defying physics, i find myself much less attractive the more i drink.

but tonight was of great irony.

i went to rubber gloves for art fusion night with a dude i met at andys last night. turns out he's waay more interesting after... wait... no... he's just uninteresting.

tonight's art medium was nude body painting. and who would be modeling but my bff!!!

she approached me while i was talking about something of minimal interest with lamedudefromandys and told me that she was one of the models for art fusion night and immediately added that she thought she was preggers5000. don't caere.

rx and tx are regulars at rubber gloves, and tx is one of the regular artists.

tx mostly painted anatomical inside-out-man-stylee. prior to hearing the preggers story, she drew a fetus on ariel's stomach. AWKWARD! i jetted shortly after. i'm sure she totally thinks i squealed, but that's someting only blog-gossip and homeboy-telling worthy.

whatevs.

jx showed up with my favorite italian and we will see batman via imax tomorrow because i was officially fucked out of 311 and snoop.

ya'll can fuck yourselves.

the twins are closing in at a half game behind the chisox.

and you love me more than i can imagine, so i wait until you sleep and i step into traffic.

4 days til 311 and snoop!!!

i dreamt that i bic'd my head. it was pretty hot. and it made me a half pound lighter. high five.

but in real life, i lost all of the party-weight from the momx visit. in another 8.4 pounds, i'm going to eat ice cream for a week straight. having a lactose intolerance, that might even work in my favor.



with those pythons, cx can single-handedly save the tatas.

also, i still need a mildly-classy event to wear my oh-so-cute yellow dress.

broadcasting live from my new chair that really ties the room together.

i think i should spend the rest of my night sitting on my chair upside-down and practicing backward somersaulting off of it. you know, for special guest or featured artist entrances.



i'm actually slightly disappointed that i the places i went tonight were places i guess i could have gone earlier. i went to boiler room to catch some hip-hop. i felt bad for talking it up to homeboy, but it sucked when he got there so he left, but then the people that were on stage earlier and were good went back up again and were alright and then sucked again when we left. thursday night! bi-polar hip-hop night! whatever.



in between i went to hailey's for barf-night, err 80's night... whatever. it's ultra-upsetting since the only other times i've been there were for fucking great shows. whatever.





at least haters can't say shit because they were all there and probably danced. gross.

the piano movers are coming and i'm getting a chair and i just saw batman and px from LA is in dallas!

((breathe))

UPDATE!

oh my god i have a driver's license!



i think i'm hyperventilating.

i think i have worms because my poop has been different lately.

but i'm not getting skinny so i guess that doesn't really count.

special note: getting caught rapping to your ipod while making schedules in the office is detrimental to at-work cool kid status.

too much drinking went on in the past week for me to remember most things... but some of the photographs reminded me...



jupiter house is no longer open 24hrs. what. the. fuck. what am i supposed to be antisocial at HOME?!?



my frogs were cute with me one night. they make me so happy. wait... where did snowflake go??



okay, back to cute.



momx visited for five days of drunken amazing times.



we played pool at the boiler room and i apparently introduced momx to everyone and didn't learn about it until last night when everyone asked where she was and said she was awesome. she is awesome.




while we were playing pool i remember some weird lawyer talking to us, and i wasn't sure if he was hitting on me or my mom but then his friend was like "hey, man, have you called your wife back yet?" and we laughed at him.



we shopped and i bought TWO dresses and we tried to find accessories even but we couldn't so i bought a hat instead.




((hey, sx, remember these???))



ALL junk stores should have junk jewelry for junk prices.



i got caught looking at myself when someone pointed out the sign that says "only you can stop narcissism."






this dress is totally julia roberts in pretty woman when the guy that plays george kostanza totally calls her out for being a hooker at the polo game or horse races or whatever. i didn't buy it.




this dress is the happiest dress in the world. but weird because my boobs are too big. my gut fits into it just fine, but i have to push my boobs in to zip the back. i totally bought it.



momx did not buy that dress. ((le sigh of relief))




awww



this building is in austin i think and there is one like it in minneapolis and i think mary tyler moore was filmed there or something i heard once... we call it "ghetto in the sky". if they released a videogame that took place inside ghetto in the sky, i would totally play it.






dci san antonio regional.

go blue team!

i'll rant about that later.



also, we drank and painted.

also, tc bear is now the 2-year mascot home run derby champion!!!




go tc!!

also, the cavaliers are now a tenth above blue devils and madison is edging top twelve.

