in honor of working double-shifts the past three days, i decided to celebrate by getting schwasted each night and barely sleeping.

it was for the best.

made it out to rubber gloves for the first time ever, and it was pretty alright. perfectly dive and IN denton. ((anyplace that regularly serves dollar peebers ((also referred to as pbr's or pabst blue ribbons, for you southern-folk)) is officially an a-okay dive in the book of mengtar)) met up with rx and tx and their friend from austin. the last wednesday of every month is apparently art night. five people draw on canvases for five minutes then rotate to the right to add to the next persons' drawing. pretty kickass.





also, i think this guy also did the illustrations for the music video of aha's take on me.



also, tx is amazing and i would offer to braid her hair, but it was already done.



i talked to a lot of strangers that bought me a lot of shots and i was a lot of okay with it and will never remember any of them and they will approach me in public in the near future like in the produce aisle of my grocery store where i will be forced to pretend that i enjoyed it.




also, rx'saustinfriendx worked on special effects in the new incredible hulk videogame.

mengtar said:

isn't almost EVERYTHING in videogames special effects? what was your actual contribution?

rx'saustinfriendx said:

i added blood and explosions.

mengtar said:

he demands things to be awesome.



((sorry, ladies, he's taken))



post-rubber gloves awesomeness, tx drove my car back to my house as i was ((un))deniably drunklor for post-bar drinking.





windsor + cream soda = mengtar never leaving the house.




i don't remember much else happening after that other than rx reappearing from the backyard to see his girlfriend and i displaying our titties. un-suprising un-awkward.



((special note: titties were further explosed than photographed))

no. this is NOT batman.



last night was a different night of sorts.

i was again accompanied by rx, tx, and rx'saustinfriendx to throw bones and watch the golden compass.

fuck you, i love nicole kidman.

if the golden compass had been filmed with our drunken commentary, it would have been award-winning. but it did feature a polar bear with a whiskey dependency...

holy shit! my attic creature IS MY GOLDEN COMPASS DEMON!

does chris weitz read my blog? ((don't you dare comment on how he was only the director and didn't write the book or the script just fucking get over yourself))

((groundbreaking))



as much as i still want it, i'm no longer allowed to get this tattoo because apparently every hipster in the world already has it and i don't hang out with hipsters. go back to art6 and work on your cause.



also, i would like to offer a public apology to rx for crossing the line of homester-status. i'm glad you were cool with it, but it's not something you'd have to worry about in the future. the chain is on it.

this is not my butt.



this is my summer:

((also, i set my webcam to take pictures of my reactions every minute and a half... lucky you))




i missed morneau's homerun in the 10th due to my 45 second ass-explosion. it was pretty intense. 9-8 top of the 10th.

i'm sure you care.



((and you're welcome))



in other news i have neglected to share, best friend got married. however, he's unable to drink anymore at all ever and doesn't really hang out anymore. boo hiss. but go best friend!



joe nathan just replaced jesse crain. joe nathan is our number one relief pitcher, and also number one in relief pitcher hotness. number two in overall hotness, second only to the gorgeously incredible joe mauer.



we're gonna win twins,
we're gonna score!
we're gonna win twins,
watch that baseball soar!
knock out a homerun,
shout a hip-hooray!
cheer for the minnesota twins today!



((9-8 f/10))

i'm watching the twins make a comeback in the 9th. it's 3-8... good luck, kids.

there is a photographer that frequents jupiter house named kortz or cuartz or quartz or quarterhouse. he told me a while back that he wanted to photograph me and such. blah blah exciting whatever. but then a few weeks ago, homeboy told me that he kind of has a thing for fat chics.

great... thanks.

tied it up in the 9th!!! 8-8... if kc doesn't score, it will be the twins winning in extra innings per uje.

but now i struggle not to scowl at him when he tells me i look nice.

funny, but most certainly does not rock.

our second most attractive relief pitcher jesse crain has been called in to save the day! ((i like that our closing pitchers' skill levels vary directly with their level of attractiveness))

also, i discovered that i have also misplaced my house key... after i had locked myself out of the house.

rollin it out true bballa style.

8-8! EXTRA INNINGS!!! top of the tenth and i have to poop...

stay tuned...

i think everyone is too busy pouting that i stopped putting up partially-clothed photos to be reading my blog anymore.

i'm over it.

last night i wanted to go dive bar hopping in lake dallas. they have two or three bars but one was closed and i couldn't find the other one so homeboy and i just went to barflies. it was about as exciting as a dive bar can be.

there were a dozen overweight girls and one almost pretty one if she didn't have such shitty hair and clothes and their cowboy boyfriends that are probably actually schoolbus drivers or subway sandwich artists taking up the whole length of the bar when i arrived and they gave me that "you're not from here" stinkeye when i arrived.

i was okay with that because i was planning on speaking to the bartender only.

i was trying to out-mysterious this guy the whole time i was there by myself before homeboy showed up. he turned around to look at me once, so i think i won.



mengtar said:

i want to go to a rodeo.

homeboy said:

like shoedogging? or bullriding?

mengtar said:

i don't think i can talk to you for a minute.



the drinks were crazy strong and i was slightly drunklor after a couple double seven-sevens. we left for homeboys and i ((in all my grace and glory and predictability)) got pulled over... again... for having a headlight and a taillight out... again...

mengtar is BROKELOR!!!!!

