tonight i am opting for sitting at home and paying bills and making lists of all the productive things i should do tomorrow rather than watching my friends play at andy's for open mic night and drink and smoke.

sorry, kids, but i am more than happy about this decision. it actually might be a while before i'm out at the bars again. ((or tomorrow. i have yet to decide which))



also, happy day two of not smoking. so far, i'm still okay with it.

i showered for the first time since saturday. i thought today was wednesday. i think i could have lasted another day... as long as i didn't touch my hair... next time.

it's also a good thing i didn't go out tonight because it turns i don't have as much money as i thought i did, and i owe a lot more than i thought i did. happens every month. still a surprise.



i have an additional million things to blog about, but have already lost interest knowing that i have no pictures for you... wait... there is this...

dear bx,

i will email you tomorrow to finalize plans to watch eachother poop. oh how i long to watch you poop.

love and poop,
mengtar

in other news:

game two of the twins-rangers series was a HUGE success! twins took it 12-6 with many exciting plays AND what happened to be the best firework show i have ever seen. good call, rangers!






in attendance were best friend, his girlfriend mx, rx, and his girlfriend tx. if mAx was there, we would have had all of the last-cup all-stars. oh well.

we all crammed into best friend's car and giggled the entire way to arlington about cocks and balls and boobies especially. also, i have a cup holder in my shirt. how convenient.



i have a larger planum temporale than the average person. you heard it here first. ((unless you're sx, because then you heard it in neuro first.))




we couldn't find general parking so best friend pulled up to the season-ticket holders lot and it went like this:

best friend said:

hey, can we park here?

guy on passenger side said:

sure.

guy on drivers side said:

do you have your card?

best friend said:

no, but that guy said we could park here.

guy on drivers side said:

oh, okay.

and THAT, readers, is how you scam the rangers out of their bullshit $12 parking fees.



we chugged beers and weiners in the parking lot SUPER close to the stadium. also, we're VIP bballas.






we forgot that putting a grill full of hot charcoal in the car was a bad idea, so we just left it under the car and crossed our fingers that no one would steal it. apparently rx was not very attached to his grill. i was okay with that.






LUCKILY, we returned to the car with the grill just where we left it. we dumped the coals onto the parking lot and when little kids walked by, we would yell "don't step in the horse poop" and the kids would cover their noses. ew, poop.

in case you were wondering what the cutest baby in the world would wear to a baseball game, it would be this:




yesterday was my legit birthday. i'm officially 23. gross. and let me tell you... i woke up with a bad attitude. i'm calculating that i am tminus4days until crotch explosion central so i was slightly touchy and angry and homesick and sexually frustrated and homeboy was slightly too dry and stubborn and himself and i did not attend the baseball game. instead i watched it at hooligans over a couple cheap whiskey cokes with free parking.... en espanol. apparently they don't broadcast rangers games on my27 in english. whatever.




i went running pre-bar and learned that practicing my jumps in the second half of my run is a bad idea... landing is difficult... and falling on your face in front of the lady checking her mail is not something i can do with confidence. who'd have thought?

rx can do some maaaad cartwheels.

kx just bought an iPhone. his first ringtone: john philip sousa's stars and stripes forever.

welcome to loserville, population 2.

twins fell to the rangers in the tenth. let's not repeat that. balls.



there were cardinals fans behind us... ((psst... wrong league!)) also, someone should tell me the next time my ENTIRE chest is exposed... thanks...






but morneau had a grand slam in the third. ((balls exciting)) but the rangers countered with 5 runs in the bottom. jerks.

i was overly beligerent throughout, which made it slightly awkward when we lost. don't do that to me!



kx and i were both red dots... WE WON!



and i was NOT happy about having to wear my rally cap...




rally cap nation!



it was good to see neshek closing, but i was upset to see gomez ((my future husband)) taken off the field by gardenhire with a strained hamstring. i hope he'll still be in the rest of the weekend.

kx and cx were much happier about the results of the game than i was...



i got back to denton in time to see the sugar free all-stars at the boiler room. but no best friend. disappointment5000.

i haven't eaten cereal in months.

my room smells like froot loops.

that is all.

crazy mary was fired! thank. god.

i saw four toads squished on the pavement on my run this morning.

also, everyone should stop mowing their yards. i am allergic5000.

bedhead + sweaty running hair = this wonderful mess...




texas gets june bugs in april... not even fair.



this photographer guy ((not pictured)) that i talk to at jupiter all the time wants to shoot me sometime soon... i'm not sure how awkward i feel about that yet... cue induce vomiting...

things you can buy mengtar for her birthday on sunday:

fruit baskets
frogs plucking banjos
ballpark beers and hotdogs
lightbulbs
soup ingredients
tattoo funds
shitty art and bed/bath decor
to get fat and live above a laundromat in laundrytown

according to thomas nagel, homeboy's brain tastes like chocolate.

between kx and the dogs, i didn't have enough pms patience to stay at home and put up with it.

pre-lost i went to subway. there was a guy three people behind me that was cute and familiar. we both did the awkward stare but avoid eye contact thing. i figured it when i got in my car that he was one of jxkx's friends. a friend was giving me a hard time for not going back and talking to him. i'd rather not relive that, thanks.