FUCK!

go stars!

also, way to go american league! it only took 15 innings to win, but for the first time ever, the american league will be taking homefield advantage in the world series for the TWELFTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR!!!!

also, justin morneau won the homerun derby. go 33!

but seriously, i want my license back.

also, momx flies to texas tomorrow.

dinner party thursday.

bbq stylee.

and then there was one...

i was just denied service at andys, one of the last two bars that i could still drink in without an id.

boiler room, don't fail me now!

also, fuck the minnesota dmv.

and fuck omar reyes.

facebook wall-to-wall:

jxnumbereighty-five said:

does ur phone work? and if so know that ignoring black people will only end with a ridiculous grudge being held against you.....

mengtar said:

my phone works fine. just because i didn't want to go to crazy mary's birthday party with you doesn't mean i'm ignoring you. you could call or text me just as easily. what are you doing later this week?



phonecall at 10am:

crazy mary said:

mengtar, i don't like what you wrote on my BOYFRIEND'S facebook page and i just don't understand why you would say that about me and i'm asking you nicely to take it down this instant!

mengtar said:

did you steal my car?

crazy mary said:

what?

mengtar said:

don't call me ever again.



UPDATE:

later tonight...

jxnumbereighty-five said:

i'm not her boyfriend. i'm crashing with you tonight.

mengtar said:

are you sleeping on the other side of homeboy?

jxnumbereighty-five said:

you're STILL fucking him?!?

mengtar said:

you still don't put out.

dadx said:

saturday night... popcorn, fudge and watching heart and souls movie... wish you were here.

mengtar said:

i had a shiner black beer at movie tavern and watched the new hellboy2 movie. i wish i was there too.

dadx said:

i'd rather watch hellboy and have a black.



i take my hydration very seriously.



my afternoon of greatness and drinking and watching the twins game at the bar and more drinking and then watching hellboy2 and still drinking came to an end right about there.

there was a 180 mood change once i got to jupiter. i'm pretty sure i'm premensing. look out, kids, i am bad attitude central.

i mean, i wasn't completely unprovoked.



ugly kid in a pantera shirt wouldn't leave me alone. i'm wearing headphones and reading a book. do i really look like i'm welcoming a conversation?

luckily homeboy texted me to meet up again at coolbeans because there was some kicking music. too bad i STILL don't have my id and STILL can't get into certain bars certain nights of the week.

fuck texas.

and fuck the minnesota dmv.

i went home to play some splinter cell. ((tom clancy video games: mengtar's guilty pleasure)) but the fucking new roommates are playing ironman, which is lamecity. not even tom clancy lame, because, like the rainbow six games, it is at least fun in the "i just want to kill some bitches" sort of way, but it has reached a very true and genuine level of lame that can only be matched by sporty velcro sandals and muzak.

at least i had the time to hold up the bathroom once i got home to take an explosive dump from my movie tavern cheese pizza. ((special note: mengtar loves cheese... also, mengtar has a lactose intolerance... also, mengtar doesn't care, it's totally worth it))

about a minute later, bballamike called to tell me that the dude playing at the garage "is soo amazing" and that i "haaave to be heere!!!!" i played off the whole "awww... that's too bad, i totally would go if i had an id" but really i was just screaming in my head because i'm sick the bullshit. i hung up the phone and threw it at the wall.

then i pooped some more.

savemengtar: ipod owner...





((again...))

i'm supposed to go forever away with rx and tx tomorrow to a flea market. ((i hope it's like the little falls craft fair in minnesota))

but it turns out i have to take my car in first. fucking lights. fucking already. fucking ford.



((also, blue stars are in tenth place. i hope they can maintain their momentum into the san antonio show next week... proud of you kids. FCO!))

UPDATE: also, carolina crown. first in drums and second overall?!? where the fuck did they come from?!?!?

with best friend in jail and rx leaving the og, it's becoming more difficult to work there.




((yep, all clear))




are those birthday titties i see?? why, yes! as a matter of fact they are!



if anyone knows of a kickin position opening somewhere, let me know.





openings in LA and chitown will also be considered.