i called ralph at royal tire: minnesota's largest commercial tire dealer today. he was little help in assuring me that my warranty was up by about 25k miles, but had the BEST minnesota accent. i can't believe i actually sound like that.

after i decided that having to buy new tires was a definite possibility, i pouted in my living room and rolled all around the house on my tire. it was pretty fun. i should get an extra one.



jeff at discount tire was MUCH more helpful.

jeff said:

hi, how are you doing? what can we do for you?

mengtar said:

((oh shit, a stranger is talking to me and i almost just fell on my ass because flip-flops have zero traction on this floor if it is even mildly damp or even humid and it has been raining all morning, QUICK, think of something to say)) i have a nail in my tire!

jeff said:

heh, alright. which tire is it?

mengtar said:

the one in the trunk. ((as if i would still be driving on it? i don't know))



i wasn't sure if i should just have the tire fixed or if i should just replace that tire or if i should i replace all of the tires. jeff and i took a look at the car and concluded that i should replace all of my tires since none of them even had enough tread to pass texas vehicle inspections. fucking state trying to take responsibility for our environment and vehicle safety. whatever.

he explained a couple of their products to me and i asked about one of their mid-priced tires...



jeff said:

that tire is actually out of stock.

mengtar said:

well how long would it take to order it?

jeff said:

((le sigh)) about three business days...

mengtar said:

well that's a good deal. let's do that.

jeff said:

((sigh del grande)) i tell you what... i'll give you these $90 tires for the price of the out of stock $65 tires and you can keep the 60k miles warranty.

mengtar said:

SOLD!

to get a good deal on tires, apparently you just need to request their out of stock items and be from the same state as your tire dealer.

also, jeff was from duluth.

this is my ass at 160. i had a whole spinach pizza and chocolate and peanut butter and caramel bar thing in celebration.



dear harrison ford,
you're not bruce willis.
love, mengtar



also, i went to five auto-parts stores to find 2 things to fix my headlight and taillight. i hate auto-parts store workers except the old guy at the mazda dealership because he told a bunch of people on the phone that i was pretty. i'm okay with that.

this month in the denton connection ((a legit denton newsletter)):

for father's day, they featured this dude on the cover...



and i freaked out because i thought it was this dude who i was photographed with back in july.



then i realized that policing and fire removal are in two different departments.

but this was there too.



legit.

i'm not allowed to leave my house until i finish cleaning my room ((yes, it's that bad)). but i find myself playing on my laptop and pouting because i STILL haven't found my sweatshirt of ultimate comfort that i got in chicago more than actually cleaning...

but this is what i DID find:
momx's creamed salmon recipe
two dead crickets
dirty panties
four half-finished crossword puzzles
twenty-two og beverage coasters

i want some pop.

but i don't have to be overly-productive. it will be yet another night of insomnia.

if i'm lucky and stop blogging, the bars will still be open by the time i'm done cleaning my room, and i'm feeling forward enough to talk to strangers enough to let them buy me drinks.

and on that fateful saturday night, the three homebodies of 2307 brooklake street agreed to take a silent oath to never speak of the deeds done...

for 6 months...

((stay tuned))








also, snowflake is not taking his diet seriously.

oh my gatos! it's the 07-08 twins bullpen backpack! ((always carried from the outfield to the bullpen by the rookiest relief pitcher at every game)) and it's signed by all of the bullpen members.



i NEED this!!!!!!!!!!

and the money is going to CHARITY because pat neshek is the most precious guy ever and i just want to take him to lunch with my grandma.

it's practically a tax write-off!

listen, kids... if you REALLY loved me... go here.

kx has left for a summer on tour with the madison scouts. ((but i secretly have money on him coming home in a month on injury))

i played dress-up today in bkx's zoot-suit and fedora. it was basically amazing... ignore the mess... everywhere.






so last night in all of it's glory started out with me gimping out to boiler room to catch the hickory street hellraisers. i was immediately called out by this older guy who has seen me before. "you're the baseball girl!" ((as a matter of fact, i AM the baseball girl)) he's foreign ((don't know from where)) and is kind of cool to talk to. but then he got over-complimenting and asked me for my number and i gave him a fake ((obvs)) and i'm glad he didn't try to call me right away or i would have had to bolt to the ladies' room and call homeboy to make sure he wasn't stalking me from outside the bathroom door.

but i remember last time i was happy to talk to him because i was drunk and he gave me a legit compliment: my outfit was classy. it was.



this pose was supposed to be me selling bootleg rolexes on the street... brooklake street... but instead it turned out to be creepy stripper. hat angles and the intsensity of the part in your hair mean everything.



if only i had a bigger collar to pop. le sigh.



featuring the latest design in pimp-wear... wrap-around pants! so the legs remain baggy and your pants stay up so you can keep your cane in one hand and your bitches throat in the other.



this was supposed to be my badass pose, but ended up looking like an attempted sexy pose. special note: i don't have a sexy pose.



i ((don't)) like to think that the type of people who approach me in public are the same type of people who read my blog.

the type of people who read my blog are...
unattractive older men that are not rich
drug addicts that will overdose soon
obnoxiously artsy college students whose art i don't like
attractive similar-aged college students who have a major red-flag malfunction like 2 kids or axe murderer or foot fetishes

on my way home i got a flat tire. beautiful. and my trip to LA was just in reach! now i need tires. ((fuck my life))



this is the face of everything awesome, and that is all you ever need to know.



i have a million things to do tomorrow, but instead i think i'll go teach drum corps.