((fuck))

also, i totally didn't mean to turn you down upon boobie-touch last night. i was just trying to muster up the balls to say that i read what you said and appreciated it for what you said and meant... and yeah... can we still have make-up sex?

((awkward))

wow... we're both lame-o5000.

also, i love this song... and not just because it's about zombies... but totally because it's about zombies...

((what's in your head?))

nursing my alcoholism... er... baseball anxiety with a betwixt class beer... or two...

whatever.

6.30p can't come soon enough.

i'm fuming with pride in how my incredible structural functionalist paper turned out. and i printed it at kinko's on super-quality paper. ego-feeder5000.

also, i washed my car.

also, it's fucking beautiful outside, and my allergies are fucking my world. balls to that, sir.

also, somewhere on campus ((outside the library, i believe)) kindablack-kx is having a poetry slam... battle... thing... join mAx and homeboy and i and maybe piercer too... no... i'll not invite him... i'm playing THAT card...

because i totally thought kindablack-kx told me that it was 11am... turns out it's pm... or so mAx and i believe... i don't really know...

did i mention i'm retarded?

also, i feel like, and am pretty sure i've lost about all of my muscle mass and gained a million fatty-pounds and am half-dreading starting soccer next friday, but am five-fold excited about it... so that still puts me 4.5 up...



also, thank you for joining me at hooligan's, my daytime drinking bar... and sometimes at night too.

in clerks II, randal escapes his life troubles by temporarily closing the movie store to ride go-karts. it enabled him to escape his realities and return to the simpler times of his adolescence.

i achieve this through hotdogs.

and now i return to my paper...

also, i consider myself a better-than-descent speller ((exception: glove)) but it would have taken me about thirty guesses to get monastery right...

just saying.

finally writing my paper on emile durkheim and the functionalist theories and every time i type "culture" i think "a culture is no better than its woods" and then i think of cute boys...

also, i joined a soccer team.

i called a boy to ask if he wanted to hang out tomorrow but he has class and it immediately turned into the most awkward phone conversation ever because i really like him and i thought he liked me but then he didn't call me for a couple days and it's probably because he's been busy and i have too but maybe it's actually because he doesn't really like me and i totally thought he did...

i'm so embarassing and also i'm mentally twelve right now.

gooo tigers!

so

the chisox are a half game behind.

so

they are playing a makeup game against detroit.

and

if they lose, the twins will be in the playoffs

but

if they win, they will be tied with the twins

so

they will have to play a tie-breaker tomorrow.

...

i might have a heart attack before wednesday.

also, anyone that can find me the skol vikings ringtone that doesn't come with a subscription will win a dinner and wine date with me...

dinner consisting of whatever i can afford or leftovers...

also, i will totally hog the wine.

i lost last night's post of how amazingly my pinot noir compliments red baron mexican pizza...

but tonight...

you wouldn't believe it...

columbia crest pinot grigio and hotdogs...

enjoying the intensity of the fast approaching baseball post-season... with class.

5am anxiety wake-up.

i can appreciate the similarities and differences between, "can we cuddle tonight?" and, "would you like to pass out at my place for a couple hours before work?"

i wonder if i'd feel better about it if i believed in prayer.

((love you, coley!))

also, i'm going to have to watch this movie far less sober... for even further enjoyment...







((i heart fantastic planet))

this is me doing more wine drinking than paper writing...



and being completely unenthused.

it's whatever. i just found out it's only a two-pager. that's something i can breeze through in the hour between classes... WITH research. so i'll just chill and drink and wait for that time to roll around for me tto roll on over and convince piercer i'm crushing on to watch high fidelity.

great... a movie about failed relationships with the guy you're trying to get with...

whatever.

things have been more awkward.

i think i'll start leaving everyone voicemails like that...

