today is either just a small dip or the lead into breakdown central 5000. and i'm not perioding or insomniacing or anything.

but not smoking still sucks. i haven't been perfect, but i still think i've basically been a badass about it. the only shitty part is that not smoking makes me want to eat everything in existance and its mother... ever.

dear mengtar,
you suck at me.
love, life.

also, i decided that i'm not spending money on non-necessities until i have a laptop. possibly shoes too. sorry kids. no el guapos. no rave. no beer. but the worst one... no jupiter house!!! fuck balls. and i guess that means i'll have to start sleeping regularly or convince mx that he has plenty of room in his budget to buy an espresso machine and hire a barista because fuck if my medium soy mocha with an extra shot of espresso is going to make itself!

think about it.

and FUCK i can't wait to see you, dude!!!!