what a productive day:

didn't puke during my exam
took a recovery nap
made 24 paper cranes
washed my sheets
showered
late-night home-cooked meal with k-hox
made another paper crane
hung up the scissors

look out, world!

((i think my foot is swollen))

fuck. there are a couple coffeehome assholes annoying me with groundbreaking save the world business. try seed patents, you fucking hippie. that's where it starts.



on my way to the bar last night, i almost hit a dog. but it's okay, because someone else already did.




meet princess mingo post bath-and-a-haircut.



lx says she's a schnauzer. i nodded.



after removing the rope from around her neck and all of her knots and mattes and facial blood from her hair.... she looks much more charming.

she can sit and shake. neither barks nor minds baths and grooming.



any takers?



((despite this photo, i promise, she's not ACTUALLY a ghost-dog))

i have been avoiding dates with theoriginalax for quite some time now. i typically run into him at a bar once a week, we schedule for friday night, and then i quickly make plans with someone else.

tonight is no different.

i have been called on official duty to mAx's to help finish the keg from his party. i dont have a choice but to accept the honor of being able to compete in these drinking game olympics.

i'm sorry, theoriginalax, duty called. it's out of my hands.

so i just left the union building. i was there to print a paper. i had forgotten my flash drive at home, so i just emailed it myself and figured i could quickly reformat it before printing.

worst.reformat.ofmylife.

at home, i still use windows 97 or something. i still exit to dos. and i still have to write a code every time i open a program.

also, it may be important to know that you are not allowed much time on these computers. you are allowed to upload, review, and print.

so... hypothetically... if the print store only uses microsoft turbo office from 2046, coincidentally the same year as the invention of the radiation vaccine, and it takes me 15 minutes to figure out how to double-space... i may or may not have drawn some attention...

update: i was scolded.

this is the mayor of waffle house. i am his public relations representative. any questions you may have regarding his political platforms can be directed to me.



i was sent home from work by jx for having a small stain on the shoulder of my shirt. i was told to go to wal-mart to buy a new shirt. instead i drove home, splashed some bleach on it, had a beer, checked the mail, took a poop, and returned.

jx, don't even think that the mayor isn't going to find out about this.

with only 8 minutes of hot water in my shower, i haven't shaved... a thing... in the two months i've lived in this apartment... i tried yesterday. after the necessary washings, i was left with enough hot water to shave one leg with an old razor. it's really pretty difficult to tell the difference.



thanks to k-hox, we are no longer allowed to play darts at hooligans. and thanks to me, we are no longer allowed in most other bars for fear of running into boys i'd rather not see but will undoubtedly insist on conversation. we're going out again tonight. great.

Actual questions and answers for my Texas State Government homework:

3. Find the list of items prohibited from air travel in the domestic United States. Select five of your favorites and list them here:

Meat Cleavers
Swords
Cricket Bats
Spear Guns
Ice Axes

4. Take two of these items and attempt to explain the logic behind banning them. It might prove useful to compare and contrast two different banned or approved items, or rely upon the explanations regarding liquid bans in your answer.

Meat cleavers are banned from airplanes, as opposed to nail clippers, because they could be used for bloody massacres much more easily than their miniature counterparts. Cricket bats are banned from airplanes, because nobody plays that game in the domestic United States. Anyone carrying said bat would obviously be using it as a blunt instrument of violence.

((welcome to college))