lost was alright, but the mystery was lacking. ben's daughter died. nothing made me happier than when her boyfriend carl was shot. what a whiner.

today has been painful and awkward all around.

my doctor told me that because my liver and kidneys are still recuperating that after i drink, i should take some sort of diuretic and drink a LOT of water. it will help flush everything out without making it so hard on my body.

last night ax called to join the homies for drinks at applebees. they might be joining me for a ballgame! afterwards, i got so far as to remember to take the water pill, but passed out before i could remember to drink anything... bad idea.




i woke up around 5 am suprised as balls that there was a homeboy in my bed ((even though i told him to come over)). i was the thirstiest i've ever been and was about to pee my pants. drinking my pee actually came to mind. gross.

i made it to the bathroom with no leaks, sprays, or explosions. i stood up to go to the kitchen for a water and almost fell over. i practically crawled to the kitchen and drank 6 glasses and went back to bed.

i woke up a half hour later... ((lather, rinse, repeat))... FIVE TIMES!




by the time i woke up for work, ((still thirsty)) my legs and back were so sore from being that dehydrated.

painful and awkward.

((regret #17, just in case i don't trash the book))



i just got back from a run. i got about 1.5-2 miles away and realized that i had to poop. no biggie. i turned around and picked up the pace a little bit. about .25m later, my ass is about to explode. in the last mile, i was trying to walk as quickly and gracefully as possible as to not continue the bouncing of the bowels.

by the time i got home, i couldn't even climb the stairs because i was starting to get all crampy. i had to shit in the guest bathroom.

painful and awkward.

i ate a banana.



sad panda.



in upcoming events, tomorrow is the start of my birthday weekend extravaganza. it will start with me sleeping in and checking out some of denton's arts and jazz festival. ((everyone should plan to be here))

((note to out-of-staters: denton has an annual arts and jazz festival that they are waay too cream-your-pants about... i'm sure it's better than the wheels wings and water festival with the lemonade concert and shit, but still... nobody will shutup about it))

post shit-fest, i'll hit the road to arlington to catch the opening game of the three-game sweep that is about to happen this weekend. ((go twins! cleaning house!!)) ((everyone should plan to be here))

upon my return to denton, i'll run the boiler room to catch congratulations and the sugar free all-stars. ((everyone should plan to be here))



saturday: lather rinse repeat with a different crowd and no boiler. ((but everyone should plan to be here)) also, we will be cooking out and pre-gaming in the lot. come hook up with us and grab a hotdog.

sunday: everyone should plan to shower me with gifts and cookies and alcohol and compliments and fruit baskets. and then join me for the last birthday series ballgame. followed by a mega-party at my house! this would also be the ideal time to drop off your fruit baskets. ((BE THERE!))

also, there is this:

korean baby singing hey jude

because of superbonbon's jerkface comment i ran this morning. i was planning on eating absolutely horribly all week and gaining a million pounds and then requitting smoking post-birthday and running... but this means war...

could have been cool, but my camera sucks and i didn't get to approve it. fuck. homeboy, we have to recreate this with your camera of goodness instead of my camera of blurry nightshots before they take down the minibridge of all things adorable.



two days ago i had a dream that sisterx had worms and i was scared that i had them. i knew what kind they were in my dream, but i can't remember the name. i remember they come from eating undercooked pork and it's the kind that gets into your muscles and is all coiled up ((not the heart kind or the super-ultra gross one that hatches in your lungs and then you cough it up and swallow it and it spends the rest of it's life in your digestive track until it's time to lay its eggs again and then it eats through your stomach and into your lungs and lays it's eggs and then crawls back into your stomach and doesn't stop growing until one of you dies. that's legit. ew.)) anyway, it starts with a 'p' or a 't'. i'm pretty sure it's the 't'.

later that night best friend and i finished the commuter crossword puzzle at work. first word of the puzzle, 4 down, segmented worms, eight letters. ANNELIDS. damn, i'm good.

i came home to find these little guys hanging out in my window. cuteness5000. but i bet they have mites.





i had tiramisu for breakfast. then i went running. i'm lactose intolerant and wanted to throw up. now that i've settled a bit, i kind of just have to poop.

i went to texas 8ball the other night to shoot some pool with jx. we played for shots and i won 2 of 3. the original ax was there ((along with everyone else i've ever met in texas ever)) and greeted me with, "hey, sugar, good to see you. have you lost weight?" and then i decided that everyone should say that every time they see me and then buy me shots of jameson later. work on that.

yesterday was earth day. what did i do for earth day... around 11.45p i made an atm bank deposit and i chose the "no receipt" option. yay earth!

i'm working on incorporating barrettes into my hair-accessory rotation. it's proving to be more difficult than i thought because i don't know how to style my hair and i only own one barrette that i found on the floor at work. le sigh.

after my 13-hour shift yesterday, i took the longest and most amazing shower that i've probably ever taken ever. even after running, i think this is the cleanest i've been in about 5 years. i shampooed twice.

i don't work until noon, which means i'm probably going to be working on the patio which means that i will either be sent home or be really crabby the rest of the day. i hate the patio.