"hey, mom, it's me. call me back"

((everyone))

i've been overly conflicted lately with boys and drunkenness.

dx won't stop throwing this seven-foot-19-year-old-virgin in my lap. awkward. nice kid. too underexposed. part of me just wants to be nice and just be uninterested, but part of me wants to break ((not fuck)) him a little... i would consider it a character building exercise.

then there's the piercer that i haven't decided if i'm falling for, or if i'm just enjoying the affection... and he likes THE BOOKS! BUT... he claims he "doesn't do oral."

le sigh.

it took over a year to break homeboy of that shit. disappointed5000.

i can't help but notice homeboy's increased interest in me that just happens to coincide with his ex's new relationship. in addition to excessive tension, pride, and egos, imagining why i still submit still isn't as scary as walking away.

it's possible, even likely, that wednesday's arguement was me being a drunken bitch. but i can't help but wonder if he was just being a dick to rebuild his ego from the night prior's scuffle. with even more frustration, i don't even know how to talk to him about it.

wow, total downer5000.

in happier news...

i'm waiting for my mexican pizza to finish baking so it can compliment my mondavi pinot noir... it was on sale... both of them.

FUCk! apparently i'm supposed to be writing a paper on structural functionalism.

balls to the rest of tonight. but salute!

not-so-cool bearded guy from jupiter house said:

bran muffin again. do you like them?

mengtar said:

no. i just like pooping.

FUCK!

did i dance last night?

((indeed))

also, homeboy's friend that doesn't like me but complimented my shirt a few days ago waved at me while i approached the coffee shop.

sometimes i just don't know how to be nice.

an email sent to dadx, a well-to-do employee of NCR.

Whenever I make a purchase off Ticketmaster, they give me an offer to do a survey. It's pretty boring, consisting mostly of questions like "Was it easy to find what you were looking for?" "Why did you choose Ticketmaster?" and other questions that you bullshit through to see what the special offer is at the end...

The offer I have gotten the past four (yes, four) times is a one-year magazine subscription for $2. I don't care how crappy of a magazine it is, if I get mail that doesn't say "You owe us $X" I'm happy.

So I am now a subscriber to TIME, Sports Illustrated, Men's Fitness ((those boys are CUTE!)) and Fortune!

I think my personal net worth increased twenty per cent upon receiving my first issue.

So I started reading it tonight, and I found an article called "The Art of Selling." It talks about some of the greatest salespeople or selling techniques of all time.

The most entertaining quip of the article was this bit on John H. Patterson of NCR:

"John H. Patterson, National Cash Register's founder, had strange and stringent rules for his hires. He built fields on NCR's campus and required salespeople to do exercises. He dictated how much they could pay for neckties. He once fired an emloyee who nearly slipped from a horse during a character-building equestrian event he organized. Seen as the father of modern sales force, Patterson mentored (then fired) IBM founder Thomas Watson Jr."

Interesting.

we're gonna win twins
we're gonna score
we're gonna win twins
watch that baseball soar

knock out a homerun
shout a hip-hooray
cheer for the minnesota twins today!

i showered last night but i still smell. i can't figure out if it's because my insides are rotting or because i'd been out of deoderant for the past few days.

t minus two minutes to twins vs. chisox!

also, kill for the kingdom has a myspace page now.

welcome to the major leagues.



((not really))

after class i stopped by target to pick up some necessities.

deoderant.

toilet paper.

shampoo.

part one of three of my halloween costume.

beer.

like making a selection at jupiter house, i stood in the beer aisle for a good ten minutes before deciding on sam adams octoberfest brew.

amazing.

it has a very warm autumn flavor that reminds you of sitting outside on warm autumn nights with oak and pine grazing your senses...

i've never been so sexually aroused by a beverage... ever.

amazing.

the fire hydrant ((new coffee shop)) is awkwardly quiet. i felt like i had to whisper my order to the guy behind the counter.

he replied loudly.

i started receiving my fortune magazine subscription today, but i'm not allowed to read it until i finish my paper.

upon submission of my essay, my net worth is going to increase twenty per cent.

one of homeboy's friends that doesn't like me complimented my shirt and was more fake-nice than usual. i almost bought into it.

the silly mistakes i make while sober...

((le sigh))

do we really have to go over this?

honestly?

UGH! you're ruining my blog!

fine.

FINE! i'll say it!

attention everyone! the scarf from three posts ago was a gift from homeboy for no good reason other than because i'm fucking amazing. ((and that they cost a dollar))

you've been credited.

