broadcasting LIVE from palio's pizza kitchen!

travis and i just got out of WAR, new jet li movie. basically badass. one dude reminded me of one of the few cool kids i work with. the dude that gets shot, then shoots crawford's new partner, then takes a sword through the palm of his hand, then gets shot in the head. basically pretty cool. but the guy i work with isn't a japanese clansman. it's whatever.

not my fault, or is it?

day two of sobriety is okay. still feeling it out.

muwahahahaha. so pre-movie theater, we met up at jupiter house, a place i have been mildly avoiding for several reasons as of late. one was jollyrancher. crazy crazy crazy. a few weeks ago she gave me some nasty pot that i gave away to someone, i believe. i think she was trying to make friends or something. but anyway. while awaiting the arrival of the travesty, i enjoyed some time talking to quartz, or cuarts, or kwurtz. i don't know. apparently during this time, JR telephoned travis mid-nervous breakdown over some ended relationship or boy who wronged her. this is going somewhere, honestly...

that was a lie. it wasn't going anywhere.

get over it.

new jeans from old navy. still no polo shirt. have to re-set up my training with three fins.

::le sigh::

photos later, i guess as i am not home...

i miss this kid. he should call me or something. starting.... now?

my name is mengtar, and i'm an alcoholic. i have officially temporarily quit drinking for the next two weeks. it had started to feel like my body was slowly shutting down and i was continuing to make more and more poor decisions and spending way too much money on smokes and alcohol. i will not be chain-smoking anymore, as i only do that when i drink. i will also not be smoking in my car. 1 down, 13 to go.

since i'm doing a whole health-thing i may start running also. not sure. we'll see.



so two days ago i did something that i would usually openly discuss with the people i chill with but for some reason feel extremely guilty. and sadly, the person that usually hears the dirt on everything is the last person i would want to find out.

::le sigh::



now that vaguey-mc-vague-vague is done talking... in other news.

john and laura are officially together. congratulations, i really don't care. a thousand people have called to tell me and that was my reaction to them ver batum. i still have yet to hear from him and at this point can't figure out if he's being a misinformed dick or a fucking chickenshit. based on everything i know about him, i will safely assume the latter.

at this point, i only care because it would be nice to talk to him and to get my shit back. he still has my fish bowl ((not for fish)), my DC hat, my volcom shirt ((which actually used to be pete carey's volcom shirt)), my taco john's shirt ((which actually used to be emily erickson's taco john's shirt)), and my black river falls basketball duffel bag ((which actually used to be some basketball player's duffel bag from black river falls, wisconsin))



also in the news, i have no money and the labor day mattress sales are this weekend. FUCK! maybe kyle will have a re-change of heart.

was supposed to start at three-fins but have yet to do so... FUCK AGAIN!

things i may have learned last night:

i am not good at pool.

quarter placement means nothing and everything.

afro samurai is completely baller.

adam is a baller.

i am completely dependent on other people and alcohol.




i would give anything to hear from him.

the triumphant return of mengtar!!

a lot of shit. we'll get to that later. but first, and more importantly, i have to rant about some of my co-ballers. or should i say faux-ballers!!!!



this white kid kept checking himself out on the way to the game, he even had a matching fluorescent green earring, like he used to be a stoner hippie and conveniently had the tribal spaced out barf lobe. anyway, congratulations you are wearing a huge hoodie during summer, what a fucking baller you are, you must know jay-z personally, right? i can so totally tell.

this is you: but mom i can't go back to school if i don't have at least 5 different graphic disney-like FUN printed hoodies to cycle through my wardrobe with, and like five, no, TEN, 180 degree brimmed baseball hats with whatever team logo, A's NYY's who cares! i don't even like baseball. YES I NEEEEED THEM! DON'T EMBARRASS ME!

you gave birth to a baller. yes, mom. i'm sorry, but that's what you did.





and so on.

sometimes all you need is to never be left alone.

((fucking shoot me))

the anxiety accellerates.

i have slept at my house alone once in the past two weeks.

too dependent, but i've been having a blast.

also, i lack sleep and sanity.

pictures and stories of everything to come. don't worry, i've been keeping track. and my memory is like a safe.

((liar))

i have never worked a drive-thru in my life. in fact, i have never even driven through starbucks drive-thru in my life. my personal philosophy is if i don't have the time to shift my car into park and walk inside to buy a $2 cup of coffee, i really just don't need coffee. it kind of cheapens the whole experience anyway. The whole romanticism of a good cup of coffee is lost when you contrast it with suburban moms throwing all their little crotch spawn into the minivan and driving them through the starbucks so they can't run amok in the cafe. why even put on pants? starbucks has a drive-thru now!

also it doesn't help that the latest trend of the retarded kids everywhere is to play "fire in the hole". basically you borrow daddy's bmw and order a drink from a drive-thru and then throw it back at the worker and shout "fire in the hole" as you drive off. then you upload the video to youtube. inspired, i know. if you have ever worked retail, food service, or fast-food in your life, then this will make you cringe.



if you raised any of these crotch spawn, you failed as a parent; and when the myspace generation starts having kids, we are so fucked.

futuristic zelda due for a release in 2008.

let me go to sleep and wake up that day.

that is all.

the last thing mengtar needs is involvement. i promise.

crazy nights are bleeding into crazy days. my life is becoming trippy.

stories and photos to come. promise that also.

my favorite:

Cx said: i really gayed out on that guy last night.

but i just may be the lunatic you're looking for.

saw the simpsons movie! very well done. i laughed often. but it could have been more crude. on account of anxiety and bridges ((or lack thereof)) i started drinking before the movie... then had a movie tavern tanker at the movie... twas grand.

slept over and watched no more than the opening credits of four rooms ((which is angering because i really wanted to watch that movie.))

hung out on top of some building last night. then a cop rolled by. that was our cue. it was a good time. i need more sober nights like that.

also, small furry woodland creatures are on the rise.

cue freakout!

soo... sunday's show was alright, but good times were had.

a shallow grave was much better than expected. ((i was fully expecting them to blow ass, especially because they went on at 7.)) but i enjoyed it. they play very well together.

some piana chic was on next and blew more ass than i had expected a shallow grave to blow. wow. don't get me wrong, she had moments of great talent, but her performance quality sucked intensely.

just before leaving for kyle's to get some green on, i got another call from john. at least this time he only waited a week to call me? it was good to hear from him. still miss him.

came back, drank more. it was whatever.

i got a less-than-friendly 6am wake-up call from michael the next morning reminding me that i was supposed to bring him to the airport. fuck.

and he didn't buy me breakfast, smoke, or gas. he can fuck himself. i won't even pretend his racist jokes are funny anymore. fuck.

i don't really remember much else that has happened recently.

i went to bed extremely happy the other night. woke up even happier. then there were pancakes. that was a great day.

note to self: stop being shady.

also, apparently daniel has been arrested... again...

::sigh::

take care of your tickets, kids.

my right arm is covered in bug bites, bruises, burns and scratches. however, my left side is blank. i feel abstract.