on random day-x of this summer, i was upset of something and the only thing that cheered my up was that kyle turner told me that small woodland creature populations were on the rise.

something so ridiculous was simple enough to make me happy.

i was on my way to meet pumpkin head at riprocks last night, and there was a squirrel on the sidewalk. i was sure he was dying. he was trembling and breathing heavily. in my perma-ultra-loser-state i cried over it.

on my post-bar walk back to my car he was still there. he didn't move. it was equally sad.

tonight i lost at pool for a few hours with homeboy and the worse half of j and l at texas 8 ball. the original ax's massouse committed suicide and a limp bizkit came on keraoke and i cried. kyle played fred durst in pool once and his only regret in life was that he didn't punch him the face, knowing well that he would have gotten the shit kicked out of him.

sometimes i sing comforting songs that i imagine he would sing to me to make me feel better about what's happened.

i may be going crazy. i hope you're okay with that.

i was too afraid to come over that night, but sometimes i think that would have changed everything. i'm sorry.