tonight's soccer game fall-count: 3

i'm improving!

i was pretty proud and excited to have the cleanest shower in denton... until i fell on my ass upon stepping inside.



special thanks to drano max gel, scrubbing bubbles, and ibuprofen.

under no circumstances is it acceptable to drunken stumble downstairs for a glass of water wearing only my lambskin rug as a loincloth.



i made it to jupiter house two minutes too late for a soy chai tea latte... but just in time for free drip coffee!



there was a crazy on the street that clapped his hands and pointed at me. he shouted, "i can tell you'll have a fun night by the shape of your hair." i'm glad it's a good hair day. good thing i didn't shower.

countdown to mengtar getting a REAL camera so you don't have to look at her shitty webcam photos... EIGHT DAYS

((it's snowing))

i don't like math. and i don't like numbers.

and two objects should not travel in opposing directions at different speeds for thirty minutes reaching a distance of twohundredseventyfive miles between said objects.

i propose we all go the same distance and direction at the same time and rate...

but never faster than conditions allow.

also, i'm a shitty friend.


khox said:

are you still coming over?

mengtar said:

nah, i'm already home. i forgot i still had so much schoolwork left.

khox said:

but i made you a scavenger hunt!

mengtar said:

a what?

khox said:

a scavenger hunt to the beer!

mengtar said:

i'll be over right away!

khox said:

no! you already ruined it for me!



((this is guilt))

also, an incomplete list of things i will buy with my ten thousand dollars courtesy of the irs...

camera

drano

qtips

homebound plane tickets

las angeles plane tickets

canvases

liquor

fruit baskets ((to be mailed to myself))

phone

pet rat

oil change ((edit: i still have a free oil change courtesy of ford))

2 h&m outfits ((for photographing))

soccer ball

boots

ten banana cream pies




((miss me? you've been fed))

my new composition professor is roughly ninety years old. i doubt she reads my blog.

she told us that this course will teach us the crucial critical thinking skills to make good decisions as we journey through the path of life ((clicheeeeeee))

does that mean i can't do coke off my kitchen counter top anymore?

mengtar said:

hey, how're ya'll doing?

tablex said:

two iced teas

mengtar said:

well that's good. my name is mengtar and i'll be taking excellent care of you today. can i start you off with anything to drink?

tablex said:

what?

mengtar said:

i'm doing well too. ((exit stage right))


they complained to the manager...

sometimes at work, i'll walk around the restaurant looking for people i know... so i can not talk to them.

don't freak out. the irs will be paying me ten thousand dollars on february sixth. ten thousand. don't freak out.

tomorrow will be spent cleaning on account of the discovery of a cricket refugee camp under my sweater. find peace in your shelter tonight, boys, tomorrow is your day of reckoning.

i woke up with a sweaty back from an intense dream about losing a foot-tall fuzzy elephant that spoke eloquent old english... ten minutes before class.

i opted for skipping class to shower... but ended up growing more sick at work.

looking for a chest decongestant? a cough suppressant? need to lower your blood pressure? well you're in luck! coricidin hbp can do all of these things!

looking for a chest decongestant? a cough suppressant? and NOT lower your blood pressure? don't shop at albertsen's, because that's all they've got.

i have a cough that sounds like a bear is living in my chest.

speaking of bears,

newkidatog ((of boiler room bodyslamming fame)) has a new music project... yay! and is looking for metal singer! check out the homeses and spread the word. v talented!

also, i might be moving to maui.

i would have given you all the super secret recipe of my momx's mac-n-cheese-n-hotdogs, but kx is being a beeeeotch!

he waltzed in after student teaching and asked what we were making him for dinner.

nothing, obvs.

but then he noticed that i was sharing my food with cx...

but he doesn't share his cookies OR his made-from-scratch pizzas with me out of his fancy new everything-made-from-scratch pizza cookbook... BURN! no mac-n-cheese-n-hotdogs for you. NONE. UH!

two hours ago i realized that my saturday public speaking class starts tomorrow... so i started drinking earlier. smart move.

finish off this shiraz before eleven and i will be jetset for my 9am!

i'm so ashamed. today i lied to dadx. right after he paid for this semesters tuition. ((thanks, dadx)) but when he asked me what i wanted to do when i grew up... i gave him the mundane. you know, the truth. the shitty job i'll have and hate for the majority of my pathetic little life...

when what i really want to do...

is be JACK BAUER!



i mean, today he found out that the antagonist-o-the-day is his old partner from CTU!

wait... there's more...



his old partner was actually shot and killed just prior to jack being kidnapped and held for 8 years in a chinese prison!



and now he has kidnapped a computer genius to hack into the government computer system ((apparently the right contraption built by ONE mega-computer-genuis in about twenty minutes can actually serve as a masterkey to the entire US government and all of its agencies))to crash planes and contaminate water supplies!



why, tony almeida? why??!!



also, has anyone else noticed how he's slowly turning more and more into macgyver? you know, without the anti-guns and violence? he made his own silencer to shoot out a security camera!



also, he totally near-point-blank snipered a court-guard in a time to kill. fucking klansmen. oh, kiefer, what CAN'T you do?!