that moment when you realize that you've made a huge mistake. you bang your head against the wall, and your stomach crawls into your throat. then your eyes unfocus and begin to tear while you realize the encompassing repercussions of your mischance and misfortunes.

i found a roommate on craigslist.

words cannot fully express his idiocy or my frustration.

our house has shuffled through aromas of dirty diapers, bad cologne, and teriyaki sauce.

he stumbled home from a party at 3am to knock on my door and ask if i wanted to meet his brother then proceeded to cyclone around the house with smacks and crashes and distribute all of the lumber in the garage around my back yard.

also, my back yard now has a flattop.

yes.



he mowed a flattop into my back yard. my back yard is an early '90s black man's haircut.




how does one enter recovery mode after something like this?