never have i felt life to be so hopeless. jx still feels that extended time apart is the only solution. each time we discuss it, his solutions seem more harsh. last night was the first time he admitted that he would probably want to see other people. funny, because the only reason he's claiming to be leaving me is so he can find himself, by himself. that's why i can't be there. wouldn't seeing other people kind of defeat the purpose? he may be going to school out-of-state for fall semester, which will turn into the whole year, and probably the next four. he wants me to go back home.

this would be much easier if he was an asshole.

i had to pick up a shift at work tonight, sacrificing our one chance at having dinner together this week because i can no longer be trapped in my own head by myself today. it's driving me crazy and i feel extremely irrational.

i have been getting closer to the people i work with and we hung out and partied a lot every night from thursday- monday last weekend. another tonight. it helps get my mind off everything, and could make it easier once jx leaves to figure out his shit wherever he decides to go. i would be here for him whenever he comes back. their good to me...