what that means??

i might get my tattoo tomorrow. TOMORROW!

wow.

in the meantime, i'm going to continue taking comfort in my vonnegut books and listening to folk music on repeat.

i took a nap after work and because i was still v. hungry. i dreamt of cheese ravioli. i woke up at 9.40. ten minutes too late to order an og employee meal, but not too late to call in a togo order, sacrificing my discount. but could i get there in time before they closed? then, in my i-just-woke-up stupor, started thinking, wait... i already got my cheese ravioli. where did i put it?

i proceeded to get up and search my room for cheese ravioli...

once i realized what i was doing, i decided coffee was my best bet.

i have a lot on my mind.

i just got off work. i smell, i'm hungry, and i'm tired.

i don't like to eat right before sleeping. it's just silly.

if i shower now, i'll have to change my bedsheets before taking a nap, because they smell like smoke and boy and body fluids. by the end of my shower i will be too unmotivated to change them and will be angry the rest of the night that i ruined my cleanness on dirty sheets. also, one of my pens exploded on it.

if i sleep first, i might not want to take a shower later tonight. and depending on my unmade plans, i might not have time to eat before going out to drink.

instead, i'll just watch kx play gta4 and blog about not doing things.

bballa mike played a great show and andy's last night. i got blitzed and may or may not have come home and had sex. hard to say.

but i did join a bicycle gang.

i also danced. bad idea.



i started upstairs for some photo-ops and cozied up to my stretch of railing, but then some stranger wanted to make conversation while my friend was singing and i was only on my first drink. uncomfortable.



i don't remember his name, but he is also in my bicycle gang.




cutest tiniest kickdrum ever. also, was he in scv? 04 maybe?



next week will be this kid's last week closing andy's open mic. apparently he's moving on to bigger and better things. almost as sad as the thought of me being done blogging. ew.



((this is ground control to major tom))



also, the hopeless look in my eyes is because i had just realized that they were out of toilet paper and paper towels.



((le sigh))

i can't help but be completely awesome all the fucking time.

i finally found this little piece of treasure. fiskars. the name we trust. also child ((drunk)) safe.



so i could work on this obsession. ((special note: i do not remove head bands or other accessories during haircuts. that's just silly.))



this is pre-cut but i have a wicked cowlick in the back so it looks dual-lengthed.



i lobbed off about this much.



did i mention i'm bringing sexy back?



i think theres a song about it ((me)). whatever.

also, i could kick her ass at anything but cutting hair... and that's why i don't call you out on it.

besides... she fucked jx too.

ew.

dear patrons of my local sandwich shop,
just because i park next to your suburban doesn't mean i want to watch you make out with your ugly boyfriend nor do i subsrcribe to your theory that i won't get anyone better than him. been there. fucked that. over it.
also, even though i open my wallet and proudly display my minnesota drivers license and you are behind me in line and from the same state and want to discuss in detail how you're from there or you know someone from the great lakes area doesn't mean you should throw their name out in chance that i know them or that we should exchange numbers and hang out or that you should even bring it up.
i don't care how cute you are.
we are not friends.
i don't like you.
done and done.
love, mengtar.

also, there was this.

flash update!

i just pooped what looked to be a stillborn bunny. did i eat a rabbit or was something molding in my bowels?

ew.

dear pat neshek,
just because you're on the disabled list for probably the rest of the season, doesn't mean that you shouldn't be blogging about it...
love, mengtar

i saw seven road kills between the og, the bank, and my house. i couldn't recognize a single one, because they were far too mutilated. gross. i better not find boar intestines in my wheel well tomorrow. it is also possible that they were all my attic creatures, because i have been home for twenty minutes and haven't heard them tromping around my ceiling. i will keep you updated.

as expected as ever, everyone in the world eats at the og on mother's day. i'm glad i was in a descent mood because my run this morning was okay. i couldn't find my watch, so i don't know what my run-time was. get over it.

but i did get to visit with homeboy's hipster friend that homeboy insists is completely un-hipster. his name is matthew or patrick or nathan. when i figure it out, he might become an initial. but probably never photographed, that might just be awkward. but he always at least seems excited to see me and every time i freak out because we don't really know eachother so i really wouldn't have anything to say, but then i remember that he's a better talker than i am and will always at least pretend that my jokes are funny. how nice.

i was wanting to grab a couple beers tonight, but no one seems to want to go out unless it's with people i don't want to listen to. i'd rather just drink my drink and play pool or darts and not really talk to anyone or listen to anyone talk to me.

videogames and beer it is.

happy momx day! i love you!







((can't wait to have you back in texas!))

with nick punto ticketed for the disabled list, this better not be a repeat of 2002 for the twins, where we sucked because all of our starting players were on the disabled list. i might cry.

on my way home from work, i ran over a massive tumbleweed. legit tumbleweed. they have that in texas.

today's run kicked my ass. i didn't run yesterday. the day before that i only went 1.5miles. i didn't run the day before that. and i MAY have ran the day before...

good grief.

i had to walk the majority of bonnie brae and half of windsor. i was pissed. special note: drink less. smoke less. run more. suck less. that is all.

boros is back in texas! you know what that means? flying saucer. stay tuned. you might be invited.

i would drink until i am haircut-ready, but my room is cold, so i find haircuts unnecessary. next time.

i heard from a less-than-reliable source that the air conditioning went out at work. it was definitely hot. i just don't care enough to ask questions. and since it was right after my run, my pores were more than ready to just keep dripping.

but they did give us popsicles. i was okay with that.

i had some eggplant parmigiana with fettucine alfredo at work and i might puke and shit myself at the same time.

oh my god! snowflake is climbing and croaking at the same time, and i want to die of cuteness!

yep. also, when you throw up lettuce, it turns black. who'd have thought?

insomnia 2, mengtar 0.

occasionally, in the wee hours of the am when everyone in the house is in a deep sleep, i throw down on some assassins creed. i don't like people watching my play videogames. i'm not sure if it's because i'm afraid they'll be condescending because i'm not good enough, or just because i waste my time playing videogames. regardless, i'm sure i'd be unable to offer a quality rebuttle while rescuing the citizens of acre.

ix and i are getting tatted and pierced next week. i'm pretty beyond excited.



after i arrived at work this morning, denton became allergycentral5000. i started scratching my eyeballs out and made homeboy bring me my glasses. outgrown cute haircut, unbathed and unwashed face, no makeup ((per usual)), and i had to wear my glasses. all kinds of unattractive.

also, my glasses make me angry. the stronger prescription gives me a headache and has a jekyll-hyde effect as i morph into angry-mengtar. i accept it and expect everyone else to just deal.

every time i change snowflake and wellington also's water dish, wellington also runs a red-light escape drill. he has yet to jump. maybe he just likes the view.




i started slacking on my running and smoking cutback, so hopefully tomorrow i can kick my ass with a 3-mile and some gym-time with bballamike.

maybe i should just start drinking and cut my hair tonight. i'd feel more productive about my insomnia.

or i could hydrate for tomorrow's workout... nope.



i can't find my scissors. haircuts will just have to wait.

it's a sad day in baseball land, kiddies.

my almost favorite closing pitcher, pat neshek, is out for a minimum of three months with an acute tear in his ulnar collateral ligament. if surgery is required, he'll be out for the season.

balls to that, sirs.