((happy?))

she is always surprised to hear your voice stripped of pride.
your call nearly lost until she turned in the street.

happy 700. i'm over it.

my identity has officially been stolen... again.

can't i just belong to myself for a fucking minute?

whatever. i'm just going to sit here in my clothesplosion of a bedroom and list off things i hate in order to improve the quality of procrastination for writing my gilgamesh essay. balls.

stealers
liars
eric novotney
people that bring their crotch spawn to restaurants
white people with dread locks
nick cannon
shrimp

so there's a girl at work that mAx and i are not fond of. she ordered a shrimp alfredo and told mAx he could have some. he rushed me to the table so we could eat all of the shrimp ((and only the shrimp)) out of the dish before she returned.

i threw it up. i knew i didn't like shrimp, but i think i'm allergic.

way gross.

also, welcome back to scarf weather and general irritability due to chill factors.

also, i think i heard the song "rock you like a hurricane" more in the last week than in my entire lifetime.

just saying.

my next paper...

relations between the great northern railroad and the mesabi iron range.

telephone interview with my crazy uncle much?

also, there's less than a dozen games before post-season and we still can't stay ahead of the chisox for more than a day.

it's going to come down to next week's series and panic is setting in...

((breathe deep and drink))

mengtar does not look like cate blanchett.

and no, you cannot have my phone number.

mengtar the saved: master of the guilt-trip blog!

((love you, man))

you're right, and you have every right to be upset that i'm unable to see you play in austin. i understand that this tour is a big deal for you. i would love to be there and to finally see you again. it is long overdue.

and you were right about homeboy. i don't know why i continue to put myself into a situation that makes me feel increasingly uncomfortable. and i don't know why you would compare the situations.

but you can't choose my priorities for me. i hold your friendship in high regard, but i also need to be sure i'm taking the correct steps to better myself. i've wasted plenty of time out of school and now know that it is now something i should be taking much more seriously.

i'm extremely proud of you. and not in the "keep in contact with him so you can have a famous friend" sort of way. i'm glad that you're enjoying your life and the payoff of your hard work.

i don't ask to hear your stories so i can live vicariously through you and see what life is like being an LA rockstar. i enjoy hearing that you're enjoying and taking pride in what you do.

and you don't have a right to accuse me of fabricating reasons i'm unable to visit LA or austin. i've tried. and i'm still trying. i've held this in higher regard than you think.

and if you're truly done "wasting your time on me", it's been nice. apparently your standards are higher than what i can offer at this time.

((i guess i just need better friends))

happy birthday, sisterx!

worsehalfofjandl said:

fuck that guy.



((indeed))

st. ives face wash should make a periods and opiates formula.

classes cancelled tonight on account of the storm over 300 miles away.

silly texans.

dear minnesotans,
i live in denton, tx.
denton is not on the seacoast.
no hurricanes are hitting denton.
you can stop calling to warn me about the tornado or ask if i plan to evacuate.
please.
love, mengtar.

or maybe i'll just take the other one out...

but i like them...

((le sigh))

no, i don't know how to make the video stop playing!

hung.

i still felt sick and mopey last night and was supposed to go to the blue condition show at the door.

bailed.

then cxpx called to ask some stupid question...

cxpx said:

so what are you doing tonight?

mengtar said:

i don't know. probably just stay home and rest a bit.

cxpx said:

aww... are you throwing up?

mengtar said:

no.

cxpx said:

do you have a fever?

mengtar said:

no.

cxpx said:

then wipe the blood off your vagina and go get something to drink!

well worth it.

the rest of the night was NOT worth it.

my nipple ring fell out in my sleep and now my boobie looks naked. i found the bar but because it was out all night, i can't fit it back in.

FUCK! i only slept like 4 hours! how does that shit heal up so damn fast!?!? i hope rx is still doing piercings so i can get this fixed. FUCK!

FUCK!

((fuck))

my neighbors are crafty.

not fancy enough to be arts-and-crafty or evil enough to be witch-crafty, but some sort of annoyance in the middle.

every time opt for an outdoor run over an at-the-gym run, i am greeted by the hums and grars of everyones' lawnmowers, as they send me into an allergic fit of crying and whining and sniffling and sneezing.

i kind of just want to pout into a nap but i might never wake up and tonight is blue condition night someplace in dallas. they might suck. and i don't even have a camera so i don't know if i can even pretend to want to be enjoying this.

also, everyone is calling to tell me they love me and wish me well during the hurricane... should i really be concerned? i was under the impression that i was far enough inland that hurricanes ceased to be... have i been lied to? again?

it's whatever.

welcome to cooking with mengtar.

i'm paging through some ads while i defrost my chicken.

medieval times has adult tickets at kid prices until halloween. that was really exciting until google told me that kids tickets are still almost forty dolla.

i'm on a budget. i'd be better off buying a bigger dog and holding my own back yard joust.

i dreamt that a spider slit my throat, but i survived.

i woke up hella hung and spent most of my day staring at wall, but upon further examination, it's more likely that i'm sick.

((heh... back yard joust))

go px!

i think my ear-sweat shorted out my ipod headphones.

how am i still single?

i'm going to see some band later, but kx is learning to play the flute.

is it later yet?

my twin is a celebrity!



((we're kind of a big deal))

i can't get the word "microbes" out of my head.

microbes.

microbes.



((microbes))

in an online survey for extra frequent flyer miles, i was asked if i owned a personal aircraft.

i said yes.

after football, i napped and drank beer and cx made enchiladas and bought me icecream.

just in case you were still worried about me being crabby...

now you can sleep.

waay bored. but i start my winning-prize 2-week gym membership on wednesday. so if i'm bored again at this hour later in the week, i could go work out?

all i want to do is watch the fucking football game without the fucking dog licking my pants and without my fucking roommates annoying the shit out of me. outbursts of unnecessary giggling and irrelevant statements and me slitting my wrists in the corner.

why did i stay home on game night? sunchips would make this waay better.

i've been waay crabby and probably pre-mensing lately.

every month, hx calls me out and asks if i'm about to start.

he's always within three days.

today was that day.

FUCK!

i'm not sure why i continue to make pseudo-plans with you more than 20 minutes in advance when i know they will fall through. anything between 40 minutes to three hours has a thirty per cent chance of working out and anything over 12 hours doesn't stand a chance.

and i still can't buy the intimidation factor when you have the balls to say or do some pretty shitty things.

in other recent news, i love hotdogs.

also, i'm pretty sure i am set on becoming a complete recluse. i'll just sit in my room with wellington also wearing nothing but a hat and slippers and blog about how i still hate people.

i think my attic creature left me too. how lonely.

ushistoryteacherx said:

have you seen gone with the wind?

mengtar said:

not since i was six.

ushistoryteacherx said:

you are defiant in your duties as an american citizen... and as a southerner.

mengtar said:

i'm a yankee.

ushistoryteacherx said:

and with that, we need take a break.

((during the same period))

ushistoryteacherx said:

we need another andrew jackson. i want my president to shoot somebody.

((amazing))

also, i'm beginning to develop a mild ((but growing)) dislike for my world literature teacher. ((it's a community college. they're not allowed to be called professors.)) worst. grammar. ever.

"i could give you an A" = "i might-can give you an A"

several times.

might-can.

seriously?

also, the outdoor cockroach infestation on oak and welch is finally gone. i'm glad they didn't build an empire or my fry street parking would have fallen to sub-prime. i bet they were socialists.

sometimes i think beer is the best suppressant of my longing to bash in your car windows. all of them.

yesterday's biggest mistake of the evening:

choosing the incorrect language on the atm and having to navigate my deposit options in what seems to be heiroglyphics.

((but i just completely paid off TWO credit cards... fuck. yes.))

i think my dead friend is visiting me in my sleep. i enjoy it, but i'm not sure if that makes me crazy, or if i should enjoy being crazy as well.




also, the district attorney is a bigger cuntfaceloser than eric novotney and refuses to fight for any more money than my deductible, when i clearly deserve more. after all, i'm not a car theif.




i was boycotting blogging because i was bitter that i broke my camera in a state fair defensive head-butting battle with mnhomeboyax. if i had kept my pig ears, i totally would have won.



courtesy of wally the beerman, i had apparently drank a few summits...




did you know that honeybees live from 25-35 days? but the honeybee queen will live for 7 YEARS?!? mnhomeboyax's dad's cousin-through-marriage-maybe said so. i'd want to live during her younger years. milfs rock.






we spun some wheels...



to win some prizes...



again... we may have been drinking...



i'm a server.



we like pens.



don't judge me.



and the republicans even came up early!



how supportive!



supportive enough to swing our votes!



reagan 08!



i regret it... i totally should have bought this...



i've wasted $30 on soo many other wastier things. soo many.



i was more than ready to leave minnesota.






even though it's a very... artistic... place?





i'll settle with content for now.